Matt Green
@mattgreencomedy.com
Comedian, satirist, writer, actor
SEE ME LIVE ON TOUR THIS AUTUMN! https://www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-tickets-adp1421297
SEE ME LIVE ON TOUR THIS AUTUMN! https://www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-tickets-adp1421297
Pinned
Reposted by Matt Green
Saw that @mattgreencomedy.com at Tototototn last night and loved it. You’re on Bluesky, you’d love it too - find him in Liverpool if you’re northern or Brighton if you’re that way.
November 23, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Saw that @mattgreencomedy.com at Tototototn last night and loved it. You’re on Bluesky, you’d love it too - find him in Liverpool if you’re northern or Brighton if you’re that way.
Reposted by Matt Green
Had lots of much needed laughs, thank you!
Can't help with Liverpool but I will tell my Leeds friends and family to come along.
Can't help with Liverpool but I will tell my Leeds friends and family to come along.
A really enjoyable show at the Attic in Southampton (or Totton) tonight. Thank you to everyone there! Can’t believe I only have 4 shows left now - next week I’m in Liverpool, Leeds, Guildford and Brighton…
November 23, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Had lots of much needed laughs, thank you!
Can't help with Liverpool but I will tell my Leeds friends and family to come along.
Can't help with Liverpool but I will tell my Leeds friends and family to come along.
Reposted by Matt Green
Got jaw ache from laughing so much. Loved the show.
November 23, 2025 at 9:58 AM
Got jaw ache from laughing so much. Loved the show.
Reposted by Matt Green
Really funny show … catch him while you can!
A really enjoyable show at the Attic in Southampton (or Totton) tonight. Thank you to everyone there! Can’t believe I only have 4 shows left now - next week I’m in Liverpool, Leeds, Guildford and Brighton…
November 22, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Really funny show … catch him while you can!
Reposted by Matt Green
Had a great evening watching @mattgreencomedy.com live. Worth doing if you get the chance – the live show has content that you won’t see online. And if you have concerns about that, they are definitely not legitimate.
November 22, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Had a great evening watching @mattgreencomedy.com live. Worth doing if you get the chance – the live show has content that you won’t see online. And if you have concerns about that, they are definitely not legitimate.
Best backstage toilet I’ve seen for a while…
November 22, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Best backstage toilet I’ve seen for a while…
A really enjoyable show at the Attic in Southampton (or Totton) tonight. Thank you to everyone there! Can’t believe I only have 4 shows left now - next week I’m in Liverpool, Leeds, Guildford and Brighton…
November 22, 2025 at 10:02 PM
A really enjoyable show at the Attic in Southampton (or Totton) tonight. Thank you to everyone there! Can’t believe I only have 4 shows left now - next week I’m in Liverpool, Leeds, Guildford and Brighton…
My decision not to invest in a TNT Sports subscription is very much paying off right now
November 22, 2025 at 10:51 AM
My decision not to invest in a TNT Sports subscription is very much paying off right now
I’m heading to Southampton tonight for my tour show - 8pm start at the Attic. Come along for some satirical laughs (and guaranteed no mention of the Ashes) theatticsouthampton.co.uk/products/mat...
Matt Green Stand up Comedy Tour- Saturday 22nd November
Matt Green stand up comedy tour in Southampton Saturday 22nd November online comedy star Matt returns with brand new jokes about the state of politics
theatticsouthampton.co.uk
November 22, 2025 at 10:21 AM
I’m heading to Southampton tonight for my tour show - 8pm start at the Attic. Come along for some satirical laughs (and guaranteed no mention of the Ashes) theatticsouthampton.co.uk/products/mat...
I still love Ben Stokes and this team but dear God they need to work out how to bat better for the rest of the series. Unlike teams from the past I don’t think this means they are completely doomed. I believe they can fight back but they will need to do it the (very) hard way now. #Ashes
November 22, 2025 at 9:53 AM
I still love Ben Stokes and this team but dear God they need to work out how to bat better for the rest of the series. Unlike teams from the past I don’t think this means they are completely doomed. I believe they can fight back but they will need to do it the (very) hard way now. #Ashes
As usual before I checked my phone this morning I ran through a number of possible scenarios in my head. I try to imagine the worst so the reality isn’t so bad. None of them were as bad as this. #Ashes
November 22, 2025 at 9:41 AM
As usual before I checked my phone this morning I ran through a number of possible scenarios in my head. I try to imagine the worst so the reality isn’t so bad. None of them were as bad as this. #Ashes
Having fun with a woman from Norway at The 99 Club…
November 21, 2025 at 11:27 AM
Having fun with a woman from Norway at The 99 Club…
Reposted by Matt Green
🚨NEW EPISODE🚨
Labour’s controversial asylum plans have sparked fury and it’s not clear they’ll even work. @zoegrunewald.bsky.social, @mattgreencomedy.com, @jasonhazeley.bsky.social and @rostaylor.bsky.social discuss the fallout in our latest episode ➡️ linktr.ee/ohgodwhatnow...
