buttered jorts
@samopei.bsky.social
frei // shitposting and OCs personal account don’t follow for art!
#freifood
#freifood
Face is hurting in a way that I can only describe as Ominous
February 9, 2026 at 12:32 PM
Face is hurting in a way that I can only describe as Ominous
Reposted by buttered jorts
loot does not drop upon defeating me. the developers didn't expect anyone to attack me, i am so vulnerable, and only trying to help. why did you raise your sword? for material gain? i would give you anything i have if you had only asked. i did not ask to be in this game, i did not ask to have 6hp.
February 8, 2026 at 12:55 AM
loot does not drop upon defeating me. the developers didn't expect anyone to attack me, i am so vulnerable, and only trying to help. why did you raise your sword? for material gain? i would give you anything i have if you had only asked. i did not ask to be in this game, i did not ask to have 6hp.
there is a mystery repost on my xfiles post and i thought we didn't get to have secret bsky accounts??
February 8, 2026 at 3:35 AM
there is a mystery repost on my xfiles post and i thought we didn't get to have secret bsky accounts??
xfiles // on this week's episode, Bemusement
February 8, 2026 at 1:53 AM
xfiles // on this week's episode, Bemusement
you're telling me there's a drifter (d2) and drifter (warframe) and drifter (deadlock) and i have to guess which one is doing kisses on my dashboard every single time
February 7, 2026 at 6:22 AM
you're telling me there's a drifter (d2) and drifter (warframe) and drifter (deadlock) and i have to guess which one is doing kisses on my dashboard every single time
i'll be honest i got one (1) girlpla kit and while i bemoan the incredibly male gaze-y design i am, unfortunately, Gay
February 6, 2026 at 9:06 PM
i'll be honest i got one (1) girlpla kit and while i bemoan the incredibly male gaze-y design i am, unfortunately, Gay
god i want a 3d printer so bad (no room no money no time)
February 5, 2026 at 9:06 PM
god i want a 3d printer so bad (no room no money no time)
me: stooping down to pick up garbage cookiedog ran off with
cookiedog, that exact moment: human is within range! Must Kiss
cookiedog applied forehead directly to my jaw and it Hurts
cookiedog, that exact moment: human is within range! Must Kiss
cookiedog applied forehead directly to my jaw and it Hurts
February 4, 2026 at 10:58 PM
me: stooping down to pick up garbage cookiedog ran off with
cookiedog, that exact moment: human is within range! Must Kiss
cookiedog applied forehead directly to my jaw and it Hurts
cookiedog, that exact moment: human is within range! Must Kiss
cookiedog applied forehead directly to my jaw and it Hurts
me: cookie come here
cookie, walking upstairs to laze: nah
me: (takes off pj pants to change for walkies)
cookie: (bolting over from the next room with her ears swiveled forward) walkies?
cookie, walking upstairs to laze: nah
me: (takes off pj pants to change for walkies)
cookie: (bolting over from the next room with her ears swiveled forward) walkies?
February 1, 2026 at 9:30 PM
me: cookie come here
cookie, walking upstairs to laze: nah
me: (takes off pj pants to change for walkies)
cookie: (bolting over from the next room with her ears swiveled forward) walkies?
cookie, walking upstairs to laze: nah
me: (takes off pj pants to change for walkies)
cookie: (bolting over from the next room with her ears swiveled forward) walkies?
man it's so weird sometimes to think that babymetal is in their 20s now like....i remember 14yo babies singing about chocolate and waking up late........
February 1, 2026 at 7:19 PM
man it's so weird sometimes to think that babymetal is in their 20s now like....i remember 14yo babies singing about chocolate and waking up late........
me: clicks on an indian? horror movie? about tigers
movie: starts off with people on a boat
me: oh maybe it's white people going to india
movie: is not approaching india
movie: is in the pacific garbage patch
me:
me: and they still have to deal with a tiger?
movie: starts off with people on a boat
me: oh maybe it's white people going to india
movie: is not approaching india
movie: is in the pacific garbage patch
me:
me: and they still have to deal with a tiger?
January 31, 2026 at 3:37 PM
me: clicks on an indian? horror movie? about tigers
movie: starts off with people on a boat
me: oh maybe it's white people going to india
movie: is not approaching india
movie: is in the pacific garbage patch
me:
me: and they still have to deal with a tiger?
movie: starts off with people on a boat
me: oh maybe it's white people going to india
movie: is not approaching india
movie: is in the pacific garbage patch
me:
me: and they still have to deal with a tiger?
