🥧 Hot Apple Pie Smith
@reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Author of Even a Dog Enlists, Why Not You? and Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir. Formerly a US Army, MI, UN, NATO, etc. guy. Currently a Regular Human Person goofing off on Bluesky. https://www.amazon.com/stores/Sean-Smith/author/B0B6KPP5XL
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Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir
Amazon.com: Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir eBook : Smith, Sean M.: Kindle Store
www.amazon.com
🧵 The complete guide to the Sean M. Smith literary universe!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
TIL someone posted an AI recap of my memoir read by the worst AI voice anybody has heard since the Clinton administration and lmao
November 26, 2025 at 3:48 PM
TIL someone posted an AI recap of my memoir read by the worst AI voice anybody has heard since the Clinton administration and lmao
"...suffer not our hatred of hypocrisy and pretence ever to diminish."
November 26, 2025 at 3:27 PM
"...suffer not our hatred of hypocrisy and pretence ever to diminish."
One of my rare hardass takes is that if there isn't an ethical line you won't cross to advance your military career, you need to get the fuck out and go sell used cars or something.
Army Doctrine Publication 6-22 (Army Leadership and the Profession) says to disobey unlawful orders.
Immoral ones too.
Do what's right. That's the standard.
Immoral ones too.
Do what's right. That's the standard.
November 26, 2025 at 2:29 PM
One of my rare hardass takes is that if there isn't an ethical line you won't cross to advance your military career, you need to get the fuck out and go sell used cars or something.
The thing about "AI" is that before it became a marketing catchphrase by and for the worst douchebags you ever saw over the last few years, it was just a broad field of study that would periodically produce something that was narrowly useful, and it was Completely Fine, Actually.
November 26, 2025 at 2:13 PM
The thing about "AI" is that before it became a marketing catchphrase by and for the worst douchebags you ever saw over the last few years, it was just a broad field of study that would periodically produce something that was narrowly useful, and it was Completely Fine, Actually.
Blue checkmark is starting to be more like a warning here like it became on Twitter.
A bunch of you need to get your boy for peddling conspiracy trash.
A bunch of you need to get your boy for peddling conspiracy trash.
November 26, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Blue checkmark is starting to be more like a warning here like it became on Twitter.
A bunch of you need to get your boy for peddling conspiracy trash.
A bunch of you need to get your boy for peddling conspiracy trash.
Dick Marcinko was the Moses of vetbro content creators.
November 26, 2025 at 12:05 PM
Dick Marcinko was the Moses of vetbro content creators.
We all read the first wave of operator memoirs in the 90s about doing Rambo shit in Vietnam BUT REAL BROTHER, which could only address the existence of women in the form of what amounted to Ted Nugent B-side lyrics, and we were all worse for it.
November 26, 2025 at 11:56 AM
We all read the first wave of operator memoirs in the 90s about doing Rambo shit in Vietnam BUT REAL BROTHER, which could only address the existence of women in the form of what amounted to Ted Nugent B-side lyrics, and we were all worse for it.
RETVRN to special operators shunning the public eye and disowning anyone who tries to cash in.
Aside from all the dogshit podcasts and coffee brands, it has replaced a mystique that was hard to pin down with interchangeable ham-tinged white roid bros with stupid tattoos.
Aside from all the dogshit podcasts and coffee brands, it has replaced a mystique that was hard to pin down with interchangeable ham-tinged white roid bros with stupid tattoos.
My proposal is twofold:
You don’t ask, you get asked.
You gotta keep your mouth shut.
You don’t ask, you get asked.
You gotta keep your mouth shut.
You - yes, you Ds specifically - will need SOF & just because the SEALs have cultivated a far right internal culture it doesn’t warrant disbanding a critical strategic asset.
75RR is fine. Others too.
Infantry can’t do HR, hard target defeat, sensitive SI. Stop claiming it can, it’s wishcasting.
75RR is fine. Others too.
Infantry can’t do HR, hard target defeat, sensitive SI. Stop claiming it can, it’s wishcasting.
November 26, 2025 at 11:47 AM
RETVRN to special operators shunning the public eye and disowning anyone who tries to cash in.
Aside from all the dogshit podcasts and coffee brands, it has replaced a mystique that was hard to pin down with interchangeable ham-tinged white roid bros with stupid tattoos.
Aside from all the dogshit podcasts and coffee brands, it has replaced a mystique that was hard to pin down with interchangeable ham-tinged white roid bros with stupid tattoos.
Remake John Carpenter's The Prince of Darkness with a $300m budget...and Alice Cooper reprising his role as the satanic zombie hobo who stabs someone with a bicycle.
November 26, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Remake John Carpenter's The Prince of Darkness with a $300m budget...and Alice Cooper reprising his role as the satanic zombie hobo who stabs someone with a bicycle.
Mood:
Get Where I Belong
YouTube video by Free - Topic
www.youtube.com
November 25, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Mood:
I'm not even Writing Rich, and this kind of deranged shit is why I hated "writing twitter." Strangers don't owe you their book financials! The fuck is wrong with people like this?
Christ, what an asshole.
Christ, what an asshole.
November 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
I'm not even Writing Rich, and this kind of deranged shit is why I hated "writing twitter." Strangers don't owe you their book financials! The fuck is wrong with people like this?
Christ, what an asshole.
