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🔥Master Sarge🔥

@mastersarge.bsky.social

260 followers 250 following 670 posts

The gay/kinky (Fat, Bear, BDSM, Furry, Pup) hedonist Hellhound King. Ancient warped bastard trying to make sense of a world gone fucky. AuDHD, Demon, Musician, DJ, Comedian, Master/Daddy. Speaks in dark sarcasm. ALL nazis must DIE! ☠️ NSFW 18+♾️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇦🇲🇽♀️#BLM

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · Sep 25

Don't let small-minded people & petty bullshit get you down. Don't hurt anyone, be kind, be yourself, & live a life you're proud of! 💚

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 2h

Husband: "If you were an ice cream flavor, what flavor would you be?"

Me: "Today? Ammonia & Razor Blade Murder Munch."

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 8h

To be clear...

I don't like being angry. I don't like confrontation. My dark side makes Me ill. I'm not proud of it. However...

...scamming/robbing the elderly, disabled, unknowing, etc is so low it forfeits the rights to My patience & decency.

Fuck all the way off and leave us alone.

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 9h

All fight, no flight.

a close up of a werewolf with its mouth open and teeth .

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 9h

We were homeless for 2 years. We sacrificed and bled to have a roof over our heads. I have no mercy for people who try to rob the innocent and vulnerable.

I snapped, shit down his neck, and chased him off with a hammer.

Don't come to My door and try to rob Me.

a black and white photo of a wolf with the words `` this brings out the worst in me '' written below it .

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 9h

The mortgage scam people, who hand out fake court summons with a "stop foreclosure" if you send them $15k, came onto My property while I was outside working.

They left shit before. We've called our bank to confirm it's a scam, & reported them.

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 13h

It's okay to set boundaries and care for my mental and physical well-being. I don't always have to "take one for the team". My needs matter.

Still learning to understand and accept this.

💚

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 1d

Despite My nagging feelings that I'm unforgivably terrible at socializing & communicating, I'm extremely grateful & happy to have friends & spend time with them. Thank you for wanting Me in your lives, & putting up with My weirdness & limitations. I love and appreciate you with all My heart. 💚

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 5d

Tonight I realized...

I never need to see Guy Fieri ever again.

*drives right past Flavortown*

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 5d

'When David Brain breeds like that, there's no comin' back.'

--Master Sarge on the death of his Father

a stuffed monkey wearing a white hat with a k on it

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 5d

👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽💯

Introvert Problems @introvertproblems.bsky.social · 5d

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 5d

*reads what he said, nodding in agreement* Bang on! He's got my vote!

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 6d

Waking up with a migraine paints the world around you with a generous top coat of razor-studded shit.

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 7d

Okay, I don't normally take pictures of food like a teenage influencer, BUT...

Look at this chimkin, bacon, club wrap! *forces your head closer* LOOK AT IT!!!

Fucking gorgeous! Gordon Ramsay would high-five my ball sack! Simple, local, honest, rustic food made by & for stupid people. #SexOnAPlate

The cross-section of a perfectly constructed chicken, bacon, club wrap. Sex on a plate.

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 7d

You're fatter than ever, pup! Much bigger and softer than your last pics. And your fat pad is massive! Keep gorging and wallowing in pleasure, fatso! Bigger! 😍

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Reposted by 🔥Master Sarge🔥

The Onion @theonion.com · 8d

Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately https://theonion.com/nation-s-indigenous-people-confirm-they-don-t-need-spec-1839033177/

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 8d

This country went to shit the moment white people arrived. The only thing that's gonna "make it great again" is an asteroid.

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 8d

#IndigenousPeoplesDay #FuckColumbus

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 9d

1987, just out of H.S. I was a wild punk, always doing crazy shit. Was in a convenience store where a girl from my class was working. I barely knew her. She had just gotten a brand new car for graduation. She asked me if I wanted to take it for a spin.

"You trust me?"

"I've always trusted you."

🥹

WholesomeMemes @wholesomememe.bsky.social · 9d

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 11d

Free speech price increase imminent.

MXC

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 12d

🥹💚

15/10 Foundation @15outof10.org · 12d

This is Simon. He was sitting in an Arkansas shelter with double cherry eye. Thankfully, one of our rescue partners was able to pull him. He had surgery in early September, and was adopted a short time later! He is currently training to be a service dog ❤️‍🩹

a brown and white pup, Simon, stands on a concrete floor and looks up at us. he has a cone around his neck, and is wearing a blue lead. his eyes each have a red cherry.

a closer view of the brown and white pup, Simon, as he splays out on a red checkered blanket atop a vet table. his cherry eyes are large, and obstruct his vision.

the brown and white pup is surrounded by three humans - his new family! they are standing together on the front porch steps of their new home.

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 13d

Some sagely advice from an ancient Demon...

Don't think twice about fucking over the system, because they sure as shit won't think twice about fucking YOU over!

You won't win a rigged game if you play by the rules. Get yours. By any means necessary.

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 13d

😋

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 14d

you're welcome, My fat pet. *grins wickedly* 😈

🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 14d

H: Which one do you want?!
M: FOR WHAT?! To throw at a wedding? To make corn hole bags with?! I know it makes sense in YOUR head, because you know what you're talking about, but I need you to use more words to explain to Me WHY I'M CHOOSING RICE!

(tiger of few words talking to his AuDHD Bear. lol)😆

a brown dog is sitting on a blanket and looking at the camera with the words `` wait what ? ''

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🔥Master Sarge🔥 @mastersarge.bsky.social · 14d

Living Room. 8:30pm

Husband: You want brown rice or jasmine?
Me: What are you talking about?
H: "Do you want me to make brown rice or jasmine?"
M: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I NEED CONTEXT! Jasmine from Aladdin? Are you making it NOW? We just ate! I NEED MORE INFORMATION!

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