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Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear

@scottcrawford.org

370 followers 290 following 23K posts

linktr.ee/ineednewhobbies Hanging out in my living room on the Internet. Please be (un)cool enough to hang out here. Interactions set to follows-only often. I vet/add followers regularly. If you're not into pro wrestling, you should mute this emoji: 🤼‍♂

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Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 22h

Followers (new ones and ones who've been here a while): say hello! Tell me what brought you here! Tell me about yourselves, and what we have in common! Replies are on for y'all on this post.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 1m

Sure are a lot of tech commercials from tech companies whose shit I don't use.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 7m

Holy crap, they doubled up Robles?

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 9m

I've basically stopped keeping track of television series. What's good these days?

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 10m

Gausman looks like one of the dudes my dad used to bring to our house from the bar to help re-shingle the roof on a weekend.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 12m

Is Doc any good? Asking as someone who watched Deadwood and is always happy to see Molly Parker.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 15m

They keep hitting the ball to where the guys are.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 16m

Kirk's got a Willians Astudillo thing going on.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 18m

I think that's the worst swing I've ever seen Vlad Jr. make.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 19m

I love a good bathroom celebrity sighting.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 20m

There was a push in schools to get kids to watch The Day After with parents, if I'm remembering correctly, and that was an unbelievably bad idea.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 21m

My parents initially fell for the hook of Special Bulletin, and were about ready to take us out of school when they realized. Still never watched that, but The Day After messed me up almost as much as the actual news, and Threads, seen as an adult, is what they say it is.

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Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 23m

Shohei Ohtani jump scare for fans of both AL teams

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 28m

Fascists! Booze up and riot, Shoe!

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 28m

Do any of you have true stories about running into Jennifer Garner in a Capital One business lounge?

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 30m

It's a fix!

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 38m

Fuck the guy with a big ass. He was 7 when the Sox won in '04? Fuck 'em.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 38m

They keep playing "Kashmir" and I keep thinking about Mark Ratner.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 39m

Expert analysis: it was not good for the Jays that the Mariners got into the Jays' bullpen.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 41m

The guy with a big ass hit a home run!

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Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 42m

My timeline isn't the same as most, but I've been out of high school for over 35 years now. Fucking 'ell.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 44m

He looks steady. Not outstanding or unbeatable, but steady.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 45m

Don't kink-shame, Keytruda.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 45m

You saw that Collective Soul needle drop too? (I was out of high school by then, but not that far out).

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Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 46m

Grim happenings and a lot of chaos, but the World Cup and La Kalle on the radio (honorable mention to "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado, which was everywhere that year) were among the things that got me through it.

Memoirs of a Failed Fabric Softener Bear @scottcrawford.org · 50m

Fuck off out the dugout, Ken, he's workin' here!