Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 36m

"So like that Pop Team Epic skit where they're in prison and they're swearing allegiance to the Yakuza but because they can't get sake they just cut a lemon in half and lick it and their faces go all SCRUUUUUUNCH?"

Cloud the Bluebird @hydrosongbird.bsky.social · 9h

"No, yours is more chaotic than anything. With him, I feel like someone stuffed a lemon in my mouth."

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

"Yeah, but isn't mine also sour, bitter, hateful, vengeful, jealous, and all other descriptors used to paint the picture of a straight-up bastard?"

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 2h

Sup pussyfarts.

Something something early bird something something worm.

Worms are disgusting, though. Why the fuck would anyone think I'd wanna eat that? Can I just get a burger instead?

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

"Yeah, but isn't mine also sour, bitter, hateful, vengeful, jealous, and all other descriptors used to paint the picture of a straight-up bastard?"

Cloud the Bluebird @hydrosongbird.bsky.social · 9h

"Well, I haven't talked to him, so I don't know for sure, but his energy is... sour, for lack of a better word."

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

"Wait green dickhead? There's a bigger green dickhead than me?"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

"C'moooon! Jet does it all the time! Don't you wanna drive?"

Froggy @lilypadhopping.bsky.social · 9h

froggy stared at jet, blinking her eyes and lip trembling. part of the inner monologue of the frog went along the lines of choppy bits of lyrics from a random song and her parasite screaming at her.

". . . are you sure."

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

"Now now, it's all fine. To a car, this is like scratching a doggie behind the ear! They LOVE this sort of thing!"

Oh no Jet please don't Jet please stop.

"C'mon, it'll be fun!"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

"Now now, it's all fine. To a car, this is like scratching a doggie behind the ear! They LOVE this sort of thing!"

Oh no Jet please don't Jet please stop.

"C'mon, it'll be fun!"

Froggy @lilypadhopping.bsky.social · 10h

the toddler was having a FEW second thoughts about this. the last thing she wanted was to piss off scourge or do anything really bad.

". . . froggy doesn't want to make him mad! froggy doesn't want to hurt the car!"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

Jet nods.

"Okay, sooooo...see the steering wheel. Look at it's uh...it's 'neck' and see that little keyhole in it?"

"Use the screwdriver to pry it out and then find the hole it leaves behind, jam it in there, and give it a turn."

Oh no he's teaching her how to steal a car.

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

"Wait green dickhead? There's a bigger green dickhead than me?"

Cloud the Bluebird @hydrosongbird.bsky.social · 10h

"Um... Pretty sure Froggy is a she."

"And fair enough. It is a very funny idea. Just don't get skewered by the green dickhead."

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

"Truth be told, they probably won't."

"But that's why this is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very funny idea and I need to see it through."

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

(( this fucker is winning ))

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

(( It's just funny to me that there's a Target-brand version of the Game of Life. ))

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 9h

(( There are two tiny Jets on my shoulders right now. ))

(( One of them is telling me to give up on teaching Froggy to jack a car with a screwdriver. ))

(( The other is saying "Lie. Lie lie lie lie lie. Tell her the car will like it. Incite chaos." ))

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

Jet nods.

"Okay, sooooo...see the steering wheel. Look at it's uh...it's 'neck' and see that little keyhole in it?"

"Use the screwdriver to pry it out and then find the hole it leaves behind, jam it in there, and give it a turn."

Oh no he's teaching her how to steal a car.

Froggy @lilypadhopping.bsky.social · 10h

the toddler had rolled down the window, and she grabbed the screw driver in her tiny webbed hands. she blinked and tilted her head.

"froggy need this?"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

"Alright, step one."

Jet a-poses as he hovers down, righting himself and gently landing on the ground.

"Here, you're gonna need this."

He pulls out a screwdriver and tosses it through the window. Hope the window was open.

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

"Alright, step one."

Jet a-poses as he hovers down, righting himself and gently landing on the ground.

"Here, you're gonna need this."

He pulls out a screwdriver and tosses it through the window. Hope the window was open.

Froggy @lilypadhopping.bsky.social · 10h

"froggy doesn't have the key!"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

"Hmmm..."

"Do you have the key?"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

"Truth be told, they probably won't."

"But that's why this is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very funny idea and I need to see it through."

