JL 💜💙
@jcgkaufmann.bsky.social
Former: Teacher • Mormon • Lactation Counselor
Current: Homeschooling mom of 4 ND boys with a loud mouth and soft heart • wife • friend • weightlifter • advocate for children
Some call me The General, Human Google, Fierce. One calls me Wretched.
Current: Homeschooling mom of 4 ND boys with a loud mouth and soft heart • wife • friend • weightlifter • advocate for children
Some call me The General, Human Google, Fierce. One calls me Wretched.
Provider: you've gained some weight in the last 6 months.
Me: I should hope so! I've increased my weights on literally every lift I do. Building muscle over here. Newsflash: muscle weighs something!!
If you make me tap the sign, I will tap the MFing sign.
Me: I should hope so! I've increased my weights on literally every lift I do. Building muscle over here. Newsflash: muscle weighs something!!
If you make me tap the sign, I will tap the MFing sign.
February 13, 2026 at 7:28 PM
Provider: you've gained some weight in the last 6 months.
Me: I should hope so! I've increased my weights on literally every lift I do. Building muscle over here. Newsflash: muscle weighs something!!
If you make me tap the sign, I will tap the MFing sign.
Me: I should hope so! I've increased my weights on literally every lift I do. Building muscle over here. Newsflash: muscle weighs something!!
If you make me tap the sign, I will tap the MFing sign.
Reposted by JL 💜💙
A conman, a pedophile, and a felon walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Here by yourself today Mr President?"
The bartender says, "Here by yourself today Mr President?"
a man in a tuxedo is playing drums in front of a red curtain with snl week written on it
Alt: a man in a tuxedo is playing drums in front of a red curtain with snl week written on it
media.tenor.com
February 12, 2026 at 8:51 PM
A conman, a pedophile, and a felon walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Here by yourself today Mr President?"
The bartender says, "Here by yourself today Mr President?"
Second appointment of today was for my kid and his shoulder blade pain.
The MD said we're all weaker now that we aren't working the fields.
Who is we, because I am a perimenopausal, 47 y.o. woman, mom of 4 who bench presses 115lbs.
The MD said we're all weaker now that we aren't working the fields.
Who is we, because I am a perimenopausal, 47 y.o. woman, mom of 4 who bench presses 115lbs.
February 10, 2026 at 10:50 PM
Second appointment of today was for my kid and his shoulder blade pain.
The MD said we're all weaker now that we aren't working the fields.
Who is we, because I am a perimenopausal, 47 y.o. woman, mom of 4 who bench presses 115lbs.
The MD said we're all weaker now that we aren't working the fields.
Who is we, because I am a perimenopausal, 47 y.o. woman, mom of 4 who bench presses 115lbs.
Made my orthopedic MD frustrated today with a clarifying question. Not my fault you weren't specific enough. 🤷🏼♀️
February 10, 2026 at 7:53 PM
Made my orthopedic MD frustrated today with a clarifying question. Not my fault you weren't specific enough. 🤷🏼♀️
Gonna break my don't talk to the mailman rule and ask how he liked the halftime show 😂
February 9, 2026 at 11:43 PM
Gonna break my don't talk to the mailman rule and ask how he liked the halftime show 😂
I remember talking about the Super Bowl commercials because they were fantastic, hilarious, inventive, and hella creative. This year we are all wtf-ing and wth-ing.
Mike Tyson called himself fat and nasty?!?
¿DE DÓNDE?
Mike Tyson called himself fat and nasty?!?
¿DE DÓNDE?
February 9, 2026 at 6:23 PM
I remember talking about the Super Bowl commercials because they were fantastic, hilarious, inventive, and hella creative. This year we are all wtf-ing and wth-ing.
Mike Tyson called himself fat and nasty?!?
¿DE DÓNDE?
Mike Tyson called himself fat and nasty?!?
¿DE DÓNDE?
Ready for tomorrow:
Cake (most important)
Buffalo Chicken dip
Queso
Meatballs
Bosco sticks
Chips and dip
Veggies and dip
Fruit
Cake (most important)
Buffalo Chicken dip
Queso
Meatballs
Bosco sticks
Chips and dip
Veggies and dip
Fruit
February 7, 2026 at 11:43 PM
Ready for tomorrow:
Cake (most important)
Buffalo Chicken dip
Queso
Meatballs
Bosco sticks
Chips and dip
Veggies and dip
Fruit
Cake (most important)
Buffalo Chicken dip
Queso
Meatballs
Bosco sticks
Chips and dip
Veggies and dip
Fruit
I paid for my car repair today via Venmo.
