primalignity
@primalignity.bsky.social
no user serviceable parts inside
It's snowing really hard I need someone in an economically precarious position to bring me McDonald's on a bicycle.
January 17, 2026 at 6:02 PM
It's snowing really hard I need someone in an economically precarious position to bring me McDonald's on a bicycle.
Muttering "I feel like Batman or Halo" every time I have to press a buzzer in CVS to unlock my 90oz Suave 19-in-1 Scented Gel.
January 16, 2026 at 7:32 PM
Muttering "I feel like Batman or Halo" every time I have to press a buzzer in CVS to unlock my 90oz Suave 19-in-1 Scented Gel.
You used to turn a book sideways or get a bust of Plato to fill in a bookshelf faster but now you can buy a "Book Nook" which is like a thin Funko Pop for people who think reading is a "hobby."
January 16, 2026 at 5:48 PM
You used to turn a book sideways or get a bust of Plato to fill in a bookshelf faster but now you can buy a "Book Nook" which is like a thin Funko Pop for people who think reading is a "hobby."
The haircut situation in 2016 was dire.
January 16, 2026 at 4:33 PM
The haircut situation in 2016 was dire.
Walking down the street with a beanie and looking pissed off bc it's windy. Should've shaved 3 days ago. I am Jason Statham.
January 15, 2026 at 10:52 PM
Walking down the street with a beanie and looking pissed off bc it's windy. Should've shaved 3 days ago. I am Jason Statham.
The Suckler weeps tonight.
Crypto lobbyist and former senator Kyrsten Sinema has been sued for having affair with her ex-bodyguard. She also allegedly encouraged him to take the psychedelic drug MDMA on a Senate work trip so she could guide him through it.
Kyrsten Sinema Accused of Having Affair With Ex-Bodyguard
Crypto lobbyist and former senator Kyrsten Sinema has been sued for having affair with her ex-bodyguard. She also allegedly encouraged him to take the psychedelic drug MDMA on a Senate work trip so she could guide him through it.
nymag.com
January 15, 2026 at 10:37 PM
The Suckler weeps tonight.
$DONT $CARE $DIDNT $ASK
January 15, 2026 at 8:22 PM
$DONT $CARE $DIDNT $ASK
Moron previous tenant at my place is on month 6 of mailing shit here. Just got a credit card.
January 15, 2026 at 7:25 PM
Moron previous tenant at my place is on month 6 of mailing shit here. Just got a credit card.
Get thee to a
Chuddery
January 15, 2026 at 4:10 PM
Get thee to a
OHHHH GOD OHH FUCK SOMEONE SHOWED UP INJURED AT MY ER AND NOW I HAVE TO TREAT THEM AHHH
January 12, 2026 at 11:38 PM
OHHHH GOD OHH FUCK SOMEONE SHOWED UP INJURED AT MY ER AND NOW I HAVE TO TREAT THEM AHHH
"Einsatzbaijani" now that's a word you won't find on Bluesky.
January 12, 2026 at 5:23 AM
"Einsatzbaijani" now that's a word you won't find on Bluesky.
The screaming and honking has begun in Philadelphia. Sirens pierce the night. Do not leave your home for 24 hours.
January 12, 2026 at 1:01 AM
The screaming and honking has begun in Philadelphia. Sirens pierce the night. Do not leave your home for 24 hours.
Jalen Hurts hit someone in the chest challenge: failed.
January 12, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Jalen Hurts hit someone in the chest challenge: failed.
We never have to hear about "Trevor Lawrence" ever again thank you god.
January 11, 2026 at 9:06 PM
We never have to hear about "Trevor Lawrence" ever again thank you god.
The NFL is rigging a football game for the Jacksonville Jaguars for some reason.
January 11, 2026 at 7:30 PM
The NFL is rigging a football game for the Jacksonville Jaguars for some reason.
No more Packers 🙏
January 11, 2026 at 4:36 AM
No more Packers 🙏
What is wrong with the Chicago Bears?
January 11, 2026 at 2:09 AM
What is wrong with the Chicago Bears?
Al Michael's reading his Fallout ad like he's at a funeral.
January 11, 2026 at 1:38 AM
Al Michael's reading his Fallout ad like he's at a funeral.
How does it feel
January 10, 2026 at 6:43 AM
How does it feel
Do they not try onside kicks in CFB
January 10, 2026 at 4:07 AM
Do they not try onside kicks in CFB
Liveleak is such a quaint idea at this point when you have the Orange Alien Snuff App and the Blue Bird Snuff App and the formerly a blue bird now a Letter Snuff App and the
January 9, 2026 at 9:44 PM
Liveleak is such a quaint idea at this point when you have the Orange Alien Snuff App and the Blue Bird Snuff App and the formerly a blue bird now a Letter Snuff App and the
Same ad for The Pitt.
January 9, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Same ad for The Pitt.