Cloud the Bluebird @hydrosongbird.bsky.social · 10h

"Here's hoping she takes the wheel better than I did that one time Jet tried to teach me."

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

"Hmmm..."

"Do you have the key?"

Froggy @lilypadhopping.bsky.social · 10h

"froggy doesn't know how to start the car!!"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

Jet appears, upside down, seemingly materializing out of thin air from the edge of the screen as he just...hangs there next to the window, defying gravity down to its very core tenants.

"Hey kiddo. Wanna learn to drift?"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

Jet appears, upside down, seemingly materializing out of thin air from the edge of the screen as he just...hangs there next to the window, defying gravity down to its very core tenants.

"Hey kiddo. Wanna learn to drift?"

Froggy @lilypadhopping.bsky.social · 10h

typing on her tablet while sitting in the driver seat of this locked car. she's looking up how to start a car 💀

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 10h

(( I'm still waiting for the day we organize that IC group lobby. ))

(( I keep getting told it's gonna happen it's not happening is it it's never gonna happen. ;.; ))

“𝐋𝐄𝐓’𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓!”⚙️ @variableweapons.bsky.social · 12h

//nah, i’m howling
I need to see you and Goose run the fade in Crossworlds some day HFJGHH

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 12h

(( WELL IF IT ISN'T MY FAVORITE THIRD PLACE GETTER. I APPRECIATE THAT YOU KEEP TRYING. ))

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 12h

(( WELL IF IT ISN'T MY FAVORITE THIRD PLACE GETTER. I APPRECIATE THAT YOU KEEP TRYING. ))

𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 @chainedspeed.bsky.social · 12h

Gooss

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 12h

(( Awesome I'm gonna make fun of 'em now. ))

𝘒𝘙𝘠𝘗𝘛 @kryptthekangahog.bsky.social · 12h

Dami.☆

It's all good, he posted the clip :3

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 12h

(( Don't worry I can body them for you if you'd like. ))

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 12h

(( Don't worry I can body them for you if you'd like. ))

𝘒𝘙𝘠𝘗𝘛 @kryptthekangahog.bsky.social · 12h

Dami.☆

You hate me 💔

𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄 @chainedspeed.bsky.social · 12h

Goose

That clip is not seeing the light of day.

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 13h

"I do too, but I'm confident enough in my masculinity to know I can rock pink."

Cloud the Bluebird @hydrosongbird.bsky.social · 13h

"Eh, I prefer you green."

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 13h

"Nah, pink's an okay color. I make it look good."

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 13h

Well at least you owned up to it.

[ Jet's eyes narrow, his hand twitches, fingers flicking about like a gunslinger ready to draw. ]

You ready to own up to another bluff? C'mon, tadpole. Quit teasing me and get moving. Let's see how long you'll even catch a glimpse of my exhaust for.

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 13h

"Nah, pink's an okay color. I make it look good."

Cloud the Bluebird @hydrosongbird.bsky.social · 13h

"You're really gonna get mad at the killing machine and not the asshole that turned you pink?"

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 13h

I will turn you into a fucking teapot you ugly mosquito-faced bucket of bolts.

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 13h

Nothing-to-show? Are you being wrong on purpose as bait or is this just a side effect of being one of Eggman's countless failed experiments?

𝕄𝕊-𝟘.𝟝 '𝕄𝕖𝕥𝕒𝕝' @everlastingsteel.bsky.social · 13h

Clever insult, nothing to show for racer. I believe your shelf is quite empty of rewards you 'were' meant to receive.

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 13h

I will turn you into a fucking teapot you ugly mosquito-faced bucket of bolts.

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Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 13h

I will turn you into a fucking teapot you ugly mosquito-faced bucket of bolts.

𝕄𝕊-𝟘.𝟝 '𝕄𝕖𝕥𝕒𝕝' @everlastingsteel.bsky.social · 13h

Good for the oven.

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Reposted by Jet the Hawk

Storm the Albatross @babylonbrute.bsky.social · 21h

Storm is currently loading a plate full of croque monsieur sandwiches into a toaster oven.

Ham and parmesan sandwiches with worcestershire sauce then topped with more cheese and sauce.

As always...he's making a little too much for just the Rogues, so anyone's free to grab a bite.

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