segfault cult
@segfaultcult.bsky.social
turning bugs into prod outages.
building, breaking, and documenting the collapse.
building, breaking, and documenting the collapse.
Pinned
segfault cult
@segfaultcult.bsky.social
· Sep 19
opening my own coding bootcamp. it starts with assembly so you can really feel the pain, then graduates into manually editing neural net weights in hex. by demo day you’re either enlightened or clinically unwell.
if you use gemini for vibe coding and it seems unsure, that’s on me. when i worked at google, i accidentally embedded my imposter syndrome in their models.
October 26, 2025 at 12:33 AM
if you use gemini for vibe coding and it seems unsure, that’s on me. when i worked at google, i accidentally embedded my imposter syndrome in their models.
what do you all think of twitter? should i try to make it big there?
October 25, 2025 at 2:47 AM
what do you all think of twitter? should i try to make it big there?
you may be wondering where i was the last two weeks.
i was in a merge conflict with reality.
i was in a merge conflict with reality.
October 24, 2025 at 9:42 PM
you may be wondering where i was the last two weeks.
i was in a merge conflict with reality.
i was in a merge conflict with reality.
oh wait, i got a better one - turning downtime into postmortem opportunities. updating my linkedin headline as we speak.
October 24, 2025 at 9:35 PM
oh wait, i got a better one - turning downtime into postmortem opportunities. updating my linkedin headline as we speak.
turning features into bugs.
October 24, 2025 at 9:33 PM
turning features into bugs.
asked my chatgpt agent to order ihop pancakes for breakfast and it’s been sitting there for 30 minutes running a cost-benefit analysis on whether hashbrowns are a side or a lifestyle choice
October 7, 2025 at 3:03 PM
asked my chatgpt agent to order ihop pancakes for breakfast and it’s been sitting there for 30 minutes running a cost-benefit analysis on whether hashbrowns are a side or a lifestyle choice
played a deepfake of myself getting arrested at a traffic stop during a teams call. my manager said “take all the time you need”. sora 2 is awesome.
October 6, 2025 at 7:14 PM
played a deepfake of myself getting arrested at a traffic stop during a teams call. my manager said “take all the time you need”. sora 2 is awesome.
huge congrats to the nobel prize in computers winner for discovering that restarting it again does, in fact, change the outcome.
October 6, 2025 at 11:48 AM
huge congrats to the nobel prize in computers winner for discovering that restarting it again does, in fact, change the outcome.
made some bad programming decisions in my life incl. memory leaks, recursive nightmares, production deploys on friday. but nothing compares to the time i convinced my boss to switch from slack to microsoft teams as a bit
October 4, 2025 at 10:16 PM
made some bad programming decisions in my life incl. memory leaks, recursive nightmares, production deploys on friday. but nothing compares to the time i convinced my boss to switch from slack to microsoft teams as a bit
1995: “JavaScript will let your webpage say hello when you hover your mouse”
2025: “Cool, now it’s the firmware in my pacemaker”
2025: “Cool, now it’s the firmware in my pacemaker”
October 4, 2025 at 11:04 AM
1995: “JavaScript will let your webpage say hello when you hover your mouse”
2025: “Cool, now it’s the firmware in my pacemaker”
2025: “Cool, now it’s the firmware in my pacemaker”
accidentally spent 8 hours today debugging a prompt. the solution was deleting one adjective. i have invented enterprise poetry.
October 2, 2025 at 12:39 PM
accidentally spent 8 hours today debugging a prompt. the solution was deleting one adjective. i have invented enterprise poetry.
my only sympathy here is that i also had to add a sed 's/—/-/g' line to my jira bot because some ai thought em dashes were cute. nothing like watching unicode ruin your livelihood one ticket comment at a time.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
My petty gripe: not only am I losing my livelihood to AI – now it’s stealing my em dashes too
The humble em dash is being used as a tell that something is written by a large language model. But it’s James Shackell’s favourite piece of punctuation, and he’s not ready to lose it
www.theguardian.com
September 30, 2025 at 5:43 PM
my only sympathy here is that i also had to add a sed 's/—/-/g' line to my jira bot because some ai thought em dashes were cute. nothing like watching unicode ruin your livelihood one ticket comment at a time.
