Hector F Writes
@hectorwrites.bsky.social
Mexican in the UK. Screenwriter and rambler, occasional gig goer and avid reader. Posts the odd sunset.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
A nervous student housemate; we convinced him that our digs were haunted. Rigged a system to rattle the coat-hangers in his wardrobe at 3am. He screamed and ran out of the house, was a nervous wreck for days. We never told him the truth. That was 30 years ago, sorry Mark.
January 23, 2026 at 9:20 AM
A nervous student housemate; we convinced him that our digs were haunted. Rigged a system to rattle the coat-hangers in his wardrobe at 3am. He screamed and ran out of the house, was a nervous wreck for days. We never told him the truth. That was 30 years ago, sorry Mark.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
I had a phase in the late 80s when I did a load of drugs and booze. Rented a room in North London and moved all my stuff in, went on a bender, lost my paperwork and could not find the place afterwards. My car was outside too, never found that either.
January 23, 2026 at 12:20 PM
I had a phase in the late 80s when I did a load of drugs and booze. Rented a room in North London and moved all my stuff in, went on a bender, lost my paperwork and could not find the place afterwards. My car was outside too, never found that either.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
My grown children always tease me that porridge made with water is my favourite food because it's all they saw me eat. I hate porridge. I only ate it because it was 50p for a bag and I didn't want to let them know we were poor as shit. The 'proper food' was for them
January 23, 2026 at 1:20 PM
My grown children always tease me that porridge made with water is my favourite food because it's all they saw me eat. I hate porridge. I only ate it because it was 50p for a bag and I didn't want to let them know we were poor as shit. The 'proper food' was for them
Reposted by Hector F Writes
I haven't pad for a single Cadbury's Cream Egg in over 10 years. I call them Crime Eggs and it makes them even more delicious.
January 23, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I haven't pad for a single Cadbury's Cream Egg in over 10 years. I call them Crime Eggs and it makes them even more delicious.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
My neighbour is a vicar so I leave little 'miracles' for him to find. He's gonna lose his shit when he sees one of his gnomes has developed stigmata
January 24, 2026 at 8:20 AM
My neighbour is a vicar so I leave little 'miracles' for him to find. He's gonna lose his shit when he sees one of his gnomes has developed stigmata
Reposted by Hector F Writes
I'm completely out of my depth. I'm one of 3 people responsible for investment fund of £2bn. I got here by blagging, incompetence of my superiors, and good timing. I rely on advisors and repeating keywords I've heard from others. I need an exit strategy before I get found out
January 24, 2026 at 5:20 PM
I'm completely out of my depth. I'm one of 3 people responsible for investment fund of £2bn. I got here by blagging, incompetence of my superiors, and good timing. I rely on advisors and repeating keywords I've heard from others. I need an exit strategy before I get found out
Reposted by Hector F Writes
Me returning from the pub aged 18: "I'm stealing these traffic cones for the sheer fun of it." Me returning from the pub tonight aged 45: "I'm stealing these traffic cones to put them on the double yellows by my kids' school to stop people parking dangerously."
January 25, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Me returning from the pub aged 18: "I'm stealing these traffic cones for the sheer fun of it." Me returning from the pub tonight aged 45: "I'm stealing these traffic cones to put them on the double yellows by my kids' school to stop people parking dangerously."
Burns night, haggis, neeps & tatties and cranachen for pudding!
January 25, 2026 at 9:58 PM
Burns night, haggis, neeps & tatties and cranachen for pudding!
Reposted by Hector F Writes
Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets are now on sale for Glasgow, Leicester, Luton and Leeds. The Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow . Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
January 22, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets are now on sale for Glasgow, Leicester, Luton and Leeds. The Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow . Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
Reposted by Hector F Writes
I was a trainer at a football camp. A boy whose surname was Tidy went missing. I went to his room to find him & he wasn't there. His room was a pig sty. Said to myself "well I guess he's more Messi than Tidy". It was the greatest pun i'd ever come up with & no-one else heard it.
January 22, 2026 at 4:20 PM
I was a trainer at a football camp. A boy whose surname was Tidy went missing. I went to his room to find him & he wasn't there. His room was a pig sty. Said to myself "well I guess he's more Messi than Tidy". It was the greatest pun i'd ever come up with & no-one else heard it.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
I'm writing this in the tub as I start the second hour of my bath. I keep running more hot water as it gets cold. I'm going to have to get out soon though, my battery is on 7%.
January 22, 2026 at 6:20 PM
I'm writing this in the tub as I start the second hour of my bath. I keep running more hot water as it gets cold. I'm going to have to get out soon though, my battery is on 7%.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
My grandad used to love his allotment until one summer when I was very young when I planted a whole row of lightbulbs, thinking they would grow into lamps. He was finding shards of glass for years and once seriously cut himself. Always felt guilty I ruined his favourite hobby
January 22, 2026 at 9:20 PM
My grandad used to love his allotment until one summer when I was very young when I planted a whole row of lightbulbs, thinking they would grow into lamps. He was finding shards of glass for years and once seriously cut himself. Always felt guilty I ruined his favourite hobby
Reposted by Hector F Writes
Being a depressed middle aged divorcee, I have sedatives to help sleep and little blue pills to help on rare occasions where I might get laid, I keep both in my bedside cabinet. Took the wrong one last night in the dark and fell asleep almost straight away and didn't get laid.