After leaving the shop he commented on the transaction "Whattup?"
Men are gross.
After leaving the shop he commented on the transaction "Whattup?"
Men are gross.
February 6, 2026 at 11:51 PM
I paid for my car repair today via Venmo.
After leaving the shop he commented on the transaction "Whattup?"
Men are gross.
After leaving the shop he commented on the transaction "Whattup?"
Men are gross.
It's 1990 something and I switch from a public to a Catholic HS and attend my first campus religious life mtg where I meet a young man who is SMITTEN with me then BEREFT because he found out later I was betrothed.
I had a boyfriend!
I was the 1st Mormon most Ss there met.
We're still friends.
I had a boyfriend!
I was the 1st Mormon most Ss there met.
We're still friends.
it’s 1990 something and I’m sneaking outta the house to smoke weed with the cute boy with a car and sneaking back in with punk rock mix tapes and hickies.
it’s 1990 something and i’m wearing CK1 cologne and black adidas sambas being chased with 3 other idiots by Austin PD as we streak butt naked across the UT campus
February 4, 2026 at 11:51 PM
It's 1990 something and I switch from a public to a Catholic HS and attend my first campus religious life mtg where I meet a young man who is SMITTEN with me then BEREFT because he found out later I was betrothed.
I had a boyfriend!
I was the 1st Mormon most Ss there met.
We're still friends.
I had a boyfriend!
I was the 1st Mormon most Ss there met.
We're still friends.
Me, minding my business, listening to my audiobook, switching laundry.
Mr. 13 (the one who does not talk much) sticking his head around the corner doorway, shirtless: Mom, I learned how to make a tourniquet with my shirt and a hockey stick. See?
Shows me his leg with a tourniquet on his thigh.
Mr. 13 (the one who does not talk much) sticking his head around the corner doorway, shirtless: Mom, I learned how to make a tourniquet with my shirt and a hockey stick. See?
Shows me his leg with a tourniquet on his thigh.
February 4, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Me, minding my business, listening to my audiobook, switching laundry.
Mr. 13 (the one who does not talk much) sticking his head around the corner doorway, shirtless: Mom, I learned how to make a tourniquet with my shirt and a hockey stick. See?
Shows me his leg with a tourniquet on his thigh.
Mr. 13 (the one who does not talk much) sticking his head around the corner doorway, shirtless: Mom, I learned how to make a tourniquet with my shirt and a hockey stick. See?
Shows me his leg with a tourniquet on his thigh.
I attended the ETR meeting for the kid I tutor. I was reminded over and over again why I homeschool.
February 3, 2026 at 11:39 PM
I attended the ETR meeting for the kid I tutor. I was reminded over and over again why I homeschool.
Finding out your Colombian friend from college who is a naturalized US citizen is a MAGA 😭 Fuck.
January 31, 2026 at 6:10 PM
Finding out your Colombian friend from college who is a naturalized US citizen is a MAGA 😭 Fuck.
My HS drama teacher wrote a short story about me. Enjoy what we in my circle of friends refer to as a Sophomore Jen Moment. There were many more. krayproductions.com/project-26/
Project 26
26 stories. 26 memories. Beginning with one that still makes me smile. “What’s MiLK Day?” Jennalee arrived on the scene at PMHS as a sophomore, so I never taught her, but she was a big part o…
krayproductions.com
January 25, 2026 at 9:11 PM
My HS drama teacher wrote a short story about me. Enjoy what we in my circle of friends refer to as a Sophomore Jen Moment. There were many more. krayproductions.com/project-26/
At the walk in clinic with my oldest.
MA: boys never leave their mommas.
Me: Actually, the whole point is independence which is why I am here to support as I scaffold the skills for him to do medical appointments alone.
MA:...
Do not say stupid shit to me.
MA: boys never leave their mommas.
Me: Actually, the whole point is independence which is why I am here to support as I scaffold the skills for him to do medical appointments alone.
MA:...
Do not say stupid shit to me.
January 24, 2026 at 5:45 PM
At the walk in clinic with my oldest.
MA: boys never leave their mommas.
Me: Actually, the whole point is independence which is why I am here to support as I scaffold the skills for him to do medical appointments alone.
MA:...
Do not say stupid shit to me.
