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Lane Stellmaker

@hipcrimevocab.net

5.7K followers 700 following 8.4K posts

Husband. Lawyer. Hunter. Fisherman. Swordsman. Warrior poet. Philosopher king. Legend.

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · Nov 8

For new followers and refugees from the other place:

Greetings. My name is Lane. I'm a lawyer and sometimes I do good work, thanks to my team. www.nytimes.com/2024/05/26/n...

How a Profane Joke on Twitter Spawned a Legal Army

A litigation team built from the sharpest, funniest tweeters is suing Elon Musk.

www.nytimes.com

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 3h

I am absolutely a Nolan and *will* punish you for ignoring my plot hooks.

But if you are a good PC and do as you are, let’s say gently guided, I promise you a rousing, emotional, complex, and satisfying campaign.

A D&D style alignment chart comparing DMs to famous directors.

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Reposted by Lane Stellmaker

Popehat Agitates And Irritates @kenwhite.bsky.social · 11h

I’ve never seen anything remotely this petty charged as bank fraud.

Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com · 12h

NEW: Here's the two-count indictment against NY AG Letitia James. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

INDICTMENT
October 2025 Term - at Alexandria, Virginia
THE GRAND JURY CHARGES THAT:
GENERAL ALLEGATIONS
At all times relevant to this Indictment:
1. Letitia A. James ("JAMES) was a resident of Brooklyn, New York, and the borrower on a
Fannie Mae-backed mortgage loan for the property located at 3121 Peronne Avenue,
Norfolk, Virginia.
2. OVM Financial (also known as Old Virginia Mortgage / AnnieMac) was a mortgage lending business located in Virginia Beach, Virginia, engaged in the business of originating and underwriting residential mortgage loans, including those backed by the Federal National Mortgage Association ("Fannie Mae"). OVM Financial qualified as a "financial institution" within the meaning of 18 U.S.C. § 20(10).
3. Fannie Mae was a federally chartered corporation that purchased and guaranteed mortgages,
operating as a government-sponsored enterprise under the oversight of the Federal Housing

Finance Agency ("FHFA").
4. First Savings Bank was a state-chartered, FDIC-insured financial institution (Certificate
#29961), headquartered in Jeffersonville, Indiana, which acquired mortgage loans through assignment or acquisition. First Savings Bank qualified as a "financial institution" within the meaning of 18 U.S.C. § 20(1).
5. On or about August 17, 2020, JAMES, as sole borrower, purchased the three (3) bedroom,
(1) bathroom property located at 3121 Peronne Avenue, Norfolk, Virginia 23509 (the
"Peronne Property"), for approximately $137,000, financed with a mortgage loan of approximately $109,600 (Loan #4430025978) backed by Fannie Mae.
6. The loan was originated by OVM Financial under a signed Second Home Rider, which required JAMES, as the sole borrower to occupy and use the property as her secondary residence, and prohibited its use as a timesharing or other shared ownership arrangement or agreement that requires her either to rent the property or give any other person any control over the occupancy or use of the property.
7. Despite these representations, the Peronne Property was not occupied or used by JAMES as a secondary residence and was instead used as a rental investment property, renting the property to a family of (3).
8. This misrepresentation allowed JAMES to obtain favorable loan terms not available for investment properties, including a note rate of 3.000% (avoiding a 0.815% higher
comparable investment property rate of 3.815%, resulting in approximately $17,837 in rate savings over the life of the loan), a seller credit of approximately $3,288 (exceeding the seller credit for investment properties by approximately $1,096), for total ill-gotten gains of approximately $18,933 over the life of the loan.
9. JAMES' Universal Property application for homeowners' insurance indicated "owner-