Christ, what an asshole.
One of the funny things about writing is how what you worried about while writing can be so at odds with how people really take it.
"Man, I hope I wrote about this thing in a way [hypothetical reader X] won't be insulted or creeped out by...."
3 years later: Actual reader X appears
"Man, I hope I wrote about this thing in a way [hypothetical reader X] won't be insulted or creeped out by...."
3 years later: Actual reader X appears
a boy and a girl are standing next to a purple car in a cartoon .
Alt: FLYING GLOMP HUG
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 9:02 PM
One of the funny things about writing is how what you worried about while writing can be so at odds with how people really take it.
"Man, I hope I wrote about this thing in a way [hypothetical reader X] won't be insulted or creeped out by...."
3 years later: Actual reader X appears
"Man, I hope I wrote about this thing in a way [hypothetical reader X] won't be insulted or creeped out by...."
3 years later: Actual reader X appears
The favorite guy of the worst contrarian edglord pricks you ever saw keeps getting worse lol
November 25, 2025 at 6:23 PM
The favorite guy of the worst contrarian edglord pricks you ever saw keeps getting worse lol
Its ancestor was Scorched Earth, "The Mother of All Games"
November 25, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Its ancestor was Scorched Earth, "The Mother of All Games"
Happy faces all around!
(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
November 25, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Happy faces all around!
(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
November 25, 2025 at 4:06 PM
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
It's a small thing to fixate on, but I can't get over the idea of talking up undying loyalty among officers based on *branch alone* as a real thing that's real, not even babby Cadet Smith believed in fairy tale glurge like that.
November 25, 2025 at 3:20 PM
It's a small thing to fixate on, but I can't get over the idea of talking up undying loyalty among officers based on *branch alone* as a real thing that's real, not even babby Cadet Smith believed in fairy tale glurge like that.
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
November 25, 2025 at 2:46 PM
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Bari Weiss might be the strangest success story of America's trash era, because her awfulness is so overwhelmingly bland in an era of gold-painted Temu trim on the White House. It's like being offered runny oatmeal as a snack at a late stage Roman Empire orgy where everyone's brains are full of lead
November 25, 2025 at 11:14 AM
Bari Weiss might be the strangest success story of America's trash era, because her awfulness is so overwhelmingly bland in an era of gold-painted Temu trim on the White House. It's like being offered runny oatmeal as a snack at a late stage Roman Empire orgy where everyone's brains are full of lead
This really does seem to be A Thing, doesn't it?
Downstream of the the general problem that for most people left of Romney (including very serious people), anything related to the specifics of defense may as well have cooties & I think virtually every exception to that is active on here
November 25, 2025 at 10:25 AM
This really does seem to be A Thing, doesn't it?
Back then the gulf between the flair havers (mostly from the Gulf or Panama) and not havers was biblical.
Shit, do a couple Balkan tours and you were lapping O-5s in volume (if not quality).
Shit, do a couple Balkan tours and you were lapping O-5s in volume (if not quality).
I mean, SecDef’s rack is full of participation trophies and “I made my bed right” acknowledgements.
One thing I miss about the Cold War years is that if you saw a dude in a USMC uniform with more than two rows of ribbons, you knew homie had genuinely Done Some Shit.
One thing I miss about the Cold War years is that if you saw a dude in a USMC uniform with more than two rows of ribbons, you knew homie had genuinely Done Some Shit.
November 24, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Back then the gulf between the flair havers (mostly from the Gulf or Panama) and not havers was biblical.
Shit, do a couple Balkan tours and you were lapping O-5s in volume (if not quality).
Shit, do a couple Balkan tours and you were lapping O-5s in volume (if not quality).
Reunion selfies: Trash
Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
November 24, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Reunion selfies: Trash
Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
Hegseth has more like botched corporal brain tbh
Not that there aren't dogshit terminal captains/ majors but bro can't even fake proper staff jackass minimal brainpower vibes, and I DON'T say that lightly.
Not that there aren't dogshit terminal captains/ majors but bro can't even fake proper staff jackass minimal brainpower vibes, and I DON'T say that lightly.
It's incredible to me that he ever achieved a rank above staff sergeant. He hasn't got the temperament or skills for a commissioned officer.
November 24, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Hegseth has more like botched corporal brain tbh
Not that there aren't dogshit terminal captains/ majors but bro can't even fake proper staff jackass minimal brainpower vibes, and I DON'T say that lightly.
Not that there aren't dogshit terminal captains/ majors but bro can't even fake proper staff jackass minimal brainpower vibes, and I DON'T say that lightly.
🧵 The complete guide to the Sean M. Smith literary universe!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir
Amazon.com: Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir eBook : Smith, Sean M.: Kindle Store
www.amazon.com
November 24, 2025 at 8:45 PM
🧵 The complete guide to the Sean M. Smith literary universe!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
Reposted by 🥧 Hot Apple Pie Smith
My kids have measles, I lost my job, and I'm going to die because RFK Jr. cancelled the clinical trials that might have cured my cancer. But at least I know there won't be any same-sex couples in the next Frozen movie.
November 24, 2025 at 6:06 PM
My kids have measles, I lost my job, and I'm going to die because RFK Jr. cancelled the clinical trials that might have cured my cancer. But at least I know there won't be any same-sex couples in the next Frozen movie.