Alex Simmons 🪼
@ohalexsimmons.bsky.social
Comedian | Writer
✴︎
As seen on The Late Show | Amazon | NY1 | Roku | WBAI Radio
✴︎
• Theater Kid
• Trekkie🖖🏼
• Ƒauxtographer
• Occasional Agitator
• dreamer in the City that Never Sleeps
• Jew
• Playwright
allmylinks.com/alex-r-simmons
He/him
✴︎
As seen on The Late Show | Amazon | NY1 | Roku | WBAI Radio
✴︎
• Theater Kid
• Trekkie🖖🏼
• Ƒauxtographer
• Occasional Agitator
• dreamer in the City that Never Sleeps
• Jew
• Playwright
allmylinks.com/alex-r-simmons
He/him
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
Merry X-Mas!! 🦸🦸🏽♀️🦸🏿♂️
December 19, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Merry X-Mas!! 🦸🦸🏽♀️🦸🏿♂️
📸 Fujifilm X
🔎 30mm Macro
✨ ƒ/2.8
🔎 30mm Macro
✨ ƒ/2.8
December 17, 2025 at 2:07 PM
📸 Fujifilm X
🔎 30mm Macro
✨ ƒ/2.8
🔎 30mm Macro
✨ ƒ/2.8
What are you reflecting on this holiday season?
📸 Fujifilm X
🔎 30mm Macro
✨ ƒ/4
📸 Fujifilm X
🔎 30mm Macro
✨ ƒ/4
December 17, 2025 at 3:09 AM
What are you reflecting on this holiday season?
📸 Fujifilm X
🔎 30mm Macro
✨ ƒ/4
📸 Fujifilm X
🔎 30mm Macro
✨ ƒ/4
What’s the biggest rodent you’ve ever seen in person?
December 16, 2025 at 12:58 AM
What’s the biggest rodent you’ve ever seen in person?
Happy Hanukkah.
December 15, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Happy Hanukkah.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
so if you personally pay donald trump you get a fast track to a green card
trumpcard.gov is live and the million dollar fees are all referred to as “gifts” or “contributions” to an undisclosed party lol
December 14, 2025 at 3:08 PM
so if you personally pay donald trump you get a fast track to a green card
If AI just remixes work from other people aren’t the artists and writers the architects of AI?
December 12, 2025 at 4:05 AM
If AI just remixes work from other people aren’t the artists and writers the architects of AI?
The smarter move is to edge out moderate Democrats and shift the ground under Hakeem Jeffries then to blow your momentum on trying to unseat him.
The current caucus would just pick another establishment Democrat to replace Jeffries. Getting progressives in more seats builds more political power.
The current caucus would just pick another establishment Democrat to replace Jeffries. Getting progressives in more seats builds more political power.
Lander Will Run for House Seat With Mamdani’s Support
www.nytimes.com
December 12, 2025 at 12:55 AM
The smarter move is to edge out moderate Democrats and shift the ground under Hakeem Jeffries then to blow your momentum on trying to unseat him.
The current caucus would just pick another establishment Democrat to replace Jeffries. Getting progressives in more seats builds more political power.
The current caucus would just pick another establishment Democrat to replace Jeffries. Getting progressives in more seats builds more political power.
Things I like about the new job I’m moving to within my current company.
- I communicate with people in all sorts of departments. I’m not just grinding things out in a corner
- Meetings give me some insight into deeper workings within the company, I feel like I’m in a roomful of decision makers.
- I communicate with people in all sorts of departments. I’m not just grinding things out in a corner
- Meetings give me some insight into deeper workings within the company, I feel like I’m in a roomful of decision makers.
December 12, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Things I like about the new job I’m moving to within my current company.
- I communicate with people in all sorts of departments. I’m not just grinding things out in a corner
- Meetings give me some insight into deeper workings within the company, I feel like I’m in a roomful of decision makers.
- I communicate with people in all sorts of departments. I’m not just grinding things out in a corner
- Meetings give me some insight into deeper workings within the company, I feel like I’m in a roomful of decision makers.
They may have given Barry the award for a made up reason, but it was still a *real* Nobel Peace Prize.
And it’s a wonderful flex on the bloated orange baby.
