katie nguyen
@ktnuggin.bsky.social
writer, comedian, easily startled, always tired
The New Yorker, SiriusXM, PBS Kids, Helium Comedy Club, NPR
https://linktr.ee/katienguyen
The New Yorker, SiriusXM, PBS Kids, Helium Comedy Club, NPR
https://linktr.ee/katienguyen
OR Food Bank
foodfinder.oregonfoodbank.org
PDX food pantries
drive.google.com/file/d/146GxCrdBJ52yuIavvYEzBopp_CxFK20G
Urban Gleaners Free Food Markets
urbangleaners.org/food-finder
Sunshine Division Emergency Food Boxes/Delivery
sunshinedivision.org/get-help
Milk Crate Kitchen
milkcratekitchen.org
foodfinder.oregonfoodbank.org
PDX food pantries
drive.google.com/file/d/146GxCrdBJ52yuIavvYEzBopp_CxFK20G
Urban Gleaners Free Food Markets
urbangleaners.org/food-finder
Sunshine Division Emergency Food Boxes/Delivery
sunshinedivision.org/get-help
Milk Crate Kitchen
milkcratekitchen.org
October 31, 2025 at 6:14 PM
OR Food Bank
foodfinder.oregonfoodbank.org
PDX food pantries
drive.google.com/file/d/146GxCrdBJ52yuIavvYEzBopp_CxFK20G
Urban Gleaners Free Food Markets
urbangleaners.org/food-finder
Sunshine Division Emergency Food Boxes/Delivery
sunshinedivision.org/get-help
Milk Crate Kitchen
milkcratekitchen.org
foodfinder.oregonfoodbank.org
PDX food pantries
drive.google.com/file/d/146GxCrdBJ52yuIavvYEzBopp_CxFK20G
Urban Gleaners Free Food Markets
urbangleaners.org/food-finder
Sunshine Division Emergency Food Boxes/Delivery
sunshinedivision.org/get-help
Milk Crate Kitchen
milkcratekitchen.org
was riffing on a show last night & said that something looked like tripe. for some reason, an audience member immediately (instinctively?) just repeated "tripe!" in response, which led to the following:
me: WHEN I SAY "TRIPE," YOU SAY "TRIPE!" TRIPE!
audience: TRIPE!
me: TRIPE!
audience: TRIPE!
me: WHEN I SAY "TRIPE," YOU SAY "TRIPE!" TRIPE!
audience: TRIPE!
me: TRIPE!
audience: TRIPE!
September 23, 2025 at 6:12 PM
was riffing on a show last night & said that something looked like tripe. for some reason, an audience member immediately (instinctively?) just repeated "tripe!" in response, which led to the following:
me: WHEN I SAY "TRIPE," YOU SAY "TRIPE!" TRIPE!
audience: TRIPE!
me: TRIPE!
audience: TRIPE!
me: WHEN I SAY "TRIPE," YOU SAY "TRIPE!" TRIPE!
audience: TRIPE!
me: TRIPE!
audience: TRIPE!
when i get those scammy bait texts pretending to have the wrong number, trying to be flirty, and they send a selfie of some random asian lady
like... this won't work on me. i don't want asian lady. i have asian lady at home
like... this won't work on me. i don't want asian lady. i have asian lady at home
September 13, 2025 at 4:13 PM
when i get those scammy bait texts pretending to have the wrong number, trying to be flirty, and they send a selfie of some random asian lady
like... this won't work on me. i don't want asian lady. i have asian lady at home
like... this won't work on me. i don't want asian lady. i have asian lady at home
this machine kills fascists
this machine kills anti-fascists
this machine kills pretty much anyone— it's an oscillating fan i glued knives to, very dangerous machine
this machine kills anti-fascists
this machine kills pretty much anyone— it's an oscillating fan i glued knives to, very dangerous machine
September 11, 2025 at 5:41 PM
this machine kills fascists
this machine kills anti-fascists
this machine kills pretty much anyone— it's an oscillating fan i glued knives to, very dangerous machine
this machine kills anti-fascists
this machine kills pretty much anyone— it's an oscillating fan i glued knives to, very dangerous machine
back to school! so much to do!
✓ stock up on candy
✓ rearrange desks
✓ go over class lists
✓ find mouse poop in the office microwave
✓ warn colleagues about mouse poop in the microwave
✓ clean up mouse poop in microwave
✓ log on to tell bluesky i had to clean mouse poop out of the office microwave
✓ stock up on candy
✓ rearrange desks
✓ go over class lists
✓ find mouse poop in the office microwave
✓ warn colleagues about mouse poop in the microwave
✓ clean up mouse poop in microwave
✓ log on to tell bluesky i had to clean mouse poop out of the office microwave
August 25, 2025 at 7:57 PM
back to school! so much to do!
