Shadows of Control
@shadowsofcontrol.bsky.social
Writer, researcher, and survivor championing the fight against coercive control and domestic abuse. Freedom begins with awareness. https://shadowsofcontrol.substack.com/
Many survivors stay because of the intermittent kindness. Hope can be a trap when used to mask cycles of abuse.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
January 3, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Many survivors stay because of the intermittent kindness. Hope can be a trap when used to mask cycles of abuse.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Survivors often carry guilt for not leaving sooner. But abuse is designed to confuse, isolate, and erode your instincts. You didn’t fail—you survived the best way you could. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
January 2, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Survivors often carry guilt for not leaving sooner. But abuse is designed to confuse, isolate, and erode your instincts. You didn’t fail—you survived the best way you could. #DomesticAbuseAwareness
Not everything is as it seems with a controlling abuser - even gestures, gifts, and generosity can come with a hidden agenda.
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
January 1, 2026 at 12:29 AM
Not everything is as it seems with a controlling abuser - even gestures, gifts, and generosity can come with a hidden agenda.
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
December 31, 2025 at 1:02 PM
An abuser's parenting is all about meeting their own needs, rather than the child's needs.
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
December 29, 2025 at 1:02 PM
An abuser's parenting is all about meeting their own needs, rather than the child's needs.
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse
Abusers try to tell you what you believe, what you think, and what your intentions are, as though they could possibly know what is inside your head.
#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol
#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol
December 29, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Abusers try to tell you what you believe, what you think, and what your intentions are, as though they could possibly know what is inside your head.
#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol
#gaslighting #manipulation #emotionalabuse #coercivecontrol
December 28, 2025 at 1:02 PM
When in doubt, always choose YOUR memory, YOUR perception, YOUR beliefs!
#gaslighting #narcissist #emotionalabuse
#gaslighting #narcissist #emotionalabuse
December 27, 2025 at 12:30 AM
When in doubt, always choose YOUR memory, YOUR perception, YOUR beliefs!
#gaslighting #narcissist #emotionalabuse
#gaslighting #narcissist #emotionalabuse
For anyone still in the shadows... you don't need to stay in the darkness. No one should steal your light, ever!
December 26, 2025 at 1:02 PM
For anyone still in the shadows... you don't need to stay in the darkness. No one should steal your light, ever!
Coercive control doesn’t always show up as violence. Sometimes it’s the slow erasure of who you are.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
December 25, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Coercive control doesn’t always show up as violence. Sometimes it’s the slow erasure of who you are.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
Abuse doesn’t happen because the victim is weak. It happens because abusers are strategic, manipulative, and skilled at exploiting trust.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
December 24, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Abuse doesn’t happen because the victim is weak. It happens because abusers are strategic, manipulative, and skilled at exploiting trust.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
Property destruction is a form of intimidation. It’s not a ‘tantrum’—it’s calculated, threatening behaviour.
#DomesticViolence
#DomesticViolence
December 22, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Property destruction is a form of intimidation. It’s not a ‘tantrum’—it’s calculated, threatening behaviour.
#DomesticViolence
#DomesticViolence
Coercive control isn’t always loud. It’s a slow silencing. A steady erasure of who you are, until only they remain.
#CoerciveControl #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#CoerciveControl #DomesticAbuseAwareness
December 22, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Coercive control isn’t always loud. It’s a slow silencing. A steady erasure of who you are, until only they remain.
#CoerciveControl #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#CoerciveControl #DomesticAbuseAwareness
Abuse isn’t always obvious at first. It builds over time, slowly dismantling your identity while convincing you it’s your fault.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
December 21, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Abuse isn’t always obvious at first. It builds over time, slowly dismantling your identity while convincing you it’s your fault.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Leaving an abuser isn’t one moment. It’s a process. A terrifying untangling of everything they’ve made you believe—about yourself, your worth, and your safety.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
December 20, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Leaving an abuser isn’t one moment. It’s a process. A terrifying untangling of everything they’ve made you believe—about yourself, your worth, and your safety.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
This is how abuse becomes so entangling: the one who wounds you also becomes your relief.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
December 19, 2025 at 1:02 PM
This is how abuse becomes so entangling: the one who wounds you also becomes your relief.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Abusers often weaponize the children to exert control even after the relationship ends. This is one of the most dangerous and painful tactics survivors face.