And it’s a wonderful flex on the bloated orange baby.
December 10, 2025 at 7:08 PM
They may have given Barry the award for a made up reason, but it was still a *real* Nobel Peace Prize.
And it’s a wonderful flex on the bloated orange baby.
And it’s a wonderful flex on the bloated orange baby.
Umm... I gotta Google "Gay panic."
December 9, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Umm... I gotta Google "Gay panic."
Good morning, would you like to talk about our Lord and Savior Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
December 9, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Good morning, would you like to talk about our Lord and Savior Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Gonna start saying "Oy vey" once I hit my 40s.
December 9, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Gonna start saying "Oy vey" once I hit my 40s.
📸 Pentax WG-8
📍 Cathedral of St. John the Devine
📍 Cathedral of St. John the Devine
December 9, 2025 at 2:54 PM
📸 Pentax WG-8
📍 Cathedral of St. John the Devine
📍 Cathedral of St. John the Devine
I don’t wanna hear jack shit about small government from a Republican ever again. Your president is sticking his mushroom shaped dick into every private business matter he can.
David Ellison Reportedly Promised Trump ‘Sweeping Changes’ at CNN If Paramount Takes Over Warner Bros.
David Ellison Reportedly Promised Trump ‘Sweeping Changes’ at CNN If Paramount Takes Over Warner Bros.
David Ellison has reportedly told officials that he would implement "sweeping changes" at CNN should he succeed in acquiring Warner Bros..
The post David Ellison Reportedly Promised Trump ‘Sweeping Changes’ at CNN If Paramount Takes Over Warner Bros. first appeared on Mediaite.
dlvr.it
December 9, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I don’t wanna hear jack shit about small government from a Republican ever again. Your president is sticking his mushroom shaped dick into every private business matter he can.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
It’s way past time for every WH reporter to speak out to Trump’s face when he’s insulting female reporters. Is your access so critical that you’ll allow your colleagues to be abused?
December 9, 2025 at 2:06 AM
It’s way past time for every WH reporter to speak out to Trump’s face when he’s insulting female reporters. Is your access so critical that you’ll allow your colleagues to be abused?
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
I lost my job, there are no toys on the shelves, and the only hospital within 100 miles of my house just closed. But at least I know that now there won't be any non-binary characters on Paw Patrol.
December 9, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I lost my job, there are no toys on the shelves, and the only hospital within 100 miles of my house just closed. But at least I know that now there won't be any non-binary characters on Paw Patrol.
It’s coming in the mail tomorrow. I’m so stoked!
I love pancake lenses!
I love pancake lenses!
December 8, 2025 at 5:16 PM
It’s coming in the mail tomorrow. I’m so stoked!
I love pancake lenses!
I love pancake lenses!
I always tell myself I’m going to play a different race when I boot up Dawn of War, then I play Space Marines again.
December 7, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I always tell myself I’m going to play a different race when I boot up Dawn of War, then I play Space Marines again.
I’m so New York, the “What’s your take?” guy doesn’t need to interview me because he already knows my take.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
December 7, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I’m so New York, the “What’s your take?” guy doesn’t need to interview me because he already knows my take.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
And with the last tear of the tape, the last gift is locked and loaded under the tree.
Side effect of marrying a fantastic woman who happens to not be Jewish is an interfaith house. I love sparking the Menorah, but lighting up the tree is fun too.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Side effect of marrying a fantastic woman who happens to not be Jewish is an interfaith house. I love sparking the Menorah, but lighting up the tree is fun too.
Merry Christmas everyone.
December 7, 2025 at 1:26 AM
And with the last tear of the tape, the last gift is locked and loaded under the tree.
Side effect of marrying a fantastic woman who happens to not be Jewish is an interfaith house. I love sparking the Menorah, but lighting up the tree is fun too.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Side effect of marrying a fantastic woman who happens to not be Jewish is an interfaith house. I love sparking the Menorah, but lighting up the tree is fun too.
Merry Christmas everyone.
Reposted by Alex Simmons 🪼
I don’t think night people get enough credit for adapting to a world run by day people
December 6, 2025 at 11:10 PM
I don’t think night people get enough credit for adapting to a world run by day people