Très-bian Lapham
@fabianlapham.bsky.social
Oh you have a baby? That’s cool, I used to be one of those, ask it if it’s heard of me.
Not enough has been said about how Beatles-George was a sharply dressed dandy and Solo-George went immediately dadcore.
November 12, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Not enough has been said about how Beatles-George was a sharply dressed dandy and Solo-George went immediately dadcore.
Doctor asked me if I wanted a general anaesthetic, I said nah, I’m not taking chances, gimme the brand name stuff.
November 5, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Doctor asked me if I wanted a general anaesthetic, I said nah, I’m not taking chances, gimme the brand name stuff.
I saw this shark in the ocean, but no one believed me. It spoke to me with a voice that was as coarse as the sand but as calm as the morning tide. Even under the water, I could understand its words. Something about football, I think, I dunno, I zoned out.
November 4, 2025 at 12:41 AM
I saw this shark in the ocean, but no one believed me. It spoke to me with a voice that was as coarse as the sand but as calm as the morning tide. Even under the water, I could understand its words. Something about football, I think, I dunno, I zoned out.
They should have also put these on the songs where the saxophone sounded too horny
November 3, 2025 at 6:38 AM
They should have also put these on the songs where the saxophone sounded too horny
Bought an underwater phone case so I can doomscroll up to 30ft
October 30, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Bought an underwater phone case so I can doomscroll up to 30ft
wtf my dog just told me he’s evolving longer claws so he can dig up insects like sloth bears do, is this normal? He’s 4
October 12, 2025 at 6:15 AM
wtf my dog just told me he’s evolving longer claws so he can dig up insects like sloth bears do, is this normal? He’s 4
Superhero films capture mere fragments of the comics. They’ve only recently embraced colourful costumes. We’re still decades away from “I had fight at the U.N. and I got turned into a baby.”
October 7, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Superhero films capture mere fragments of the comics. They’ve only recently embraced colourful costumes. We’re still decades away from “I had fight at the U.N. and I got turned into a baby.”
Actually, it was just “Frankenstein”. “Mary Shelley” was the name of the author.
September 27, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Actually, it was just “Frankenstein”. “Mary Shelley” was the name of the author.
I don’t think enough questions are being asked about the choice to do this in script format.
Like, were the two of them planning on putting this on as a little play?
Like, were the two of them planning on putting this on as a little play?
September 25, 2025 at 8:37 AM
I don’t think enough questions are being asked about the choice to do this in script format.
Like, were the two of them planning on putting this on as a little play?
Like, were the two of them planning on putting this on as a little play?
“Hey hey, we’re the Monkees - and people say we monkey around”
*CLUTCHES PEARLS*
“But we’re too busy singing - to put anybody down”
*RELEASES PEARLS*
*CLUTCHES PEARLS*
“But we’re too busy singing - to put anybody down”
*RELEASES PEARLS*
September 11, 2025 at 9:36 AM
“Hey hey, we’re the Monkees - and people say we monkey around”
*CLUTCHES PEARLS*
“But we’re too busy singing - to put anybody down”
*RELEASES PEARLS*
*CLUTCHES PEARLS*
“But we’re too busy singing - to put anybody down”
*RELEASES PEARLS*
Got an autism diagnosis. The doctor didn’t ask me any questions, she just listened to me talk about Ninja Turtles for an hour.
September 10, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Got an autism diagnosis. The doctor didn’t ask me any questions, she just listened to me talk about Ninja Turtles for an hour.
I SAID I WANT A FUCKING KITKAT, MUM
August 27, 2025 at 7:20 AM
I SAID I WANT A FUCKING KITKAT, MUM
“Randy, we need a song for when the toy cowboy gets jealous of the toy spaceman.”
“I had power. I was respected. But not anymore.”
“It is a kid’s film. Maybe something lighter?”
“They laugh at your jokes, you think you're doin' quite well - but you're in danger, boy.”
“I… yeah, ok fuck it.”
“I had power. I was respected. But not anymore.”
“It is a kid’s film. Maybe something lighter?”
“They laugh at your jokes, you think you're doin' quite well - but you're in danger, boy.”
“I… yeah, ok fuck it.”
August 16, 2025 at 6:10 AM
“Randy, we need a song for when the toy cowboy gets jealous of the toy spaceman.”
“I had power. I was respected. But not anymore.”
“It is a kid’s film. Maybe something lighter?”
“They laugh at your jokes, you think you're doin' quite well - but you're in danger, boy.”
“I… yeah, ok fuck it.”
“I had power. I was respected. But not anymore.”
“It is a kid’s film. Maybe something lighter?”
“They laugh at your jokes, you think you're doin' quite well - but you're in danger, boy.”
“I… yeah, ok fuck it.”
Reposted by Très-bian Lapham
Drinking half a bottle of Jack Daniels at 3 in the afternoon to "get in the writin' mood" waking up with a headache and a single draft note saying "what if The Bear was a real bear"
August 16, 2025 at 5:38 AM
Drinking half a bottle of Jack Daniels at 3 in the afternoon to "get in the writin' mood" waking up with a headache and a single draft note saying "what if The Bear was a real bear"
Any employer who specifically asks you to apply for a role and then doesn't give it to you has serious "Won't you also dance for your king?" vibes.
August 14, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Any employer who specifically asks you to apply for a role and then doesn't give it to you has serious "Won't you also dance for your king?" vibes.
Is that what the Frank Sinatra song is about
July 29, 2025 at 11:46 AM
Is that what the Frank Sinatra song is about
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich, which I believe indicated a strong “no”.
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich, which I believe indicated a strong “no”.
July 26, 2025 at 7:42 AM
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich, which I believe indicated a strong “no”.
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich, which I believe indicated a strong “no”.
Glad to see some people are still shooting with practical effects.
July 25, 2025 at 11:14 AM
Glad to see some people are still shooting with practical effects.
People being nice to me on my birthday brings out my imposter syndrome (my mum & the doctor did most of the work).
July 23, 2025 at 11:13 PM
People being nice to me on my birthday brings out my imposter syndrome (my mum & the doctor did most of the work).
These birds are totally casing out that house. Keep your windows locked.
July 18, 2025 at 6:59 AM
These birds are totally casing out that house. Keep your windows locked.
I can actually lean much quicker than I can clean.
July 14, 2025 at 9:04 PM
I can actually lean much quicker than I can clean.
Tried box breathing to soothe my claustrophobia, WOULD NOT RECOMMEND.
July 13, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Tried box breathing to soothe my claustrophobia, WOULD NOT RECOMMEND.
Yikes. The pigs* just asked me to come down to the station** to answer some questions***.
* My employers at Metro.
** The railway station.
*** Informing travellers about the replacement bus schedule.
* My employers at Metro.
** The railway station.
*** Informing travellers about the replacement bus schedule.
July 13, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Yikes. The pigs* just asked me to come down to the station** to answer some questions***.
* My employers at Metro.
** The railway station.
*** Informing travellers about the replacement bus schedule.
* My employers at Metro.
** The railway station.
*** Informing travellers about the replacement bus schedule.
His comedy is so fucking limp that it can’t even find the basic rhythm of “Super Trump”.
“Superman Trump” is how a fucking 4 year old would say it.
“Superman Trump” is how a fucking 4 year old would say it.
July 12, 2025 at 8:47 AM
His comedy is so fucking limp that it can’t even find the basic rhythm of “Super Trump”.
“Superman Trump” is how a fucking 4 year old would say it.
“Superman Trump” is how a fucking 4 year old would say it.