wrote myself into a corner. i made a problem and now i have to unfuck it myself. i have to actually think thoughts and make decisions and if i make the wrong decision then it'll be bad. it's almost like i'm the only person who can make this thing exist and make it be good? writing is a scam
SJ transmigrating into SY and finding a modern era version of YQY to wreck is still one of my faves. Strange, aggressive twink who made really intense eye contact speed walking down the sidewalk after an increasingly alarmed bear in a cardigan.
also I don’t know why she looks so vaguely vulnerable and surprised in that moment to me, like hornet is coming to a realization that she already knew but had not acknowledged to herself, because she has no expression. she’s wearing a mask.
obsessed with xue xian’s relationship with jiang shining. bossy little snake and his pack mule who he bosses around because jiang shining is too nice to tell xue xian to fuck off
"i have no right to rebuke you," is what yqy says in the water prison when sj seemingly confesses to killing lqg because sj's continued grudge against yqy has drilled into yqy's head that every one of sj's actions ever after they separated has been yqy's fault by proxy
although one thing about Yue Qingyuan is that, even when he was young, he didn't speak often about himself or his own needs; from the way that they interacted in the flashback where Yue Qi left Shen Jiu at qiu manor, it seems the person who looked after Yue Qi's needs was Shen Jiu...
Yue Qi was a kid who scolded Shen Jiu and told him to knock it off!!! he would bother Shen Jiu during the annual assembly!! he's not actually a naturally reticent person!!!
like many parts of shen jiu's tragic end, one could argue that Yue Qingyuan's silence towards him (the very thing that drove Shen Jiu so insane because he assumed that silence meant Yue Qi had abandoned him) is also something that Shen Jiu engineered himself
but he also refuses to let sj die or suffer the consequences of his own actions so instead yqy just stands there fucking furious and heals him anyway. like when your mom is pissed with you but she feeds you dinner anyway while radiating silent fury
the moment when yqy is transferring qi to sj in the ling xi caves and sj is directly commenting on the blood yqy left behind in the caves. and when sj is like why arent you saying anything yqy replies "Isn't it because the moment I do, you'll find it annoying?" yqy was fucking mad as hell dude
the scene where yqy comes to stop sj from qi deviating in the ling xi caves is also funny as hell because the only interpretation i can see for this scene is that yqy is unbelievably pissed off
i do feel afraid to say this because I know this is an unpopular interpretation and honestly not one that i even agree with on every day of the week and i feel like someone will come and kill me online for saying this
rereading the qijiu oneshot is ridiculous because there's such an the emphasis on how yqy, who wasn't really that quiet of a child, slowly becomes more and more quiet with every time sj shuts him down until yqy ceases to speak at all
