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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger
@scottclevenger.bsky.social
3.2K followers 7.2K following 2.5K posts
Author. Co-host of The Slumgullion podcast. Hypocritical screenwriter. I write mean but funny movie reviews at Better Living Through Bad Movies: https://clevenger.substack.com
clevenger.substack.com
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 1h
He could have a whole HEAD of 'em, like Mary Pickford. Who knows how high he's got his hair piled under that top hat?
scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 2h
HIM: Excuse me? Miss?

HER: What the—? Oh! Uh….Yes? What do you want?

HIM: I’m really sorry to bother you, but if it’s not too much trouble could you just reach up there and toss me my bra?
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 2h
“Neckgina” but sung to the tune of the Oak Ridge Boys’ 1981 hit “Elvira”
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 16h
Most things do.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 17h
This week at Better Living Through Bad Movies, Michael Flatley is Bond. With bunions. 📽 #Film
open.substack.com/pub/clevenge...
Blackbird (2018)
I see London, I see France, I see the frigging Lord of the Dance.
open.substack.com
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 21h
What, they couldn't get Roger Taney to weigh in?
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 21h
::staring in Gasoline Alley::
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 22h
or the Beige.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 22h
Back the blue.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 1d
🎶New York, London, Paris, Thibet
Everybody thalk about
Pop musik
Thalk about
Pop musik
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 1d
If THAT'S where it's going, mind if mine tags along? Because I'm still snorting at that thought.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 1d
Is Corn Grass? Yes.

Is Corn Flakes? Also apparently yes.

Is Corn Hats? I see no way to avoid it.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 2d
All of his friends agreed it needed to be said, but none of them wanted to be the one to tell Java Jack that he really needed to switch to decaf.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 2d
I tried Top Ramen, but ultimately found I preferred a more submissive noodle soup.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 3d
MAN: This is Orion 1! MAYDAY!
NASA: We read you, Orion 1. What's the nature of your emergency?
MAN: An iceskating monkey just stole my Betamax!
NASA: ...
MAN: He's wearing silver skates like Hans Brinker and a yellow scarf, but he's NUDE!
NASA: Uh, Orion 1, please check the CO2 levels in your suit
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 3d
Nobody warned me I was supposed to save it.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 3d
“NURSE KATHY The exciting story of a beautiful nurse who fell in love with a patient someone wanted to kill!”

Unfortunately, that someone was Nurse Kathy (it was a complicated relationship).
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 5d
The two strippers squared off, Wild West-style. Ginger thought she was good -- maybe the best -- but she learned the hard way that this new kid was the fastest bra-doffer in town.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 5d
HIM: I made it! Billions of miles through space just to stand alone on a desolate lifeless planet. But finally I'm free to be what I've always wanted to be--a DANCER! "Just a steel town girl on a Saturday night..."

HER: WTF is going on??

HIM: oh shit
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 6d
“How do ya do? Phil Johnson, Allied Mutual. I, uh…can see you’re a busy man, reanimating corpses and growing mermaids in bathtubs and whatnot, but I just have one question: Have you thought about your insurance needs lately?"
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 6d
What I love about this “bowler’s delight” placesetting is not just the kitschy but clever ten-pin candlesticks, but also that we appear to have caught the big Brunswick bowling ball being indecently pleasured by the mob of nut-covered sub-balls.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 7d
Emboldened by the runaway success of their first children's book, the classic If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, the authors rushed out this somewhat less successful sequel, If You Show a Moose a Beaver.
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 7d
Bored with Mordor, Sauron packed his tap shoes and traipsed off to New York City ("the Big Apple of my eye!" as he cheekily called it) to pursue his dreams of stardom on the Great White Way, eventually landing a featured chorus role in "Pajama Game"!
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 8d
“Grandpa? I found all these cool old pictures…When were you on Eagle Island?”
“It was before the War, Tommy. I was a bush pilot and adventurer.”
“Awesome! What’d you do?”
“Ohhh, flew around. Ate fish. Screeched. You know…Eagle stuff.”
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scottclevenger.bsky.social
Scott Clevenger @scottclevenger.bsky.social · 8d
Bari Weiss, the only Pokemon that just devolves.