Johnny Cans
@oldmatecans.bsky.social
he/him
The blackberry phone was the posters katana, a true masterpiece of form.
All opinions are personal, not professional.
postingcast.podbean.com for audio
The blackberry phone was the posters katana, a true masterpiece of form.
All opinions are personal, not professional.
postingcast.podbean.com for audio
Pinned
Johnny Cans
@oldmatecans.bsky.social
· Apr 23
Identity Crisis
Identity politics. It is, apparently, what is wrong with the left.
postingdad.medium.com
Ok, here's the long-thread of everything I've written about NZs right-wing anti-trans movement since February 2020.
Identity Crisis - Feb 13 2020 - The Free Speech lot are extremely bad faith, a new anti-trans group sounds a lot like white supremacism.
postingdad.medium.com/identity-cri...
Identity Crisis - Feb 13 2020 - The Free Speech lot are extremely bad faith, a new anti-trans group sounds a lot like white supremacism.
postingdad.medium.com/identity-cri...
I wonder how many kids were named Andrew in the UK each year in the last decade and whether there's a graph with some fascinating dips in it.
January 31, 2026 at 9:20 AM
I wonder how many kids were named Andrew in the UK each year in the last decade and whether there's a graph with some fascinating dips in it.
Glass Onion deserves a reappraisal, given that some folks thought it was a little over the top in how it depicted a billionaire and his clagnut hanger ons as craven, stupid, vicious monsters.
Glass Onion knew what they were doing when they were like "we have to make this billionaire use the wrong words trying to sound smart"
January 31, 2026 at 9:07 AM
Glass Onion deserves a reappraisal, given that some folks thought it was a little over the top in how it depicted a billionaire and his clagnut hanger ons as craven, stupid, vicious monsters.
Would you look at the size of those PAWBS
@oldmatecans.bsky.social has made me a cup of tea, but someone is in the way. And is now snoring quietly.
January 31, 2026 at 9:02 AM
Would you look at the size of those PAWBS
Good morning Europe, you won't believe what 4chan news has broken overnight
January 31, 2026 at 7:37 AM
Good morning Europe, you won't believe what 4chan news has broken overnight
NEW ZEALAND MENTIONED
Thiels backup country: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
His island manager went to NZ, possibly because his partner is a kiwi? www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
Lot of currency stuff in there so thousands of mentions of New Zealand.
Thiels backup country: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
His island manager went to NZ, possibly because his partner is a kiwi? www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
Lot of currency stuff in there so thousands of mentions of New Zealand.
January 31, 2026 at 6:38 AM
NEW ZEALAND MENTIONED
Thiels backup country: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
His island manager went to NZ, possibly because his partner is a kiwi? www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
Lot of currency stuff in there so thousands of mentions of New Zealand.
Thiels backup country: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
His island manager went to NZ, possibly because his partner is a kiwi? www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
Lot of currency stuff in there so thousands of mentions of New Zealand.
Imagine trying to explain this moot /pol/ Epstein shit to a normal human behind. Someone who the internet is where they do some shopping. You'd sound completely fucking insane.
January 31, 2026 at 5:37 AM
Imagine trying to explain this moot /pol/ Epstein shit to a normal human behind. Someone who the internet is where they do some shopping. You'd sound completely fucking insane.
Shitposting through the 2010s was actually preparation for this decade so who's wasTING THEIR TIME ON THE INTERNET NOW MOM.
January 31, 2026 at 5:35 AM
Shitposting through the 2010s was actually preparation for this decade so who's wasTING THEIR TIME ON THE INTERNET NOW MOM.
Reposted by Johnny Cans
Musk has been spamming crap about SpaceX and Grok all day but now every single reply to any of his posts is someone calling him a pedophile. the stage has been set for something historic
January 31, 2026 at 1:49 AM
Musk has been spamming crap about SpaceX and Grok all day but now every single reply to any of his posts is someone calling him a pedophile. the stage has been set for something historic
Reposted by Johnny Cans
Has anyone found an Aotearoa New Zealand reference in the files that isn't that ghoul Thiel?
January 31, 2026 at 5:17 AM
Has anyone found an Aotearoa New Zealand reference in the files that isn't that ghoul Thiel?
Reposted by Johnny Cans
I hate that this is all just easy to piece together from this guy's poorly-spelled emails
January 31, 2026 at 4:55 AM
I hate that this is all just easy to piece together from this guy's poorly-spelled emails
It's lowtax's world, we're all just living in it.
January 31, 2026 at 4:48 AM
It's lowtax's world, we're all just living in it.
Man I need to log off this damn Internet
January 31, 2026 at 3:53 AM
Man I need to log off this damn Internet
Reposted by Johnny Cans
A Multnomah County jury has awarded more than $760,000 to our client Cider Riot owner Abram Goldman-Armstrong after finding defendants associated with the far-right group Patriot Prayer liable for a violent 2019 attack. Even though the justice system moves slowly, we will always stay the course.
