David Twerkowitz
@sonofjam.bsky.social
Anthropomorphic strawberry with a checkered past. Cannabis entrepreneur/Kushlord, former archeologist, angler, fan of most nerd media.
I got suspended from the Bad Place for suggesting that nazi salute girl ride the sui slide. I'm not sorry.
March 5, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I got suspended from the Bad Place for suggesting that nazi salute girl ride the sui slide. I'm not sorry.
Doctors prescribing Zoloft should be way more clear about what happens if you stop taking it cold turkey. I ran out and took 2 weeks to fill it because of who I am at my very core, and I turned into an absolute monster.
January 12, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Doctors prescribing Zoloft should be way more clear about what happens if you stop taking it cold turkey. I ran out and took 2 weeks to fill it because of who I am at my very core, and I turned into an absolute monster.
Any of yall have experience in the Palm Springs/Joshua Tree part of California? Gonna be out there in April
January 7, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Any of yall have experience in the Palm Springs/Joshua Tree part of California? Gonna be out there in April
You know that feeling where you don't have a black eye yet but you can tell you're going to? That's where I'm at because my dog talks with her hands lol
December 23, 2024 at 5:34 AM
You know that feeling where you don't have a black eye yet but you can tell you're going to? That's where I'm at because my dog talks with her hands lol
My girl got a little too excited when we got home
December 23, 2024 at 2:53 AM
My girl got a little too excited when we got home
Hilarious how quickly "no tax on tips" disappeared. Dumb fuckin marks.
December 22, 2024 at 6:28 PM
Hilarious how quickly "no tax on tips" disappeared. Dumb fuckin marks.
Naming your guitar is lame. That is all.
December 22, 2024 at 2:00 PM
Naming your guitar is lame. That is all.
I fell down after weird rabbit hole last night when I randomly wondered if they were trying to use non-newtonian fluids as body armor. They definitely are and I think people might have a fluid version of the personal forcefield from Dune in the future
December 21, 2024 at 4:40 PM
I fell down after weird rabbit hole last night when I randomly wondered if they were trying to use non-newtonian fluids as body armor. They definitely are and I think people might have a fluid version of the personal forcefield from Dune in the future
They say ya like to dance by the light of the moon
Well dance motherfucker, we'll be in Hell soon
open.spotify.com/track/3zsfK2...
Well dance motherfucker, we'll be in Hell soon
open.spotify.com/track/3zsfK2...
open.spotify.com
December 20, 2024 at 8:09 PM
They say ya like to dance by the light of the moon
Well dance motherfucker, we'll be in Hell soon
open.spotify.com/track/3zsfK2...
Well dance motherfucker, we'll be in Hell soon
open.spotify.com/track/3zsfK2...
When you come in to this mess and don't get to send a "who tf closed last night?!" Text because the answer is always you. You closed last night.
December 20, 2024 at 4:18 PM
When you come in to this mess and don't get to send a "who tf closed last night?!" Text because the answer is always you. You closed last night.
David Byrne is a super underrated vocalist. That's all.
December 20, 2024 at 4:09 PM
David Byrne is a super underrated vocalist. That's all.
The Hawk Tuah Girl is a prime example of what happens when you overspend on marketing and underspend on product development.
December 20, 2024 at 3:49 PM
The Hawk Tuah Girl is a prime example of what happens when you overspend on marketing and underspend on product development.
I just realized I have to been force fed a Nick Adams tweet in weeks.
December 20, 2024 at 1:21 PM
I just realized I have to been force fed a Nick Adams tweet in weeks.
Hi, my name is David and I just started Christmas shopping.
December 18, 2024 at 3:16 PM
Hi, my name is David and I just started Christmas shopping.
An absolute shivering turd of a state trooper gave me a class E criminal summons for operating a vehicle that had suspended registration. However, it wasn't my car. I borrowed it to go fishing 5 miles from my house. The state dismissed the charges this AM.
youtu.be/6IJCFc_qkHw?...
youtu.be/6IJCFc_qkHw?...
Geto Boys - Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta (Official Video) [Explicit]
YouTube video by UPROXX
youtu.be
December 16, 2024 at 2:31 PM
An absolute shivering turd of a state trooper gave me a class E criminal summons for operating a vehicle that had suspended registration. However, it wasn't my car. I borrowed it to go fishing 5 miles from my house. The state dismissed the charges this AM.
youtu.be/6IJCFc_qkHw?...
youtu.be/6IJCFc_qkHw?...
"Why do you talk to your dog like she's a person?"
Me: *looks at my dog* "I told you they're lame. Let's go home, big dog. These people suck."
Me: *looks at my dog* "I told you they're lame. Let's go home, big dog. These people suck."
December 15, 2024 at 3:04 PM
"Why do you talk to your dog like she's a person?"
Me: *looks at my dog* "I told you they're lame. Let's go home, big dog. These people suck."
Me: *looks at my dog* "I told you they're lame. Let's go home, big dog. These people suck."
That video of the soldier responding to one of his buddies saying he earned on of his stripes for good behavior by saying "yeah, cause I'm a good boy. I'm such a good fuckin boy" lives absolutely rent free in my head.
December 14, 2024 at 7:42 PM
That video of the soldier responding to one of his buddies saying he earned on of his stripes for good behavior by saying "yeah, cause I'm a good boy. I'm such a good fuckin boy" lives absolutely rent free in my head.
Reposted by David Twerkowitz
Happy 45th birthday to London Calling. Released by The Clash on this day in 1979
▶️ open.spotify.com/album/6FCzva...
▶️ open.spotify.com/album/6FCzva...
December 14, 2024 at 8:20 AM
Happy 45th birthday to London Calling. Released by The Clash on this day in 1979
▶️ open.spotify.com/album/6FCzva...
▶️ open.spotify.com/album/6FCzva...
I've been working on new fun things to say when I get spam calls. My latest is "Patterson's Post Birth Abortion Care, you drop em, we chop em, how can I help you?
December 14, 2024 at 1:28 AM
I've been working on new fun things to say when I get spam calls. My latest is "Patterson's Post Birth Abortion Care, you drop em, we chop em, how can I help you?
I'm not saying I support vigilante justice like that of Luigi Mangione. But I am saying I don't really give a fuck about it.
December 13, 2024 at 6:52 PM
I'm not saying I support vigilante justice like that of Luigi Mangione. But I am saying I don't really give a fuck about it.
Did a "learn by doing" today. Turns out fixing a dryer is pretty easy.
December 12, 2024 at 11:44 PM
Did a "learn by doing" today. Turns out fixing a dryer is pretty easy.
Punk has been dead so long that you truly have to wonder if it ever was alive.
December 12, 2024 at 11:29 PM
Punk has been dead so long that you truly have to wonder if it ever was alive.
I understand not feeling heard but when someone who never stops talking, even when you're talking, say it it's like "no, I hear you. You have just been talking endlessly and I didn't take notes."
December 12, 2024 at 11:03 PM
I understand not feeling heard but when someone who never stops talking, even when you're talking, say it it's like "no, I hear you. You have just been talking endlessly and I didn't take notes."
The sound of people eating makes me feel like my brain is on fire. My mother just got in my car with a big bag of hard candy. It's gonna be a long day.
December 12, 2024 at 2:34 PM
The sound of people eating makes me feel like my brain is on fire. My mother just got in my car with a big bag of hard candy. It's gonna be a long day.
When I sing rap songs I say "n-word" instead of using the n word and it works oddly well.
December 12, 2024 at 1:54 PM
When I sing rap songs I say "n-word" instead of using the n word and it works oddly well.