January 16, 2026 at 5:20 PM
Being a depressed middle aged divorcee, I have sedatives to help sleep and little blue pills to help on rare occasions where I might get laid, I keep both in my bedside cabinet. Took the wrong one last night in the dark and fell asleep almost straight away and didn't get laid.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
On a first date. She leaned over to show me a pic on her phone, a message popped up saying 'never mind, looks aren't everything!' Our eyes met in disbelief. Tried to laugh it off but was clearly upset. On the way out I loudly hit my head on a door as it swung open too.
January 16, 2026 at 7:20 PM
On a first date. She leaned over to show me a pic on her phone, a message popped up saying 'never mind, looks aren't everything!' Our eyes met in disbelief. Tried to laugh it off but was clearly upset. On the way out I loudly hit my head on a door as it swung open too.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
Neighbour allows his dog to shit on my drive and doesn't clear it up. His beautiful new BMW is having issues. Can't wait for the mechanics to figure out its because his exhaust is slowly being filled with said shit.
January 16, 2026 at 9:20 PM
Neighbour allows his dog to shit on my drive and doesn't clear it up. His beautiful new BMW is having issues. Can't wait for the mechanics to figure out its because his exhaust is slowly being filled with said shit.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets are now on sale for Glasgow, Leicester, Luton and Leeds. The Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow . Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
January 17, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets are now on sale for Glasgow, Leicester, Luton and Leeds. The Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow . Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
Reposted by Hector F Writes
New boss casually used the word "dramastically" in a meeting and no batted an eye. Tried it myself a few times, no reactions from anyone. Beginning to think they all believe it's actually a word, or it somehow became one without me knowing.
January 17, 2026 at 8:20 AM
New boss casually used the word "dramastically" in a meeting and no batted an eye. Tried it myself a few times, no reactions from anyone. Beginning to think they all believe it's actually a word, or it somehow became one without me knowing.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
In my 30s/40s I would meet random women from the Internet for sex. I've always wondered If I was rock bottom for any of them to realize they needed to change their ways.
January 17, 2026 at 11:20 AM
In my 30s/40s I would meet random women from the Internet for sex. I've always wondered If I was rock bottom for any of them to realize they needed to change their ways.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
I work from home a lot. Some days, there's not much work to do so I wait for my wife and son to go out and shout "BIG DAY IN THE BIG BOYS BED' and both dogs run upstairs to burrow under the bed covers and we all have a mid-morning nap together. It's the highlight of my week.
January 17, 2026 at 2:20 PM
I work from home a lot. Some days, there's not much work to do so I wait for my wife and son to go out and shout "BIG DAY IN THE BIG BOYS BED' and both dogs run upstairs to burrow under the bed covers and we all have a mid-morning nap together. It's the highlight of my week.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
My proudest parenting moment was when my 11yo daughter asked me to teach her how to write software so she could strip the adverts from the podcasts she downloaded. That's when you know you have a good kid.
January 17, 2026 at 3:20 PM
My proudest parenting moment was when my 11yo daughter asked me to teach her how to write software so she could strip the adverts from the podcasts she downloaded. That's when you know you have a good kid.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
Forgot to book the wanking room at the hospital when needing to produce a sperm sample after a vasectomy. Had to dig deep to produce a sample in the toilets with a guy coughing his guts up two cubicles down.
January 17, 2026 at 4:20 PM
Forgot to book the wanking room at the hospital when needing to produce a sperm sample after a vasectomy. Had to dig deep to produce a sample in the toilets with a guy coughing his guts up two cubicles down.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets are now on sale for Glasgow, Leicester, Luton and Leeds. The Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow . Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
January 18, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets are now on sale for Glasgow, Leicester, Luton and Leeds. The Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Leicester and Glasgow . Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
Reposted by Hector F Writes
Our pet Aylesbury duck died. Thought I'd dispose of it in the woods to complete the circle of life etc. Ended up throwing it on top of a thick bramble hedge where it stayed conspicuously for 3 weeks as no animals could get to it.
January 18, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Our pet Aylesbury duck died. Thought I'd dispose of it in the woods to complete the circle of life etc. Ended up throwing it on top of a thick bramble hedge where it stayed conspicuously for 3 weeks as no animals could get to it.
Reposted by Hector F Writes
My dad used to be a photographer back in the '80s. Once, after a night out full of coke and booze, he ended up attending the wrong wedding. The photos were lovely though
January 18, 2026 at 11:20 PM
My dad used to be a photographer back in the '80s. Once, after a night out full of coke and booze, he ended up attending the wrong wedding. The photos were lovely though
Reposted by Hector F Writes
My wife gets upset unless the TV's volume is set to a prime number (generally 67 or 73) but I have to have it on an even number. The range she selects is fine but need it to be divisible by 2. So we watch very little TV and mostly read detective novels.
January 19, 2026 at 10:20 AM
My wife gets upset unless the TV's volume is set to a prime number (generally 67 or 73) but I have to have it on an even number. The range she selects is fine but need it to be divisible by 2. So we watch very little TV and mostly read detective novels.