Joe Martin
@jamthefed.bsky.social
I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn’t it anymore and what’s it seems weird and scary.
Pinned
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
I have 365 of these jokes, I should make a 🧵 and post one a day this year!
Reposted by Joe Martin
FBI director tells Americans not to bring guns to protests, schools still okay
FBI director tells Americans not to bring guns to protests, schools still okay
WASHINGTON – Following the killing of Alex Jeffrey Pretti in Minneapolis, FBI director Kash Patel has advised American citizens participating in anti-ICE demonstrations to leave their firearms at home...
www.thebeaverton.com
January 26, 2026 at 1:36 AM
FBI director tells Americans not to bring guns to protests, schools still okay
As dumb of an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty as you can take there.
January 26, 2026 at 1:59 AM
As dumb of an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty as you can take there.
Reposted by Joe Martin
Absolutely shameful to throw your employee under the bus when they’re murdered, but that’s what happens when you’re in the dumbest cult of personality in the history of the world
January 26, 2026 at 12:27 AM
Absolutely shameful to throw your employee under the bus when they’re murdered, but that’s what happens when you’re in the dumbest cult of personality in the history of the world
I remember this thing making me puke.
January 25, 2026 at 11:07 PM
I remember this thing making me puke.
Reposted by Joe Martin
Santa Cruz, by Peter Doig, 2025
January 25, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Santa Cruz, by Peter Doig, 2025
Reposted by Joe Martin
NUNAVUT WON A GAME AT THE TOURNAMENT OF HEARTS!!!
January 25, 2026 at 10:01 PM
NUNAVUT WON A GAME AT THE TOURNAMENT OF HEARTS!!!
Reposted by Joe Martin
“Sir we’ve lost r/massivecock”
January 25, 2026 at 5:48 PM
“Sir we’ve lost r/massivecock”
You'd think he'd show up in Northern California with what's going on and his shit health.
Donald Trump won't be attending the Super Bowl this year, so he'll miss out on Bad Bunny's halftime show. bit.ly/4aec8rp
Donald Trump skipping Super Bowl, blasts Bad Bunny and Green Day
Donald Trump announces that he will not attend Super Bowl LX in San Francisco as he blasts performers Bad Bunny and Green Day.
bit.ly
January 25, 2026 at 5:41 PM
You'd think he'd show up in Northern California with what's going on and his shit health.
Last thing you see as a NPC in Crazy Taxi.
January 25, 2026 at 5:40 PM
Last thing you see as a NPC in Crazy Taxi.
Reposted by Joe Martin
I spent the most formative years of my political life reading headlines like this seemingly every week.
January 25, 2026 at 4:07 PM
I spent the most formative years of my political life reading headlines like this seemingly every week.
Reposted by Joe Martin
💔💔💔💔💔. “Please get the truth out about our son.”
January 25, 2026 at 2:25 AM
💔💔💔💔💔. “Please get the truth out about our son.”
I think I forgot to post it but I said to pals when that happened he'll say the complete opposite in a few days.
Trump one week ago: "It's a good thing for him [Carney] to sign a trade deal. If he can get a deal with China, he should do that."
Trump today: "If Canada makes a deal with China, it will immediately be hit with a 100% Tariff against all Canadian goods and products coming into the U.S.A."
Trump today: "If Canada makes a deal with China, it will immediately be hit with a 100% Tariff against all Canadian goods and products coming into the U.S.A."
January 24, 2026 at 4:44 PM
I think I forgot to post it but I said to pals when that happened he'll say the complete opposite in a few days.
LFG
Amazing turnaround time guys.
February 4th.
February 4th.
January 23, 2026 at 11:59 PM
LFG
Reposted by Joe Martin
Combine every tech buzzword into one headline but add fentanyl:
CBP Wants AI-Powered ‘Quantum Sensors’ for Finding Fentanyl in Cars
US Customs and Border Protection is paying General Dynamics to create prototype “quantum sensors,” to be used with an AI database to detect fentanyl and other narcotics.
www.wired.com
January 23, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Combine every tech buzzword into one headline but add fentanyl:
If there's one thing Smith loves, it's sitting on both sides of the fence.
Very straightforward test for Smith: vigorously refute this.
Bessent pushes Albertan independence from Canada: "Albertans are very independent people. There's a rumor they may have a referendum on whether they want to stay in Canada or not. People are talking. People want sovereignty. They want what the US has got."
January 23, 2026 at 5:13 PM
If there's one thing Smith loves, it's sitting on both sides of the fence.
That would be the most Bills thing to do.
"I would like Philip Rivers as the head coach of the Buffalo Bills, I’d actually love it." – Ryan Clark
January 23, 2026 at 4:55 PM
That would be the most Bills thing to do.
Reposted by Joe Martin
Alternate history SS Superman being a dick as usual.
January 23, 2026 at 2:29 AM
Alternate history SS Superman being a dick as usual.
A Clockwork Muppet
The Muppet Centipede
Muppet a rated r (or worse) movie
Fatal Muppet Attraction
Fatal Muppet Attraction
January 23, 2026 at 12:33 AM
A Clockwork Muppet
Dude loves skipping leg days.
It was a treat to talk about turf toe, dying empires, why Republicans have such shitty workout form, and Jarrett Stidham with the great @patrickwyman.bsky.social. Another one in our new (?) half Evil Stuff/half sports style. defector.com/ideologicall...
Ideologically Opposed To Proper Workout Form, With Patrick Wyman | Defector
It’s not great, if I’m being honest. From amending my answer to the question “how ya doing Roth” at the very beginning of this week’s episode of The Distraction, it is clear that things are not going ...
defector.com
January 22, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Dude loves skipping leg days.
**Channeling my Mike Ditka interview energy**
Can't. Next.
Can't. Next.
How do you justify abducting a child? defector.com/how-do-you-j...
How Do You Justify Abducting A Child? | Defector
On Tuesday, some number of Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents camped out near Liam Conejo Ramos’s home in the Twin Cities suburb of Columbia Heights and waited for him to return with his…
defector.com
January 22, 2026 at 9:33 PM
**Channeling my Mike Ditka interview energy**
Can't. Next.
Can't. Next.
No shit
Department of Homeland Security is worried about people with "class-based or economic grievances," per its annual threat assessment (leaked to me):
www.kenklippenstein.com/p/leaked-doc...
www.kenklippenstein.com/p/leaked-doc...
Leaked Doc: Homeland Security's Domestic Terror Obsession
Forget Greenland; the American public are the real target
www.kenklippenstein.com
January 21, 2026 at 10:11 PM
No shit