January 31, 2026 at 2:10 AM
A Multnomah County jury has awarded more than $760,000 to our client Cider Riot owner Abram Goldman-Armstrong after finding defendants associated with the far-right group Patriot Prayer liable for a violent 2019 attack. Even though the justice system moves slowly, we will always stay the course.
Not being in the Epstein Files should be one of the mandatory bars you have to clear to operate in any sort of elected or appointed public role.
January 31, 2026 at 2:12 AM
Not being in the Epstein Files should be one of the mandatory bars you have to clear to operate in any sort of elected or appointed public role.
Bro really said "fuck my whakapapa, I'm white now"
The anti-woke vanguardists at NZ First have now taken to defending "our Judeo-Christian heritage" @altnamackin.bsky.social #nzpol
January 30, 2026 at 11:59 PM
Bro really said "fuck my whakapapa, I'm white now"
Reposted by Johnny Cans
Sluggo just sent me this and holy shit it is SO GOOD. His 82 year old mom just posted it to Facebook, in case you wonder if we had radicalized her yet. Chicago friends, please support the fuck outta these queers. @southernish.bsky.social I feel like you’ll love their vibe too
"Make Me Buy A Gun" live from Friends of Friends Recording in Chicago
YouTube video by The Devil Said Jump
youtu.be
January 30, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Sluggo just sent me this and holy shit it is SO GOOD. His 82 year old mom just posted it to Facebook, in case you wonder if we had radicalized her yet. Chicago friends, please support the fuck outta these queers. @southernish.bsky.social I feel like you’ll love their vibe too
I love a BAD movie review. They're much more fun than reviews of good movies.
🧵🧵🧵 I'll be collecting reviews of the "Melania" movie in this thread. 🧵🧵🧵
Variety:
"A Cheeseball Infomercial of Staggering Inertia"
Variety:
"A Cheeseball Infomercial of Staggering Inertia"
‘Melania’ Review: Brett Ratner’s First Lady Documentary Is a Cheeseball Infomercial of Staggering Inertia
There's no drama to Brett Ratner's cheeseball First Lady documentary, which should have been called "Day of the Living Tradwife."
variety.com
January 30, 2026 at 11:37 PM
I love a BAD movie review. They're much more fun than reviews of good movies.
Between this and the transphobes losing on multiple fronts in the UK and Europe, it's shaping up to be a really bad week for Hadley Freeman
Elon Musk, Jeffrey Epstein and Woody Allen on a Carribean island at Christmastime?
www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
January 30, 2026 at 11:15 PM
Between this and the transphobes losing on multiple fronts in the UK and Europe, it's shaping up to be a really bad week for Hadley Freeman
Reposted by Johnny Cans
STEPHEN MILLER: so you've gone through all of these files and made sure there's nothing incriminatory about Trump or his friends and associates, right
KASH PATEL: *standing in line at berghain dressed like the Ikea monkey* oh yeah definitely
KASH PATEL: *standing in line at berghain dressed like the Ikea monkey* oh yeah definitely
January 30, 2026 at 10:40 PM
STEPHEN MILLER: so you've gone through all of these files and made sure there's nothing incriminatory about Trump or his friends and associates, right
KASH PATEL: *standing in line at berghain dressed like the Ikea monkey* oh yeah definitely
KASH PATEL: *standing in line at berghain dressed like the Ikea monkey* oh yeah definitely
We should allow Britain to brexit this plane of existence.
Daily Express: NOW YOU MUST GIVE BRITAIN A PROPER BREXIT #TomorrowsPapersToday
January 30, 2026 at 10:41 PM
We should allow Britain to brexit this plane of existence.
That's my Mayor
Mamdani Targets ‘Unusable’ AI Chatbot for Termination
Mamdani Targets ‘Unusable’ AI Chatbot for Termination
Reporting from The Markup and THE CITY exposed how the bot, touted by the Adams administration, repeatedly served up false and damaging information.
buff.ly
January 30, 2026 at 10:40 PM
That's my Mayor
I've been doing a Couch to 5k, the free Active one, relatively regularly since October. I hadn't really been exercising at all before that. The plan was to get myself fitter for Splore 2026. I now have nine runs left to do, and 19 days to do them.
January 30, 2026 at 7:44 PM
I've been doing a Couch to 5k, the free Active one, relatively regularly since October. I hadn't really been exercising at all before that. The plan was to get myself fitter for Splore 2026. I now have nine runs left to do, and 19 days to do them.
The reboot of My Name Is Earl is way too dark
Lets kill crab man
January 30, 2026 at 7:43 AM
The reboot of My Name Is Earl is way too dark