✓ stock up on candy
✓ rearrange desks
✓ go over class lists
✓ find mouse poop in the office microwave
✓ warn colleagues about mouse poop in the microwave
✓ clean up mouse poop in microwave
✓ log on to tell bluesky i had to clean mouse poop out of the office microwave
✓ stock up on candy
✓ rearrange desks
✓ go over class lists
✓ find mouse poop in the office microwave
✓ warn colleagues about mouse poop in the microwave
✓ clean up mouse poop in microwave
✓ log on to tell bluesky i had to clean mouse poop out of the office microwave
i've never gotten a massage, and i don't really want one, but i do regularly fantasize about lying down on one those tables with the hole for the face and taking the best nap of my life
August 14, 2025 at 4:24 PM
i've never gotten a massage, and i don't really want one, but i do regularly fantasize about lying down on one those tables with the hole for the face and taking the best nap of my life
my dad’s a big tech nerd, has been experimenting with AI, & has been really impressed by what it can do
when he excitedly showed my mom so she could try, the first thing she asked it was, “how do i kill you?” it refused to tell her. then she asked it for insider trading tips (which it also refused)
when he excitedly showed my mom so she could try, the first thing she asked it was, “how do i kill you?” it refused to tell her. then she asked it for insider trading tips (which it also refused)
August 8, 2025 at 8:07 PM
my dad’s a big tech nerd, has been experimenting with AI, & has been really impressed by what it can do
when he excitedly showed my mom so she could try, the first thing she asked it was, “how do i kill you?” it refused to tell her. then she asked it for insider trading tips (which it also refused)
when he excitedly showed my mom so she could try, the first thing she asked it was, “how do i kill you?” it refused to tell her. then she asked it for insider trading tips (which it also refused)
the extremely toothy man from the trivago commercials haunts me
July 31, 2025 at 4:11 PM
the extremely toothy man from the trivago commercials haunts me
i don't like it when people say, "nooo, don't kill spiders you find indoors, they eat smaller bugs!" or, "the centipedes eat the spiders, so don't kill those either!"
nah. when i see a bug in my home, i'mma kill it. this is my apartment. i'm trying to chill in here, not sustain an ecosystem
nah. when i see a bug in my home, i'mma kill it. this is my apartment. i'm trying to chill in here, not sustain an ecosystem
July 27, 2025 at 3:40 AM
i don't like it when people say, "nooo, don't kill spiders you find indoors, they eat smaller bugs!" or, "the centipedes eat the spiders, so don't kill those either!"
nah. when i see a bug in my home, i'mma kill it. this is my apartment. i'm trying to chill in here, not sustain an ecosystem
nah. when i see a bug in my home, i'mma kill it. this is my apartment. i'm trying to chill in here, not sustain an ecosystem
when was i radicalized?
probably when an earthquake tore up the stadium i was playing football in, exposing me to toxic waste, and turning me into a mutant made of bones (who still loves football)
probably when an earthquake tore up the stadium i was playing football in, exposing me to toxic waste, and turning me into a mutant made of bones (who still loves football)
July 21, 2025 at 7:15 PM
when was i radicalized?
probably when an earthquake tore up the stadium i was playing football in, exposing me to toxic waste, and turning me into a mutant made of bones (who still loves football)
probably when an earthquake tore up the stadium i was playing football in, exposing me to toxic waste, and turning me into a mutant made of bones (who still loves football)
you've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature
July 21, 2025 at 6:47 PM
you've inherited a movie theater, what's your first double feature
most of the journalists/activists i used to follow on twitter came to bluesky, but a lot of the comedians/writers didn't, so my feed is all off. non-stop horrifying & heartbreaking news, not enough stupid & irreverent shitposting
July 17, 2025 at 10:14 PM
most of the journalists/activists i used to follow on twitter came to bluesky, but a lot of the comedians/writers didn't, so my feed is all off. non-stop horrifying & heartbreaking news, not enough stupid & irreverent shitposting
i'm waiting at a dealership because apparently it takes 2 hours to duplicate a car key. at some point i'm going to have to use the restroom. i hope the toilet's shaped like a car 🤞
June 27, 2025 at 4:57 PM
i'm waiting at a dealership because apparently it takes 2 hours to duplicate a car key. at some point i'm going to have to use the restroom. i hope the toilet's shaped like a car 🤞
"one man's trash is another man's treasure!" - me, burying my garbage in the neighbor's backyard
April 19, 2025 at 5:00 PM
"one man's trash is another man's treasure!" - me, burying my garbage in the neighbor's backyard
i'm what they call an "old soul"
no, it's not because i'm wise beyond my years. it's because as a dog in a human body (cursed by a witch) my soul still ages in dog years and i'm actually 259-years-old
no, it's not because i'm wise beyond my years. it's because as a dog in a human body (cursed by a witch) my soul still ages in dog years and i'm actually 259-years-old
April 9, 2025 at 1:50 AM
i'm what they call an "old soul"
no, it's not because i'm wise beyond my years. it's because as a dog in a human body (cursed by a witch) my soul still ages in dog years and i'm actually 259-years-old
no, it's not because i'm wise beyond my years. it's because as a dog in a human body (cursed by a witch) my soul still ages in dog years and i'm actually 259-years-old
recruiter: you're certainly qualified for this position, and you seem like you'd be a great fit on our team! do you have questions for me about the job?
me: just one. what about recess?
recruiter: excuse me? i don't understand
me: i apologize, i should've been more clear. i meant WHEN is recess?
me: just one. what about recess?
recruiter: excuse me? i don't understand
me: i apologize, i should've been more clear. i meant WHEN is recess?
April 8, 2025 at 8:29 PM
recruiter: you're certainly qualified for this position, and you seem like you'd be a great fit on our team! do you have questions for me about the job?
me: just one. what about recess?
recruiter: excuse me? i don't understand
me: i apologize, i should've been more clear. i meant WHEN is recess?
me: just one. what about recess?
recruiter: excuse me? i don't understand
me: i apologize, i should've been more clear. i meant WHEN is recess?
my parents are vietnamese, but i was born & raised in the U.S. and grew up in the suburbs of MN. and while i've conformed to and adopted countless white, midwestern cultural norms and practices, one thing i will NEVER understand and will NEVER EVER do... is refer to a child as a lil stinker or turd
April 7, 2025 at 6:08 PM
my parents are vietnamese, but i was born & raised in the U.S. and grew up in the suburbs of MN. and while i've conformed to and adopted countless white, midwestern cultural norms and practices, one thing i will NEVER understand and will NEVER EVER do... is refer to a child as a lil stinker or turd
in college, i worked with a rich kid who talked non-stop about his affluent lifestyle. whenever he'd mention vacationing at luxury resorts in jackson hole (which he did often), i'd just say "jackson's hole?" and he'd get upset every time
April 4, 2025 at 6:39 PM
in college, i worked with a rich kid who talked non-stop about his affluent lifestyle. whenever he'd mention vacationing at luxury resorts in jackson hole (which he did often), i'd just say "jackson's hole?" and he'd get upset every time
why does renting a car take SO LONG, even if you've already made a reservation and pre-paid? like, WHY does the rental agent always have to TYPE so much?? WHAT ARE THEY TYPING????
March 27, 2025 at 4:29 PM
why does renting a car take SO LONG, even if you've already made a reservation and pre-paid? like, WHY does the rental agent always have to TYPE so much?? WHAT ARE THEY TYPING????
i staple papers almost daily at work. and whenever i do, i can't help but think about how whenever i USE a stapler... i also BECOME a stapler
March 21, 2025 at 7:45 PM
i staple papers almost daily at work. and whenever i do, i can't help but think about how whenever i USE a stapler... i also BECOME a stapler
as a millennial who works w/ gen Z & alpha, i present my most recent iteration of "back in MY day...":
there was a fight at school & i told the kids that before smartphones & social media, "back in MY day, we didn't record & post! we just gathered around in a circle chanting 'fight! fight! fight!'"
there was a fight at school & i told the kids that before smartphones & social media, "back in MY day, we didn't record & post! we just gathered around in a circle chanting 'fight! fight! fight!'"
February 13, 2025 at 9:06 PM
as a millennial who works w/ gen Z & alpha, i present my most recent iteration of "back in MY day...":
there was a fight at school & i told the kids that before smartphones & social media, "back in MY day, we didn't record & post! we just gathered around in a circle chanting 'fight! fight! fight!'"
there was a fight at school & i told the kids that before smartphones & social media, "back in MY day, we didn't record & post! we just gathered around in a circle chanting 'fight! fight! fight!'"
sometimes self-righteous religious people on the internet argue that without religion, how would we know right from wrong? which, frankly, is just plain insulting
i may not read scripture, and i may not be a woman of faith, but i DO devoutly follow the moral teachings of Goofus and Gallant
i may not read scripture, and i may not be a woman of faith, but i DO devoutly follow the moral teachings of Goofus and Gallant
February 12, 2025 at 11:31 PM
sometimes self-righteous religious people on the internet argue that without religion, how would we know right from wrong? which, frankly, is just plain insulting
i may not read scripture, and i may not be a woman of faith, but i DO devoutly follow the moral teachings of Goofus and Gallant
i may not read scripture, and i may not be a woman of faith, but i DO devoutly follow the moral teachings of Goofus and Gallant
olive garden CLAIMS to have a "create your own pasta" option... but when i tried to order one giant noodle shaped like an old leather boot, filled with marinara, they said they wouldn't do it?? wtf
February 7, 2025 at 8:54 PM
olive garden CLAIMS to have a "create your own pasta" option... but when i tried to order one giant noodle shaped like an old leather boot, filled with marinara, they said they wouldn't do it?? wtf
how'd we go from nacho cheesier to just nacho cheese?
how'd we go from cooler ranch to just cool ranch?
are doritos getting less flavorful... or are our taste buds getting more POWERFUL?!
how'd we go from cooler ranch to just cool ranch?
are doritos getting less flavorful... or are our taste buds getting more POWERFUL?!
February 7, 2025 at 4:23 PM
how'd we go from nacho cheesier to just nacho cheese?
how'd we go from cooler ranch to just cool ranch?
are doritos getting less flavorful... or are our taste buds getting more POWERFUL?!
how'd we go from cooler ranch to just cool ranch?
are doritos getting less flavorful... or are our taste buds getting more POWERFUL?!