occupied non-seasonal use," further misrepresenting the intended use of the property.
10. JAMES filed Schedule E tax forms), under penalties of perjury, treating the Perrone Property as rental real estate, reporting fair rental days, zero personal use days, thousand(s)
of dollars in rents received, and claiming deductions for expenses relating to the property, further contradicting the second home classification.
11. The loan was acquired by or assigned to First Savings Bank by March 2021, exposing it to risks associated with the misrepresented loan.
12. The acts described herein occurred within the Eastern District of Virginia.
COUNT ONE
(Bank Fraud - 18 U.S.C. § 1344)
13. The allegations in paragraphs 1 through 12 are re-alleged and incorporated herein.
14. From on or about August 7, 2020, through at least January 2024, in the Eastern District of Virginia and elsewhere, the Defendant, LETITIA A. JAMES, did knowingly execute and attempt to execute a scheme and artifice to defraud OVM Financial and First Savings Bank,
financial institutions, and to obtain moneys, funds, and credits owned by and under the custody and control of OVM Financial and First Savings Bank by means of false and fraudulent pretenses, representations, and promises.
15. The scheme involved falsely representing the Peronne Property as a secondary residence to obtain favorable mortgage terms, while using it as an investment property with no intended
or actual personal occupancy or use by her.
(In violation of Title 18, United States Code, Section 1344).
COUNT TWO
(False Statements to a Financial Institution - 18 U.S.C. § 1014)
16. The allegations in paragraphs 1 through 12 are re-alleged and incorporated herein.

17. From on or about July 28, 2020, through at least August 31, 2020, in the Eastern District of Virginia and elsewhere, the Defendant, LETITIA A. JAMES, did knowingly make and cause to be made false statements and reports for the purpose of influencing the action of OVM Financial, a Fannie Mae-backed lender, upon an application for a loan, in that JAMES represented and affirmed in uniform residential loan applications and related documents that
the Peronne Property would be used as a secondary residence, when in truth and fact, as JAMES then knew, the property was intended and used as an investment property with no intended or actual personal occupancy or use by her.
(In violation of Title 18, United States Code, Section 1014).
FORFEITURE NOTICE
Pursuant to Federal Rule of Criminal Procedure 32.2(a) and Title 18, U.S.C. §
982(a)(2)(A), upon conviction of the offenses in Counts One and Two, the Defendant, Letitia
A. James, shall forfeit to the United States any property constituting, or derived from, proceeds obtained, directly or indirectly, as a result of such violations, including but not limited to a money judgment in the amount of $18,933.
If any of the property described above, as a result of any act or omission of the Defendant: (a) cannot be located upon the exercise of due diligence; (b) has been transferred or sold to, or deposited with, a third party; (c) has been placed beyond the jurisdiction of the court; (d) has been substantially diminished in value; or (e) has been commingled with other property which cannot be divided without difficulty, the United States shall be entitled to a forfeiture of substitute property pursuant to Title 21, U.S.C. § 853(b), as incorporated by Title
18 U.S.C. § 982(b)(1).
(In accordance with Title 18 U.S.C. § 981(a)(1)(C) and 982(a)(1); Title 28, U.S.C. § 2461(c); and Title 21 U.S.C. § 853(p).)

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 3h

I guess there’s a reason people say he is the first analytic philosopher

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Reposted by Lane Stellmaker

Peter Thal Larsen @petertl.bsky.social · 2d

This photo from Portland by @reuters.com's Carlos Barria 👌

A demonstrator dressed in an inflatable frog costume stands infront of law enforcement officers during a protest outside of the ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) headquarters in south Portland, Oregon, U.S., October 3, 2025. REUTERS/Carlos Barria

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 4h

Salvation - New Gods - Crisis, bringing back actors/versions of DC characters from other movies. I see the arc. Ambitious, but he might be able to do it.

Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 4h

A frog sits drinking coffee. The words "peace, land, bread" appear at the bottom.

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 4h

...

Gunn is going to try to do Crisis, isn't he?

Reposted by Lane Stellmaker

GHOULLIKEHELLMACHINE @golikehellmachine.com · 5h

FROGS TOGETHER STRONG is fucking incredible

The Oregonian @oregonian.com · 6h

Things are happening at Portland's ICE facility tonight.

Read more of our protest coverage here: www.oregonlive.com/crime/2025/1...

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 4h

Prof, this isn't satire. They're falling over themselves to do just this, even my alma mater, which I thought was made of sterner stuff.

Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 5h

I’ll have to look it up

Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 5h

Lawyers can generally bond ourselves out of jail

Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 5h

I don’t support Florida hockey

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 10h

Tonight, it begins. Another year of shitposting by me through Dallas Stars hockey games.

#NHL #HockeySky #WPGvsDAL #Manitobaisn'treal

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 11h

This cannot stand.

Anna Bower @annabower.bsky.social · 12h

Read the indictment returned against New York AG Letitia James, via @lawfaremedia.org:

www.documentcloud.org/documents/26...

Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 11h

You can bond out. Prosecutors do not want that smoke and do not want that charge to be made public. You are going to have to get your hands dirty with some civil disobedience here. Demand that they justify themselves under the law. Realize you may be the plaintiff that strikes down Kavanaugh stops.

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 11h

If you are a lawyer, and you see this, you need to intervene. Start requesting that these masked gestapo identify themselves, and identify what law this person has broken. Make them articulate their probable cause. Yes, they will threaten to arrest you for interfering with police duties. Resist.

CollinCountyDems @collincountydems.bsky.social · 15h

This is terrifying!

ICE breaks into this woman’s car in the pick-up line at West Loop Elementary school in Chicago and detains her before she can pick her kids up from school. (They were eventually let go after showing their documents)

This is Trump’s America.

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Reposted by Lane Stellmaker

Mark Joseph Stern @mjsdc.bsky.social · 19h

When the Supreme Court struck down Biden's policies, it was tempting to think: "At least these limits on executive authority will bind Trump if he comes back into office." But no—the court's skepticism of executive power vanished on Jan. 20, 2025. This dynamic is obvious to anyone paying attention!

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 20h

They do not recognize your authority to throw a flag. They will not be accepting your penalty. They will continue committing fouls with impunity.

It’s time to take our ball and go home.

Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 20h

No, I’m fully aware. We have reached that point. Fixing this problem is no longer possible within the framework the right has decided does not apply to them.

You are like a kid at a pickup football game shouting trying to throw a flag on fouls the other side is blatantly committing.

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 20h

Those people are space aliens and you may safely disregard them

Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 21h

Rightlibs are totally fine with state power so long as it is used against the poor, minorities, or other disenfranchised/disempowered groups.

This is why you need not ever take them seriously.

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 21h

Rightlibs stole the label. They were authoritarian tax protesters who were fine with state power, just not taxation, and rothbard and co stole the label from “libertarian socialists” or anarchists, the only ones truly skeptical of state power.

Justin @justinlawguy.bsky.social · 1d

True libertarians are right about a lot (not all) things. The problem is, there are only about 7 of them, and they've all been banned from official libertarian conferences.

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 1d

Oh, everyone here knows it too. But if you're in the correct political party and know lots of rich donors, no one cares what you do because the only thing that matters is you use your power to get more of them elected.

Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 1d

He *was* indicted, but his buddies on the highest criminal court ruled that his friends in the county government could deny funds to the attorneys appointed to prosecute him, thereby effectively rendering his prosecution impossible.

www.kut.org/politics/202...

Texas appeals court halts order to pay lawyers who prosecuted AG Ken Paxton

In a major loss for the special prosecutors, the First Court of Appeals in Houston ruled that a lower court erred in ordering the lawyers to be paid $300 an hour for their work on the Paxton fraud cas...

www.kut.org

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Lane Stellmaker @hipcrimevocab.net · 1d

Even if you just use canned beans and cook it this way, they turn out loads better. The problem with the canned beans is they're never seasoned enough. The genuine article are always usually seasoned more, usually with a frying oil that imparts a flavor instead of just vegetable oil.