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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · 20h

TEN MINUTES. YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO MAKE POPCORN.

The Onion @theonion.com · 20h

Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person.

Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile today at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT.

Only at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU.

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · 9d

I somehow did not realize this was a book, having just watched the adaptation a few weeks ago. It was fantastic. And, if I'm being honest, I'm not sure that I have the courage to read it.

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Reposted by Jordan LaFlure

Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · 15d

A very big Onion announcement:

The Onion has spent the last two months working on a masterpiece.

It's a documentary titled Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.

It's so good, in fact, we were set to release it in theatres nationwide on October 2nd.

Then two weeks ago, Charlie Kirk was shot.

The Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile title screen

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Reposted by Jordan LaFlure

Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · Sep 6

The Onion News Network truck is currently stationed outside the Broadview ICE Detention facility just outside of Chicago.

The Onion News Network truck featuring the headline ICE Opens New Supermax Prison for Most Hardened Toddlers stationed outside the ICE facility.

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Jul 7

Unfortunately showing your copy to coworkers is strictly forbidden.

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Jul 7

bless you

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Reposted by Jordan LaFlure

Bryce Tetraeder @brycetetraeder.bsky.social · Jun 22

I have sent a copy of ‘The Onion’ to every member of Congress. To spread its message to less powerful people, I have also taken out an ad in a lesser newspaper. Read my full letter here: theonion.com/why-im-sendi...

Congress, now more than ever, our nation needs your cowardice

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Reposted by Jordan LaFlure

Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · Jun 22

EXCLUSIVE — The Onion has a full-page ad in today’s NYT featuring part of an editorial calling out congressional fecklessness towards Trump. They also sent a copy of their latest issue to every lawmaker.

My report, with an excerpt from the full editorial: www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-...

The Onion NYT ad. The headline of the editorial says “CONGRESS, NOW MORE THAN EVER OUR NATION NEEDS YOUR COWARDICE”

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · May 19

Still makes me laugh when I think about it.

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · May 2

If I told you how long I've dreamed of an animated newswire on theonion.com, you'd probably believe me but we'd both be embarrassed to have discussed it.

screenshot of theonion.com homepage depicting new layout and scrolling newswire function

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Apr 30

Showing friends your copy is strictly prohibited. Please direct them to membership.theonion.com.

Join The Onion

Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.

membership.theonion.com

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Apr 30

Yes.

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Apr 30

membership.theonion.com

Join The Onion

Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.

membership.theonion.com

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Apr 22

Truly horrific. I suspect we'll continue to disagree on the role satire can and ought to play in these moments.

Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Apr 22

This is precisely the moment for this type of coverage, but I respect the fact that you don't find it funny.

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Apr 22

That's the gig.

Rioter88 @rioter88.bsky.social · Apr 22

This is a bit too close to home onion.

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Apr 20

Incredible to hear. I’ll say it’s less surprising to someone intimately aware of all the previous constraints but still very validating. Long live The Onion.

Stephen Bush @stephenkb.bsky.social · Apr 19

It isn't a surprise to me that returning to print has made the Onion significantly funnier, but it is a surprise to me how *quickly* it has done so.

theangelofhistory.bsky.social @theangelofhistory.bsky.social · Apr 19

theonion.com/finance-guy-...

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Apr 2

SOLD!

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Reposted by Jordan LaFlure

Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · Apr 1

The Onion subscriber newsletter was nominated for a Webby Award today. The thing you get OTHER than the paper is up for an award.

Yes, I will eat the Webby if we win. Stop asking. I like how they taste. It is not unusual. It's regular behavior.

vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting...

Vote for the best of the internet

I just voted in The Webby People's Voice Awards and checked my voter registration.

vote.webbyawards.com

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Mar 25

Long live The Onion.

Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · Mar 25

GREAT news everyone!

The Onion is hiring! For a bunch of new positions.

Sports Editor (yes, we're bringing it back): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...

Entertainment Editor (going harder here too): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...

And a Staff Writer (!): jobs.gusto.com/postings/the...

Apply or die!

Careers at The Onion

jobs.gusto.com

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Reposted by Jordan LaFlure

The Onion @theonion.com · Mar 21

Subscribe to journalism's last, desperate stand.

Join America's Finest Membership at 25% off:
membership.theonion....

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Jordan LaFlure @jdlaflure.bsky.social · Mar 18

Toppin says yes!

Reposted by Jordan LaFlure

Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · Mar 17

The Onion summer writing fellowship is seeking applicants! It's six months, good salary and benefits.

This year's applicants do NOT have to complete the Eating Challenge, as it turns out this does not adhere to Illinois labor law. We apologize to those who have died in the past.

Writing Fellowship, Summer 2025 at The Onion

jobs.gusto.com

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Reposted by Jordan LaFlure

The Onion @theonion.com · Feb 28

Supporters Praise Trump For Upholding Traditional American Value Of Supporting Murderous Dictators For Political Gain

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