Pato
@patodeagua.bsky.social
Emergency Medicine attending and professor. Reverser of fortunes. #TeamNightShift #FOAMed #TeamLongSleeves #MedSky. He/Him. Posts mine, unless they're someone else's.
I'm so old I went to Wisconsin where are it was expected to read it in print! So glad to get a subscription!
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 29, 2025 at 2:43 PM
I'm so old I went to Wisconsin where are it was expected to read it in print! So glad to get a subscription!
It's really fucked that not one other reporter calls out this behavior. Or even simply asking the same question over and over. Or telling him that not one of them is stupid.
Q: Officials say the suspect in the DC shooting was vetted & it came up clean
TRUMP: He went cuckoo. He went nuts. There was no vetting
Q: Actually, your DOJ IG says there was thorough vetting of Afghans. So why blame Biden?
TRUMP: You're just asking questions because you're a stupid person
TRUMP: He went cuckoo. He went nuts. There was no vetting
Q: Actually, your DOJ IG says there was thorough vetting of Afghans. So why blame Biden?
TRUMP: You're just asking questions because you're a stupid person
November 28, 2025 at 12:58 AM
It's really fucked that not one other reporter calls out this behavior. Or even simply asking the same question over and over. Or telling him that not one of them is stupid.
Hey @cricutofficial.bsky.social, now's your time to shine
November 5, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Hey @cricutofficial.bsky.social, now's your time to shine
What's the going rate for this research? I can certainly write it up
RFK Jr. directs CDC to study alleged harms of offshore wind farms, Bloomberg News reports reut.rs/4hxHgEh
RFK Jr. directs CDC to study alleged harms of offshore wind farms, Bloomberg News reports
U.S. health secretary Robert Kennedy Jr. ordered the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention staff to probe the potential harms of offshore wind farms, Bloomberg News reported on Tuesday, citing people familiar with the matter.
reut.rs
October 28, 2025 at 8:02 PM
What's the going rate for this research? I can certainly write it up
Man, The Substance. A horror in real time.
October 25, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Man, The Substance. A horror in real time.
Hey @democrats.org, this is what we want. They are writing your campaign ads for you.
Thune: "If the Democrats had won the majority, they probably would've tried to nuke the filibuster. And then you'd have four new senators from Puerto Rico and DC, you'd have a packed Supreme Court, you'd have abortion on demand ... "
October 10, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Hey @democrats.org, this is what we want. They are writing your campaign ads for you.
Reposted by Pato
Yesterday's Tylenol press conference was at "inject bleach" levels of insanity, but it also revealed the plan for cancelling the MMR. Here's how I think this is going to go down.
open.substack.com/pub/rasmusse...
open.substack.com/pub/rasmusse...
The Poison Pill to End the MMR is Tylenol
If you think Tylenol is bad for babies, wait until you hear about rubella virus
open.substack.com
September 23, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Yesterday's Tylenol press conference was at "inject bleach" levels of insanity, but it also revealed the plan for cancelling the MMR. Here's how I think this is going to go down.
open.substack.com/pub/rasmusse...
open.substack.com/pub/rasmusse...
Reposted by Pato
under this language charlie kirk would not have been allowed to speak on clemson’s campus
"We stand firmly on the principles of the U.S. Constitution, including the protection of free speech. HOWEVER, that right does not extend to speech that incites harm OR UNDERMINES THE DIGNITY OF OTHERS."
Emphasis added because holy fuck
Emphasis added because holy fuck
![@ClemsonUniv on X: A statement from Clemson University: [image of statement]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:eppsmw5nfmdzhfeymtzd3xbe/bafkreid6n6w5ec7olzm2wahdjop6juf2tpvrean5lqesze2m7xtbpr2laa@jpeg)
September 16, 2025 at 11:47 AM
under this language charlie kirk would not have been allowed to speak on clemson’s campus
Reposted by Pato
belatedly realizing this whole kirk performative retribution is a dry run for the next guy
September 15, 2025 at 10:50 PM
belatedly realizing this whole kirk performative retribution is a dry run for the next guy
Reposted by Pato
Here it is. Please share it widely. I didn't do this because I wanted to be safe, but because I am determined not to lose my freedoms without a fight.
I'm doing this for you, America. Long live the bill of rights and fuck Charlie Kirk.
I'm doing this for you, America. Long live the bill of rights and fuck Charlie Kirk.
Charlie Kirk was a bad person and his death is cause for celebration, writes journalist Evan Urquhart.
Read our very special free speech edition of Assigned Media.
www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-new...
