Author | Lightnews

tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 1d

it is 2013. washington's presumptive franchise quarterback suffers a major injury at home against the seahawks. it is 2025. washington's presumptive franchise quarterback suffers a major injury at home against the seahawks

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 1d

huge freeze? yeah, i loved arnold in "batman & robin"

tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 1d

if i was making fun of CBS's programming i would definitely come up with "sheriff country" as a fake tv show

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 1d

trevor bauer won the cy young. fakest season of all time

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 2d

my other hot take: the jays are finishing under .500 next year at the very least. idk if they can recover from this

tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 2d

what if tom brady was a baseball team (derogatory)

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 2d

jays and dodgers doing this bc they knew i wanted to watch a movie after the game

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 3d

it makes so much sense that taylor sheridan was in "sons of anarchy." the spirit of that show flows through everything he's made since

tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 6d

we really are reliving the george w bush presidency, huh

the top 4 teams in the a.f.c are the colts, patriots, broncos, and steelers

tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 8d

this is a really confusing game for me because i hate green bay and aaron rodgers in equal measure

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 8d

rest assured, this account does not have negativity for rome odunze

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 8d

stafford and dak prescott were considered busts at one point?

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 8d

if he went by fred krueger he would've just been some guy with an office job who sometimes forgets to keep up with his fantasy football team

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 9d

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 9d

paul skenes is like, what if a pitcher had randy johnson's stuff and and chris klein's on-camera charisma

tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 9d

on second thought, no, go do your concert in the parking lot

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 9d

i hope the geico gecko gets eaten by a snake or a housecat

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 10d

this is an emotional series for the dodgers, if they win clayton kershaw gets to live out his lifelong dream and be sworn in as an ICE officer when they visit the white house

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 10d

krusty using going to the bathroom as an excuse to escape and then the mafia guy going "when he's done in there, i gotta go" is such a perfect example of the writers being willing to cram as many jokes as possible

tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 10d

krusty betting against the globetrotters might be my all time favorite bit/scene in the entire show

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 11d

who reasons when you've got heroin?

daiun.bsky.social @daiun.bsky.social · 11d

Fuck off then Bluesky losers, tip away, tip 150%, the fuck I care. Cry about the White House and wish your life were better and boo hoo the Epstein files and we don’t want a king waaa I’m a service worker I make coffee pity me pity me love America or leave it waaaa

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 11d

[the cranberries voice] would you like to pull my finger

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 17d

if sufjan stevens made a new illinois album he'd have to do a song about lori lightfoot, which means he'd be playing the glockenspiel or whatever on a song called "the biggest dick in chicago"

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 19d

i'm old enough to remember the "we're coating bullets in bacon fat to send muslims to hell" stuff, they cannot fool me with this shit

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tony hawk's prolapse @ivnob.bsky.social · 20d

conference call with HR because i won't stop doing the paulie walnuts laugh at the office