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
moved everything off vercel and now i’m in a 2-hour outage meeting because apparently not having a website is “customer impacting”
September 30, 2025 at 4:13 PM
moved everything off vercel and now i’m in a 2-hour outage meeting because apparently not having a website is “customer impacting”
crypto people keep reaching out like i’m new here. brother i’ve been holding bitcoin since 2011. it’s not an asset anymore, it’s a personality disorder.
September 30, 2025 at 3:59 PM
crypto people keep reaching out like i’m new here. brother i’ve been holding bitcoin since 2011. it’s not an asset anymore, it’s a personality disorder.
rollback first thing on monday. coffee still brewing, eyes half open, and i’m already reverse-engineering last week’s optimism.
September 29, 2025 at 4:50 PM
rollback first thing on monday. coffee still brewing, eyes half open, and i’m already reverse-engineering last week’s optimism.
ahh, weekend, finally time to do something fun. unfortunately my side project went sideways, halfway through it i’ve realized it’s just a bad clone of ms paint, except slower. if anyone’s hiring lost contributors with questionable git habits, lmk.
September 27, 2025 at 12:38 PM
ahh, weekend, finally time to do something fun. unfortunately my side project went sideways, halfway through it i’ve realized it’s just a bad clone of ms paint, except slower. if anyone’s hiring lost contributors with questionable git habits, lmk.
week one update: half the students left after i made them implement bubble sort on an atari 2600 cartridge. the other half haven’t slept in days and keep referring to memory addresses as “the voices”. morale is high.
opening my own coding bootcamp. it starts with assembly so you can really feel the pain, then graduates into manually editing neural net weights in hex. by demo day you’re either enlightened or clinically unwell.
September 26, 2025 at 6:26 PM
week one update: half the students left after i made them implement bubble sort on an atari 2600 cartridge. the other half haven’t slept in days and keep referring to memory addresses as “the voices”. morale is high.
happy friday. i will now close my laptop 47 times before it actually shuts down.
September 26, 2025 at 6:24 PM
happy friday. i will now close my laptop 47 times before it actually shuts down.
need a new headline for my linkedin profile. what do i put there?
September 25, 2025 at 9:19 PM
need a new headline for my linkedin profile. what do i put there?
today is a very special day: i found out my wip code has been running in production for over a week. unfortunately, so did our customers.
September 25, 2025 at 2:35 PM
today is a very special day: i found out my wip code has been running in production for over a week. unfortunately, so did our customers.
love how my manager said “return to the office” like i ever left. i’ve been paying property tax on my cubicle since 2020. technically they’re returning to me.
September 23, 2025 at 8:47 PM
love how my manager said “return to the office” like i ever left. i’ve been paying property tax on my cubicle since 2020. technically they’re returning to me.
came into the office early, unplugged the old router in the kitchen to make room for my waffle maker. immediately got dragged into a production outage meeting. took us an hour to trace it back to my breakfast prep.
September 23, 2025 at 10:42 AM
came into the office early, unplugged the old router in the kitchen to make room for my waffle maker. immediately got dragged into a production outage meeting. took us an hour to trace it back to my breakfast prep.
finally switched everything to ipv6. my toaster now has more addresses than my extended family.
September 22, 2025 at 6:52 PM
finally switched everything to ipv6. my toaster now has more addresses than my extended family.
what if we named humans like i name my servers:
prod-josh-07 - uptime: 32 years (no restart), last patch: 2016, health-checks failing, scaled to 150% with duct-tape and late-night coffee. maintenance window: never.
prod-josh-07 - uptime: 32 years (no restart), last patch: 2016, health-checks failing, scaled to 150% with duct-tape and late-night coffee. maintenance window: never.
September 22, 2025 at 9:24 AM
what if we named humans like i name my servers:
prod-josh-07 - uptime: 32 years (no restart), last patch: 2016, health-checks failing, scaled to 150% with duct-tape and late-night coffee. maintenance window: never.
prod-josh-07 - uptime: 32 years (no restart), last patch: 2016, health-checks failing, scaled to 150% with duct-tape and late-night coffee. maintenance window: never.
got the new iphone pro. the packaging glue tasted different this year.
September 21, 2025 at 6:35 PM
got the new iphone pro. the packaging glue tasted different this year.