Read our very special free speech edition of Assigned Media.
www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-new...
Charlie Kirk is Dead. Here’s Why I’m Celebrating! — Assigned
It’s a wonderful thing to outlive a someone who spent his life working for your elimination. That's why I'm celebrating the death of Charlie Kirk.
www.assignedmedia.org
September 15, 2025 at 10:03 AM
Here it is. Please share it widely. I didn't do this because I wanted to be safe, but because I am determined not to lose my freedoms without a fight.
I'm doing this for you, America. Long live the bill of rights and fuck Charlie Kirk.
I'm doing this for you, America. Long live the bill of rights and fuck Charlie Kirk.
Professors are getting fired, Texans arrested and this "journalist" gets to post right through it.
September 15, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Professors are getting fired, Texans arrested and this "journalist" gets to post right through it.
Reposted by Pato
Crockett: Listen, Donald Trump is a piece of shit—we know that. But in a functioning democracy, he still wouldn’t be able to get away with this. He’s been able to get away with it because Republicans are complicit and—most importantly—the Supreme Court is complicit.
August 4, 2025 at 1:51 AM
Crockett: Listen, Donald Trump is a piece of shit—we know that. But in a functioning democracy, he still wouldn’t be able to get away with this. He’s been able to get away with it because Republicans are complicit and—most importantly—the Supreme Court is complicit.
This post made me log into "Run For Something" to get started. #LFG
New WSJ poll: The Democratic Party is 30 points under water with registered voters, considerably worse than the GOP (-11). www.wsj.com/politics/ele...
July 27, 2025 at 5:04 PM
This post made me log into "Run For Something" to get started. #LFG
Jesus Christ. This is not the way.
Trying to raise some money today to cover the rent for our campaign office :)
Reply to this with a screenshot of a donation receipt (any amount!) and I will reply with a photo of Heater!
secure.actblue.com/donate/abu-b...
Reply to this with a screenshot of a donation receipt (any amount!) and I will reply with a photo of Heater!
secure.actblue.com/donate/abu-b...
April 28, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Jesus Christ. This is not the way.
Reposted by Pato
I’m told this can’t win because it’s unpopular so the smart play is for Democrats to suck up to conservatives in order to win the votes of 9 bigots who don’t like spray tan.
BREAKING: 36k people showed up in LA for Bernie and AOC’s rally. In the off year.
Americans are pissed — and anyone ignoring that is making a big mistake.
Americans are pissed — and anyone ignoring that is making a big mistake.
April 13, 2025 at 2:25 AM
I’m told this can’t win because it’s unpopular so the smart play is for Democrats to suck up to conservatives in order to win the votes of 9 bigots who don’t like spray tan.
Hey @democrats.org! Don't ring my doorbell during kids' bedtime to ask for money if you aren't planning on using it to *work* on any visible opposition. Thanks!
April 3, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Hey @democrats.org! Don't ring my doorbell during kids' bedtime to ask for money if you aren't planning on using it to *work* on any visible opposition. Thanks!
Appreciate @booker.senate.gov taking a stand. Would love to see questions from @warren.senate.gov, @sanders.senate.gov, @democrats.senate.gov to stand with him and disrupt the business of the senate.
I’ve taken the Senate floor and will speak for as long as I’m physically able to lift the voices of Americans who are being harmed and not being heard in this moment of crisis. Watch here:
Live: Speaking on Trump, Musk, and America’s Moral Moment on the Senate Floor | Senator Cory Booker
YouTube video by Senator Cory Booker
youtube.com
April 1, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Appreciate @booker.senate.gov taking a stand. Would love to see questions from @warren.senate.gov, @sanders.senate.gov, @democrats.senate.gov to stand with him and disrupt the business of the senate.
Thank you to @ossoff.senate.gov and @warnock.senate.gov for standing up for what's right.
March 14, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Thank you to @ossoff.senate.gov and @warnock.senate.gov for standing up for what's right.
Reposted by Pato
The Democrats face the only decisions because—in headlines—only the Democrats have agency in the federal government, even when they have no majorities and hold virtually no formal power.
The government runs out of funding Friday at midnight, leaving Democrats to decide whether to help Republicans pass a bill to avoid a shutdown or block the bill and be blamed for triggering one.
Senate Democrats face major dilemma: help GOP pass funding bill or trigger shutdown
www.npr.org
March 13, 2025 at 5:47 PM
The Democrats face the only decisions because—in headlines—only the Democrats have agency in the federal government, even when they have no majorities and hold virtually no formal power.