MA: boys never leave their mommas.
Me: Actually, the whole point is independence which is why I am here to support as I scaffold the skills for him to do medical appointments alone.
MA:...
Do not say stupid shit to me.
I just made Mr. 13's day by asking him to get me something in the back of the cabinet on the top shelf. I'm not short but do need a stool for that.
January 23, 2026 at 5:56 PM
I just made Mr. 13's day by asking him to get me something in the back of the cabinet on the top shelf. I'm not short but do need a stool for that.
NO one had their garbage bins out at 8pm Tues night. I guarantee they thought it was delayed due to MLK.
Put ours out. I texted one neighbor to tell her there was no delay. Slowly I saw a few more bins out. In the morning about 1/2 were not still. Slowly they trickled out. Fascinating.
Put ours out. I texted one neighbor to tell her there was no delay. Slowly I saw a few more bins out. In the morning about 1/2 were not still. Slowly they trickled out. Fascinating.
January 22, 2026 at 7:29 PM
NO one had their garbage bins out at 8pm Tues night. I guarantee they thought it was delayed due to MLK.
Put ours out. I texted one neighbor to tell her there was no delay. Slowly I saw a few more bins out. In the morning about 1/2 were not still. Slowly they trickled out. Fascinating.
Put ours out. I texted one neighbor to tell her there was no delay. Slowly I saw a few more bins out. In the morning about 1/2 were not still. Slowly they trickled out. Fascinating.
Why are the new basic curtain rods so freaking flimsy?!?!
January 21, 2026 at 10:17 PM
Why are the new basic curtain rods so freaking flimsy?!?!
"I don't celebrate MLK Jr. Day for obvious reasons."
-10 y.o. white student at a Lutheran school
-10 y.o. white student at a Lutheran school
January 19, 2026 at 4:11 PM
"I don't celebrate MLK Jr. Day for obvious reasons."
-10 y.o. white student at a Lutheran school
-10 y.o. white student at a Lutheran school
I tutor a kid with dyscalculia who needs to memorize conversions.
How many yards in a mile?
1760
How do we remember?
Alexander Hamilton 17
60 yard pass in football
It works!
How many yards in a mile?
1760
How do we remember?
Alexander Hamilton 17
60 yard pass in football
It works!
January 18, 2026 at 10:59 PM
I tutor a kid with dyscalculia who needs to memorize conversions.
How many yards in a mile?
1760
How do we remember?
Alexander Hamilton 17
60 yard pass in football
It works!
How many yards in a mile?
1760
How do we remember?
Alexander Hamilton 17
60 yard pass in football
It works!
When my husband says we're out of something he acts offended when I go look for myself.
Idk why. 9/10 I find some...in the exact place it is supposed to be.
Gotta look with your eyes, not your ass.
Idk why. 9/10 I find some...in the exact place it is supposed to be.
Gotta look with your eyes, not your ass.
January 18, 2026 at 6:07 PM
When my husband says we're out of something he acts offended when I go look for myself.
Idk why. 9/10 I find some...in the exact place it is supposed to be.
Gotta look with your eyes, not your ass.
Idk why. 9/10 I find some...in the exact place it is supposed to be.
Gotta look with your eyes, not your ass.
Today the girl up the street who spends a lot of time here told me that our house feels homey. She feels comfortable here. 💙💜
January 17, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Today the girl up the street who spends a lot of time here told me that our house feels homey. She feels comfortable here. 💙💜
My rotisserie chicken was way undercooked and now it's gonna be a while before I can eat one again.
Guess I have to rely on my emotional support popcorn and dried mangos.
Guess I have to rely on my emotional support popcorn and dried mangos.
January 16, 2026 at 6:39 PM
My rotisserie chicken was way undercooked and now it's gonna be a while before I can eat one again.
Guess I have to rely on my emotional support popcorn and dried mangos.
Guess I have to rely on my emotional support popcorn and dried mangos.
I finished reading Frog and Toad to Mr. 7.
Today he did this.
Iykyk!
Today he did this.
Iykyk!
January 14, 2026 at 3:47 PM
I finished reading Frog and Toad to Mr. 7.
Today he did this.
Iykyk!
Today he did this.
Iykyk!
Ranch therapy thanks to Mission BBQ.
Been a DAY.
Been a DAY.
January 13, 2026 at 11:49 PM
Ranch therapy thanks to Mission BBQ.
Been a DAY.
Been a DAY.