The Costco poutine is NOT the same size as the Costco fries,
January 29, 2026 at 9:14 PM
The Costco poutine is NOT the same size as the Costco fries,
seeing the strawberry donuts in korean tim hortons and being like HEY. YOU'RE CANADIAN. WHY AREN'T YOU PUTTING THOSE OUT HERE
STRAWBERRY MATCHA CRULLER?? STRAWBERRY CHOUX PASTRY CREAM???
www.tim-hortons.co.kr/ORD0101/0500...
STRAWBERRY MATCHA CRULLER?? STRAWBERRY CHOUX PASTRY CREAM???
www.tim-hortons.co.kr/ORD0101/0500...
January 28, 2026 at 6:19 PM
seeing the strawberry donuts in korean tim hortons and being like HEY. YOU'RE CANADIAN. WHY AREN'T YOU PUTTING THOSE OUT HERE
STRAWBERRY MATCHA CRULLER?? STRAWBERRY CHOUX PASTRY CREAM???
www.tim-hortons.co.kr/ORD0101/0500...
STRAWBERRY MATCHA CRULLER?? STRAWBERRY CHOUX PASTRY CREAM???
www.tim-hortons.co.kr/ORD0101/0500...
Sometimes pmdd feels like the most unfair thing like I didn’t do anything but here I am being strapped into a rollercoaster against my will on a regular basis
January 28, 2026 at 3:15 PM
Sometimes pmdd feels like the most unfair thing like I didn’t do anything but here I am being strapped into a rollercoaster against my will on a regular basis
Reposted by buttered jorts
*fully restores your HP as you scroll past*
January 27, 2026 at 4:20 AM
*fully restores your HP as you scroll past*
+1 skill acquired [ snowblower proficiency ]
January 25, 2026 at 10:50 PM
+1 skill acquired [ snowblower proficiency ]
you ever wake up at 1pm because the snow was blocking the light from your window and making it such a nice cozy and dim environment for you to remain asleep
January 25, 2026 at 6:20 PM
you ever wake up at 1pm because the snow was blocking the light from your window and making it such a nice cozy and dim environment for you to remain asleep
대충 아트북 사놓고 안읽는거처럼 존잘인증 책/브러시/소재/자료 사놓고 곁에만 두면 음이온 효과로 어쩌고저쩌고해서 똑똑해지고 예술 점수+1 상승함 프린세스메이커처럼 ㅇㅇ 아무튼 그런 법이 잇음
^ 저러고싶다
^ 저러고싶다
January 25, 2026 at 3:54 AM
대충 아트북 사놓고 안읽는거처럼 존잘인증 책/브러시/소재/자료 사놓고 곁에만 두면 음이온 효과로 어쩌고저쩌고해서 똑똑해지고 예술 점수+1 상승함 프린세스메이커처럼 ㅇㅇ 아무튼 그런 법이 잇음
^ 저러고싶다
^ 저러고싶다
xfiles // hey. hey. what the fuck
January 25, 2026 at 1:49 AM
xfiles // hey. hey. what the fuck
putting on a random n*tflix series on in the bg as usual
it's resident evil but since i won't be really watching it i'm sure it'll be fine
suddenly i hear a very familiar voice
it's
lance reddick
bursts into tears
it's resident evil but since i won't be really watching it i'm sure it'll be fine
suddenly i hear a very familiar voice
it's
lance reddick
bursts into tears
January 24, 2026 at 10:45 PM
putting on a random n*tflix series on in the bg as usual
it's resident evil but since i won't be really watching it i'm sure it'll be fine
suddenly i hear a very familiar voice
it's
lance reddick
bursts into tears
it's resident evil but since i won't be really watching it i'm sure it'll be fine
suddenly i hear a very familiar voice
it's
lance reddick
bursts into tears
Reposted by buttered jorts
My local bookshop understands their audience.
January 22, 2026 at 4:13 PM
My local bookshop understands their audience.
Reposted by buttered jorts
overheard at costco, one guy explaining to his friend in mandarin that a pizza roll is like a baozi with pepperoni, reigniting the eternal debate: is a pizza roll a baozi
January 23, 2026 at 2:53 AM
overheard at costco, one guy explaining to his friend in mandarin that a pizza roll is like a baozi with pepperoni, reigniting the eternal debate: is a pizza roll a baozi
Sad and angry about finances
January 23, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Sad and angry about finances
Reposted by buttered jorts