Labour’s controversial asylum plans have sparked fury and it’s not clear they’ll even work. @zoegrunewald.bsky.social, @mattgreencomedy.com, @jasonhazeley.bsky.social and @rostaylor.bsky.social discuss the fallout in our latest episode ➡️ linktr.ee/ohgodwhatnow...
November 21, 2025 at 8:17 AM
🚨NEW EPISODE🚨
Labour’s controversial asylum plans have sparked fury and it’s not clear they’ll even work. @zoegrunewald.bsky.social, @mattgreencomedy.com, @jasonhazeley.bsky.social and @rostaylor.bsky.social discuss the fallout in our latest episode ➡️ linktr.ee/ohgodwhatnow...
Labour’s controversial asylum plans have sparked fury and it’s not clear they’ll even work. @zoegrunewald.bsky.social, @mattgreencomedy.com, @jasonhazeley.bsky.social and @rostaylor.bsky.social discuss the fallout in our latest episode ➡️ linktr.ee/ohgodwhatnow...
My imaginary friend did this too when I was about 7
Elon Musk’s AI chatbot Grok ranks him as world history’s greatest human
Elon Musk’s AI chatbot Grok ranks him as world history’s greatest human
Elon Musk’s AI chatbot Grok ranks him as world history’s greatest human
www.independent.co.uk
November 21, 2025 at 8:13 AM
My imaginary friend did this too when I was about 7
Reposted by Matt Green
*Wakes up, checks the cricket*
a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a wooden wall and says `` here we go again '' .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a wooden wall and says `` here we go again '' .
media.tenor.com
November 21, 2025 at 7:24 AM
*Wakes up, checks the cricket*
I see the world has given up on subtle metaphors now
Negotiations at the Cop30 climate conference in Brazil were halted after a fire broke out in one of the conference venues.
Thousands of people were evacuated on Thursday after the blaze in a pavilion, with videos showing people running and shouting: “It’s a fire, get out”
Thousands of people were evacuated on Thursday after the blaze in a pavilion, with videos showing people running and shouting: “It’s a fire, get out”
Fire halts Cop30 climate talks as thousands evacuated
www.thetimes.com
November 21, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I see the world has given up on subtle metaphors now
I’m just a boy on a train reminding you that you only have 5 more chances to see my tour show! Southampton this Saturday then Leeds, Liverpool, Guildford and Brighton next week. Book early, book often! www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-t...
November 20, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I’m just a boy on a train reminding you that you only have 5 more chances to see my tour show! Southampton this Saturday then Leeds, Liverpool, Guildford and Brighton next week. Book early, book often! www.livenation.co.uk/matt-green-t...
Reposted by Matt Green
I thought this was going to turn into a story needing its own True Crime Netflix series, but no.
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
'We invited a homeless man for dinner - he stayed for 45 years'
The man was only meant to stay for a day.
metro.co.uk
November 18, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I thought this was going to turn into a story needing its own True Crime Netflix series, but no.
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
Reposted by Matt Green
🥳 We’re recording Episode FIVE HUNDRED this week – so let’s have your questions on the theme of birthdays, anniversaries and generally being around for a long time.
🎂 Submit here – free to read: www.patreon.com/posts/its-ep...
🎂 Submit here – free to read: www.patreon.com/posts/its-ep...
November 18, 2025 at 11:52 AM
🥳 We’re recording Episode FIVE HUNDRED this week – so let’s have your questions on the theme of birthdays, anniversaries and generally being around for a long time.
🎂 Submit here – free to read: www.patreon.com/posts/its-ep...
🎂 Submit here – free to read: www.patreon.com/posts/its-ep...
Reposted by Matt Green
We have forcibly installed the Stupid Machine in all of your homes but, of course, under no circumstances should you trust the Stupid Machine.
November 18, 2025 at 9:45 AM
We have forcibly installed the Stupid Machine in all of your homes but, of course, under no circumstances should you trust the Stupid Machine.
If you're looking for something fun to do with friends or colleagues this Christmas then the comedy club I run has a Black Friday sale today! 10% off all Xmas meal packages with the promo code BLACKFRIDAY10 - get a 2 course meal & comedy show starting from £60!
www.99clubcomedy.com/packages-typ...
www.99clubcomedy.com/packages-typ...
November 18, 2025 at 9:55 AM
If you're looking for something fun to do with friends or colleagues this Christmas then the comedy club I run has a Black Friday sale today! 10% off all Xmas meal packages with the promo code BLACKFRIDAY10 - get a 2 course meal & comedy show starting from £60!
www.99clubcomedy.com/packages-typ...
www.99clubcomedy.com/packages-typ...
A fairly chilling sentence to read in a government statement.
November 17, 2025 at 4:28 PM
A fairly chilling sentence to read in a government statement.
Reposted by Matt Green
Big very scary announcement that I never thought I'd have to make so I put nice music and a relaxing nostalgic background on it for you.
November 17, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Big very scary announcement that I never thought I'd have to make so I put nice music and a relaxing nostalgic background on it for you.