Chris King
northernwrites.bsky.social
Chris King
@northernwrites.bsky.social
Former knife swallower

Unlikely to be the Chris King you are looking for. Unless I am. Then I am currently unable to take your call.
Does this mean they get lunch back?
An OpenAI survey of 9,000 workers at 100 companies: it saves workers ~40 to 60 minutes per day on average for professional tasks; OpenAI has 1M business clients (Shirin Ghaffary/Bloomberg)

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December 8, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Martin Parr was brilliant. The seaside stuff was perfect.
December 7, 2025 at 2:39 PM
Boy was up all night. 12, so manageable, but a bit delirious at 4am. So I am self medicating with kinder Bueno gut spread from Aldi and coffee. I am going to watch 16 candles and just lay on the sofa today.
December 7, 2025 at 10:49 AM
I have no problem with time. My birthdate is closer to the Suez Crisis than Kier Starmer's recognition, but I stumbled on the John Candy doc - and how has it been over 30 years. How? I still think of his films. Cried a tired tear or two.
December 7, 2025 at 10:40 AM
The absolute state of people in town. Day drinkers struggling to hold their sauce.
December 6, 2025 at 7:29 PM
I remember hearing Optimo play this and it made my night.
Just blocked someone for a) saying McCartney’s Temporary Secretary is the worst song ever recorded and b) Delivering this information with a “C’mon, we all know it” false confidence.
December 6, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Watch out, Beadle's about!
A perfectly NORMAL picture of the world's GREATEST president (who is also the HEALTHIEST man alive) picking up his very REAL peace award.
December 6, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Is Platini still doing porridge? Can he save FIFA by being less corrupt?
December 5, 2025 at 7:34 PM
There are some absolute dogshit groups
December 5, 2025 at 7:28 PM
A dick from the sticks as they are otherwise known
December 5, 2025 at 1:38 PM
How many Telegraph writers actually believe what they write?
December 5, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Netflix: "we will cancel your silly little programme about the Tour de France"

Also Netflix: "we will buy all of the cycling coverage in the UK and bump up our subscription rates"
Breaking news: Netflix has agreed an $83bn takeover of the studios and streaming businesses of Warner Bros Discovery, in a deal set to reshape Hollywood and create a new global entertainment powerhouse. on.ft.com/3MGC59K
December 5, 2025 at 12:55 PM
Living the dream tonight. Currently watching someone process the network configuration of an AWS migration.

Live streamed from someone's living room.
December 4, 2025 at 8:24 PM
You know when you eat rice, and it feels like a grain has reverse Uno'd up tour schnoz?
December 4, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Normalise dressing like a dirty old man again (without the dirty, bit)
Classic 70s gentle comedy with #WilfredPickles #IreneHandl

♥️ FOR THE LOVE OF ADA (1971) 7pm co-stars #JackSmethurst #BarbaraMitchell 'The Journey' #TPTVsubtitles
December 4, 2025 at 5:14 PM
On what board of the 9D chess game is...

"I was racist, but so were a lot of now cancelled comedians"?
December 4, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Things that age me:

- I call it the Milk Cup
- I reference Doris Stokes when talking about the dead
- I say "good as gold" and "all that old jazz"
- I look fucking haggard
December 4, 2025 at 2:02 PM
At 50, I am possibly older than Bramble in this picture. The past was a much older time
Unsolicited Git Pic
December 4, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Just saw a banner headline on Sky news that Reform has received their highest donation from a living person. Does that mean a dead person has donated more?

Did Doris Stokes handle the transaction?

"Is there a Cresus among us? Nigel is trying to reach you"
December 4, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Oh boo hoo. People got out with rash shots... ah, England get to 325 IN A DAY. There were times when we barely hit 325 in a series against Australia.

Rolling cricket analysis is a fool's errand.
December 4, 2025 at 11:38 AM
Oh FFS
December 4, 2025 at 9:46 AM
There is a terribly sycophantic person in the TMS box that appears to be employed to laugh at everything the commentators say.
December 4, 2025 at 8:21 AM
My hotel or the weirdest greyhound stadium ever?
December 3, 2025 at 9:25 PM
"Oh god, my Spotify Unwrapped has been overrun by Tabitha and her listening choices"

Balls it has. You just put on kids tunes to shut them up while you neck wine and smoke tabs.
December 3, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Going to be really candid here. I am having the kind of week, month, year at work where if I was not on sertraline, I genuinely don't know what kind of mess I would currently be in.

Knowing I needed help, getting help and having that help managed with chemicals saved me. It could help you.
December 3, 2025 at 11:53 AM