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Donna’s Journey: Reclaiming Life After 25 Years of Coercive Control (Video)

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 23h

After enduring 25 years of emotional abuse and #coercivecontrol that left her feeling hopeless, Donna found the courage to escape her toxic marriage and rebuild her life.

shadowsofcontrol.com/video/...

Learn about coercive control, a hidden form of domestic abuse. Shadows of Control shares stories, insights, and resources to recognize control in relationships and understand its impact.

Institutional Betrayal in the Fight Against Domestic Abuse

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 1d

Manipulation includes #gaslighting—twisting reality so you doubt your memory, perceptions, & sanity. They may dismiss your feelings, shift blame, or make you feel like the villain. This obscures their abuse & makes it harder to leave.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 1d

Survivors of domestic abuse often face systemic failures, with courts, police, and social services frequently perpetuating cycles of harm. #PostSeparationAbuse

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Discover the heart-wrenching experiences of survivors of domestic abuse as they navigate an institutional system that too often sides with perpetrators.

Too Good to Be True: Survivors Accounts of Love Bombing Tactics

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 2d

It’s easier to blame the victim than admit anyone can be targeted by an abuser.
#stopvictimblaming #domesticabuseawareness

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 2d

Love bombing may feel like true love, but survivors know how it hides manipulation and control. Here they share the red flags of love bombing they wish they’d noticed sooner. #LoveBombing

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Unveiling the truth behind love bombing tactics: survivors share their stories of manipulation and control disguised as love.

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 2d

Inconsistency is a form of control. It keeps you walking on eggshells, constantly anticipating what will come next.
#EmotionalAbuse #WalkingOnEggshells

Why Non-Fatal Strangulation Is a Critical Warning Sign in Abuse Cases

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 2d

Non-fatal strangulation is an extremely dangerous abuse tactic with severe risks and a strong link to future violence. #DomesticViolenceAwareness

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Non-fatal strangulation is an extremely dangerous abuse tactic with severe risks and a strong link to future violence.

10 Things Never To Say To Someone That Has Left an Abusive Marriage

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 3d

Leaving an abusive marriage takes courage. Words can heal or harm. Choose compassion.

Read more on my Substack.

shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

Leaving an abusive marriage is an act requiring enormous courage and strength.

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 3d

Question: “But they apologized—shouldn’t you give them another chance?”

Answer: Apologies without real change are just another manipulation tactic. Abusers often apologize to keep you in the cycle of hope, but their behavior doesn’t change. True accountability requires action, not just words.

Walking on Eggshells: How Fear Becomes the Abusers Strongest Weapon

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 3d

Fear is the heartbeat of abuse. It is not just a side effect, but the very mechanism that sustains it. It is the abuser’s strongest weapon, creating an invisible prison built from threats, intimidation, and constant uncertainty. #DomesticAbuse

Domestic abuse victims describe life as walking on eggshells - fragile, tense, and one step away from danger.

Double Standards in Controlling Relationships: How Abusers Enforce Unfair Rules to Maintain Power

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 4d

Abusers demand attention when you're busy. Their entitlement means they won’t respect your time & will interrupt, expecting instant focus. If you don’t comply, they may rage, pout, act aggressively, or go silent. It’s a control tactic. 🚩

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 4d

Survivors often escape the abuse only to face disbelief or dismissal in family court. The system needs to catch up.
#coercivecontrol #domesticabuseawareness

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 4d

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. To honour it, I’ve opened the Shadows of Control Supporter subscriptions at 35% off — a quiet, survivor-centered home for reflection, healing, and connection.

Thank you to everyone who supports this work. 💜

shadowsofcontrol.substack.com

#DVAM2025

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

It starts with intensity—grand gestures, constant affection, promises of forever. Then slowly, something shifts. The warmth cools, the rules tighten, and control takes the stage.
#CoerciveControl

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

The invisible cage of #coercivecontrol is built piece by piece:

🔹 Criticism erodes self-esteem
🔹 Financial control limits independence
🔹 Isolation cuts off support
🔹 Gaslighting distorts reality

These tactics trap you. Coercive control is abuse.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

Abusers often apply double standards, forcing their partner to endlessly adhere to unreasonable rules while they disregard them without consequence. #DoubleStandards

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Learn about the harmful dynamics of double standards in controlling relationships. Survivors share their stories of enduring unfair rules and the emotional strain they face.

When Intimacy Becomes a Weapon: Revenge Porn as a Tool of Coercive Control

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

Isolation is a powerful tool. When the only voice you hear is theirs, it becomes harder to see the manipulation.
#PsychologicalAbuse

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 5d

The threat of non-consensual sharing of intimate images, also known as revenge porn, preys on a victim’s vulnerability, trust, and privacy, turning intimate moments into a weapon of fear and control. #CoerciveControl

shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...

Explore the sinister reality of revenge porn: how it preys on vulnerability and trust, turning intimate moments into weapons of fear and control.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 6d

Moving on' from domestic abuse is often spoken about like it’s one step, but it’s a journey that involves so many little moments of strength, patience, and compassion for yourself.

Physically leaving is just the beginning - the psychological side requires time, inner work and gentleness.

Survivors Share the Challenges They Faced Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 6d

“Why didn’t you just leave?” The truth is, leaving an abusive relationship is rarely simple. Fear, isolation, financial control, and threats often make escape feel impossible. Survivors’ stories reveal the barriers abusers build to trap and manipulate.

shadowsofcontrol.substack.c...

"Why didn’t you just leave?” This question, often asked of survivors of abuse, reveals a misunderstanding of the complex realities they’ve faced.

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Shadows of Control @shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social · 7d

Abuse is not defined by physical harm alone. Control, gaslighting, and constant criticism leave wounds too—just not the kind you can see.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness