Ebenezer Spooge
@mallemaroking.bsky.social
Chaotic Muppet, big-boned and fae
Married dude living in Philly. I like lifting weights, video games, tattoos, and nature. Always down to make new friends. Orange advocate (the fruit, not the person).
Married dude living in Philly. I like lifting weights, video games, tattoos, and nature. Always down to make new friends. Orange advocate (the fruit, not the person).
Pinned
When this is all over I’m getting Chinese food
Rewarding myself for slaughtering leg day with one (1) seasonal showerpoppers
November 30, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Rewarding myself for slaughtering leg day with one (1) seasonal showerpoppers
“I didn’t recognize you with pants on”
— a member of my local Pokémon Go community greeting me for a Lugia raid
(He clarified that he meant I’m almost always in shorts but the damage was done)
— a member of my local Pokémon Go community greeting me for a Lugia raid
(He clarified that he meant I’m almost always in shorts but the damage was done)
November 30, 2025 at 2:44 PM
“I didn’t recognize you with pants on”
— a member of my local Pokémon Go community greeting me for a Lugia raid
(He clarified that he meant I’m almost always in shorts but the damage was done)
— a member of my local Pokémon Go community greeting me for a Lugia raid
(He clarified that he meant I’m almost always in shorts but the damage was done)
As is seasonal tradition, I will once again declare: WOULD.
November 30, 2025 at 12:31 AM
As is seasonal tradition, I will once again declare: WOULD.
Pot pie leftovers are a next level thing after a solid chest/back lift.
November 29, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Pot pie leftovers are a next level thing after a solid chest/back lift.
My husband has had hiccups for over half an hour. Is it more merciful to try to scare them out of him by saying a want a divorce, or to let them lift on their own?
November 29, 2025 at 1:37 AM
My husband has had hiccups for over half an hour. Is it more merciful to try to scare them out of him by saying a want a divorce, or to let them lift on their own?
I have styled my name for the spirited season, yes.
I have styled my name for the spooky season, yes
November 29, 2025 at 1:32 AM
I have styled my name for the spirited season, yes.
We’ve literally never made pot pies before but also please come to our restaurant
November 27, 2025 at 10:28 PM
We’ve literally never made pot pies before but also please come to our restaurant
I think it is close
November 27, 2025 at 3:07 AM
I think it is close
No no, I did just like the instructions said and went bleurghghghg all over myself
November 26, 2025 at 6:52 PM
No no, I did just like the instructions said and went bleurghghghg all over myself
Horny but for a good snowstorm
November 26, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Horny but for a good snowstorm
Found a “Best of Andy Williams Christmas” video last night and let me tell you it was a fucking fever dream
November 26, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Found a “Best of Andy Williams Christmas” video last night and let me tell you it was a fucking fever dream
Need more necklaces. Need to adorn myself with more pendants, amulets, talismans, and gems.
November 26, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Need more necklaces. Need to adorn myself with more pendants, amulets, talismans, and gems.
Allowing myself to listen to “Christmas Portrait” a few days early and sob in my car, as a treat.
November 21, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Allowing myself to listen to “Christmas Portrait” a few days early and sob in my car, as a treat.
No regrets for sauntering into Cost Plus World Market thirty minutes before they closed tonight and acting like I was on the final run of Supermarket Sweep.
November 21, 2025 at 1:41 AM
No regrets for sauntering into Cost Plus World Market thirty minutes before they closed tonight and acting like I was on the final run of Supermarket Sweep.
If you are reading this, I am your grandmother.
November 19, 2025 at 3:27 AM
If you are reading this, I am your grandmother.
Might solve a mystery
Or rewrite history
Or rewrite history
November 18, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Might solve a mystery
Or rewrite history
Or rewrite history
Wild Area Day 2: There Will Be Garchomps
November 17, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Wild Area Day 2: There Will Be Garchomps
Happy BFG (Big Fuckin’ Garchomp) day to all who celebrate
November 16, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Happy BFG (Big Fuckin’ Garchomp) day to all who celebrate
Wild Area Day 1: Hundos and Shinies
November 15, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Wild Area Day 1: Hundos and Shinies
This is peak physical form
November 13, 2025 at 2:30 PM
This is peak physical form
I gotta get myself a good full-body massage or something soon. Every muscle group I’ve hit at the gym this week is sore as heckin’ heck and I want it all kneaded the fuck out.
November 13, 2025 at 2:16 AM
I gotta get myself a good full-body massage or something soon. Every muscle group I’ve hit at the gym this week is sore as heckin’ heck and I want it all kneaded the fuck out.
Early frontrunner for 2026 new year’s resolution: huge tits
November 11, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Early frontrunner for 2026 new year’s resolution: huge tits
I have a ridiculous cold resistance modifier; you’re gonna have to do better than that, Old Man Winter
November 11, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I have a ridiculous cold resistance modifier; you’re gonna have to do better than that, Old Man Winter
This is all I wanna do some nights
November 9, 2025 at 12:08 AM
This is all I wanna do some nights
I HAVE DISCOVERED THE SECRET CHEETOS
November 7, 2025 at 10:41 PM
I HAVE DISCOVERED THE SECRET CHEETOS