Smiley Friend tomorrow btw comfort show is real again ouuuuhb FUCK life is awesome

me right now

#2 IS MINE HAIIIIII hiiii hey

smiles this is still Awesome me smiles

commissions i drew tonight!

I promise guys I try my hardest to not be a mean person, my brain just sucks and I have to filter so much shit out so I can sound relatively sane 💔

I love being (possibly) undiagnosed with C-PTSD and quiet BPD

I love that my brain has been permanently altered by my teenage years and my first reaction to anyone triggering my brain is “I will rip you to shreds and eat you alive” before wishing I would Die for overreacting so harshly

Will It Ever Get Better

Nvm guys it’s not full-time, I’ve been duped and I’m finding another job anyways because I’m losing my Mind 💔

how I'm looking with he/him in my bio

nvm gonna have a full-time job soon, health insurance issue will finally be dealt with
first steps to professional recovery + MAYBE by 2026, Lukey on T could finally be a possibility :d

Life Can Be Good guys

コピー能力？ 1-1

I want to be happy, I want to have the drive to draw again, I don’t want to constantly try to figure out wtf is wrong with my brain all the time, I don’t want to give up anymore

I want to feel human again

Idk I’m just so fucking tired of being mentally ill and feeling incapable of turning my life around

There’s only so much I could do about it on my own but a lot of it requires actual treatment from a professional, which I avoided for a long time because I wasn’t in a safe environment at the time

So many regrets I have in my life + having severe, unresolved trauma + a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms resurfacing and bringing worse out of me in ways it didn’t before = not really fun!

Especially when I can’t afford therapy rn, still trying to get my health insurance situated right now lmao

// suicidal ideation

At a bit of a rough point, don’t know if anyone will see this but I think about ending it SO fucking often

Don’t actually want to die, never gonna attempt, but it’s tempting when I’m rlly deep into depressive episodes + experiencing a lot of physical pain due to my job

The silly before the storm

#tadc #theamazingdigitalcircus #rolyartioli #artsky

The system doesn't want you to be safe, it wants you to be constantly terrified that you aren't. It wants us hurting and judging and shaming each other so we don't see who's actually bleeding us. It wants us stressed tf out 24/7 babyyyyy.

Fighting back starts with freeing your mind

I am a genderqueer manthing freak and my gender is a transmasculine anomaly and I’m finally willing to accept that I don’t have to be binary to still not be ok with people stripping my identity as a man away

gender is my sandbox and I’m fucking playing around in it lalalalalala

I have thoughts of wanting to go by all masc/fem/neu terms + pronouns but I’m not sure if I’m comfy with it yet until I’m able to go on T in the (VERY hopefully) near future and can finally be more secure in my physical + social presentation

I still say I am male to people because

1.) my maleness still takes priority, and
2.) I’m more comfortable being seen as male/masc than a gender neutral void despite my identity being a very ambiguous thing to begin with

“I’m genderqueer but I’m also still a binary man I swear” bro no you are NOT binary

how come you literally feel like your gender is an incomprehensible Thing and your maleness is fluid and feels like it comes in and then fucks off when it feels like it

Does that sound “binary” to you

Accepted that I’m a nonbinary man a couple of weeks ago and honestly it feels weird to think about yet freeing

I was too much of a pussy to come to terms with it for like 2 years due to some sort of internalized transphobia I had because I don’t like when people strip my masculinity away

L

GOT MILK FULL ANIMATIC PITCH!! #gotmilk #art