#PostSeparationAbuse
#PostSeparationAbuse
December 13, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Abusers often weaponize the children to exert control even after the relationship ends. This is one of the most dangerous and painful tactics survivors face.
#PostSeparationAbuse
#PostSeparationAbuse
Many survivors never see a bruise, but still lose their freedom, voice, and identity. That too is abuse.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
December 12, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Many survivors never see a bruise, but still lose their freedom, voice, and identity. That too is abuse.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Abuse conditions you to believe you’re always falling short. But it was never about you not being enough—it was about their need to control. You were never the problem.
#EmotionalAbuse
#EmotionalAbuse
December 8, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Abuse conditions you to believe you’re always falling short. But it was never about you not being enough—it was about their need to control. You were never the problem.
#EmotionalAbuse
#EmotionalAbuse
When pushed past their limit, victims may react defensively. That’s not abuse—it’s survival under extreme pressure.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
December 8, 2025 at 12:29 AM
When pushed past their limit, victims may react defensively. That’s not abuse—it’s survival under extreme pressure.
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
#DomesticAbuseAwareness
Denial protects the abuser. It’s often easier for outsiders to doubt a survivor than face the horror that someone they know could be dangerous.
#BelieveSurvivors #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#BelieveSurvivors #DomesticAbuseAwareness
December 7, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Denial protects the abuser. It’s often easier for outsiders to doubt a survivor than face the horror that someone they know could be dangerous.
#BelieveSurvivors #DomesticAbuseAwareness
#BelieveSurvivors #DomesticAbuseAwareness
The words abusers use reveal their mindset and how they truly see you.
“You’re mine”
"I'll never let you go"
“No one looks at my girl”
“If I can’t have you, no one will”
These are not words of love. They are statements of ownership. 🚩
#DomesticAbuseAwareness #AbusiveMindset
“You’re mine”
"I'll never let you go"
“No one looks at my girl”
“If I can’t have you, no one will”
These are not words of love. They are statements of ownership. 🚩
#DomesticAbuseAwareness #AbusiveMindset
December 6, 2025 at 8:29 AM
The words abusers use reveal their mindset and how they truly see you.
“You’re mine”
"I'll never let you go"
“No one looks at my girl”
“If I can’t have you, no one will”
These are not words of love. They are statements of ownership. 🚩
#DomesticAbuseAwareness #AbusiveMindset
“You’re mine”
"I'll never let you go"
“No one looks at my girl”
“If I can’t have you, no one will”
These are not words of love. They are statements of ownership. 🚩
#DomesticAbuseAwareness #AbusiveMindset
Gaslighting is a strategy to rewrite your reality until you lose trust in your own mind.
#Gaslighting #PsychologicalAbuse
#Gaslighting #PsychologicalAbuse
December 6, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Gaslighting is a strategy to rewrite your reality until you lose trust in your own mind.
#Gaslighting #PsychologicalAbuse
#Gaslighting #PsychologicalAbuse
If only one person is expected to give, shrink, or accommodate—it’s not love. It’s control.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
December 5, 2025 at 1:02 PM
If only one person is expected to give, shrink, or accommodate—it’s not love. It’s control.
#CoerciveControl
#CoerciveControl
Real love doesn’t come with conditions. Abuse trains you to perform for affection—and punishes you for being yourself.
#EmotionalAbuse
#EmotionalAbuse
December 4, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Real love doesn’t come with conditions. Abuse trains you to perform for affection—and punishes you for being yourself.
#EmotionalAbuse
#EmotionalAbuse