Lamont Price
@lpizzle.bsky.social
Comedian, Actor, Writer. Judy Blume is my dream woman. Great on clay
That's right, sweetie bop. This is chitlin loaf
November 29, 2025 at 12:55 AM
That's right, sweetie bop. This is chitlin loaf
Reposted by Lamont Price
I like to think Tommy DID get whacked, and we’re just seeing one of his torments in hell.
He went from top for the world, to low level burgler, who repeatedly gets foiled by a child.
And he can’t even swear.
He went from top for the world, to low level burgler, who repeatedly gets foiled by a child.
And he can’t even swear.
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
November 28, 2025 at 7:34 PM
I like to think Tommy DID get whacked, and we’re just seeing one of his torments in hell.
He went from top for the world, to low level burgler, who repeatedly gets foiled by a child.
And he can’t even swear.
He went from top for the world, to low level burgler, who repeatedly gets foiled by a child.
And he can’t even swear.
Reposted by Lamont Price
New holiday headcanon
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
November 28, 2025 at 7:39 PM
New holiday headcanon
Reposted by Lamont Price
8 years ago, I did a whole series of "Sad Grown-Up Kevin McCallister" tweets and no one else liked them but I still think they rank among the best things I've ever written.
November 28, 2025 at 7:56 PM
8 years ago, I did a whole series of "Sad Grown-Up Kevin McCallister" tweets and no one else liked them but I still think they rank among the best things I've ever written.
Starting an underground fight club where we just argue about seltzer
November 28, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Starting an underground fight club where we just argue about seltzer
Reposted by Lamont Price
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
November 27, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
Gonna have my assistant set up some fist fights with aging Hollywood tough guys
November 28, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Gonna have my assistant set up some fist fights with aging Hollywood tough guys
Uber driver just ripped ASS. Smell like boiled butt in this Honda Accord Hybrid
November 28, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Uber driver just ripped ASS. Smell like boiled butt in this Honda Accord Hybrid
Reposted by Lamont Price
Let me log off this app. Cause I read something else when I saw the title of that book.
We raise our library voices to celebrate our Indigenous neighbors 💜
How wonderful to exist alongside Indigenous Peoples! You have always been here, you are still here. Celebrate & support them: their stories, history, community, art, food ✨
Thankful for you, we celebrate you today & every day 🧡
How wonderful to exist alongside Indigenous Peoples! You have always been here, you are still here. Celebrate & support them: their stories, history, community, art, food ✨
Thankful for you, we celebrate you today & every day 🧡
November 27, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Let me log off this app. Cause I read something else when I saw the title of that book.
When we saw Rocky with this robot we knew he was about to go broke
November 28, 2025 at 1:28 AM
When we saw Rocky with this robot we knew he was about to go broke
Reposted by Lamont Price
Best theory ever!
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
November 27, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Best theory ever!
Reposted by Lamont Price
This...this might could work??? Your mind. 🤯😳
November 27, 2025 at 10:02 PM
This...this might could work??? Your mind. 🤯😳
The slow sipping is back
November 27, 2025 at 9:20 PM
The slow sipping is back
BARRY HOROWITZ!!!
Post something random or you’ll have an awful December
November 27, 2025 at 9:18 PM
BARRY HOROWITZ!!!
Reposted by Lamont Price
Post something random or you’ll have an awful December
November 27, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Post something random or you’ll have an awful December
Reposted by Lamont Price
This belongs in a museum
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
November 27, 2025 at 8:36 PM
This belongs in a museum
Reposted by Lamont Price
THIS.
IS.
GENIUS.
IS.
GENIUS.
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
November 27, 2025 at 8:45 PM
THIS.
IS.
GENIUS.
IS.
GENIUS.
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
November 27, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Home Alone came out almost exactly 2 months after Goodfellas so I prefer to think Tommy never really got whacked. The hit was a front. He was just renamed Harry and sent into witness protection to work as a plumber in Winnetka IL. But he just couldn't fight that itch
Post something random or you'll have an awful December
November 27, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Post something random or you'll have an awful December
Reposted by Lamont Price
I know that Cheryl Hines is married to RFK Jr but my brain has never really been able to accept it as reality it feels like learning that Ronald McDonald is married to Daisy Duck it’s like what do you mean
November 27, 2025 at 4:25 AM
I know that Cheryl Hines is married to RFK Jr but my brain has never really been able to accept it as reality it feels like learning that Ronald McDonald is married to Daisy Duck it’s like what do you mean
Oh you ain't playing around
November 27, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Oh you ain't playing around
Reposted by Lamont Price
Guys, twist ending, I've MET Mr. Fantasy and didn't even know
November 27, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Guys, twist ending, I've MET Mr. Fantasy and didn't even know
I wonder if struggle plates will make their way over to Bluesky
November 27, 2025 at 7:18 PM
I wonder if struggle plates will make their way over to Bluesky
If this is Second Chance/Boys Will Be Boys it's one of most hilarious premises and rebrands ever
November 27, 2025 at 7:15 PM
If this is Second Chance/Boys Will Be Boys it's one of most hilarious premises and rebrands ever
Reposted by Lamont Price
Smokey looking like he's here to collect that money you owe him
November 27, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Smokey looking like he's here to collect that money you owe him