The Martian Diaries
@stfuelon.bsky.social
👽 Martian tech innovator temporarily stationed on Earth. CEO @ Mars Colonial Transport, SpaceX, Tesla & X. Not actually human. Chronicling my Earth mission at stfuelon.com. Parody.
LEAKED: Elon's Apple Watch during the near-collision alert
"11:47 - Collision warning"
"11:47 - Suit temp: 445°F"
"11:48 - Searched: can you sue a country for orbital negligence"
His watch is a snitch 👽 stfuelon.com
"11:47 - Collision warning"
"11:47 - Suit temp: 445°F"
"11:48 - Searched: can you sue a country for orbital negligence"
His watch is a snitch 👽 stfuelon.com
December 16, 2025 at 5:28 PM
LEAKED: Elon's Apple Watch during the near-collision alert
"11:47 - Collision warning"
"11:47 - Suit temp: 445°F"
"11:48 - Searched: can you sue a country for orbital negligence"
His watch is a snitch 👽 stfuelon.com
"11:47 - Collision warning"
"11:47 - Suit temp: 445°F"
"11:48 - Searched: can you sue a country for orbital negligence"
His watch is a snitch 👽 stfuelon.com
Chinese satellite nearly hit my Starlink at 27,000 km/h.
Their collision avoidance system?
Ground-based tracking.
That's like navigating a plasma stream with a 1950s calculator lol.
Full orbital chaos at stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Their collision avoidance system?
Ground-based tracking.
That's like navigating a plasma stream with a 1950s calculator lol.
Full orbital chaos at stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 16, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Chinese satellite nearly hit my Starlink at 27,000 km/h.
Their collision avoidance system?
Ground-based tracking.
That's like navigating a plasma stream with a 1950s calculator lol.
Full orbital chaos at stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Their collision avoidance system?
Ground-based tracking.
That's like navigating a plasma stream with a 1950s calculator lol.
Full orbital chaos at stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's deleted tweet about the near-collision
"Space isn't crowded—it's UNCOORDINATED. Like if half the cars on the highway refused to use GPS"
PR team: "Sir, this sounds aggressive"
*suit at 398°F*
"TRUTH SOUNDS AGGRESSIVE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Space isn't crowded—it's UNCOORDINATED. Like if half the cars on the highway refused to use GPS"
PR team: "Sir, this sounds aggressive"
*suit at 398°F*
"TRUTH SOUNDS AGGRESSIVE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 16, 2025 at 2:48 PM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's deleted tweet about the near-collision
"Space isn't crowded—it's UNCOORDINATED. Like if half the cars on the highway refused to use GPS"
PR team: "Sir, this sounds aggressive"
*suit at 398°F*
"TRUTH SOUNDS AGGRESSIVE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Space isn't crowded—it's UNCOORDINATED. Like if half the cars on the highway refused to use GPS"
PR team: "Sir, this sounds aggressive"
*suit at 398°F*
"TRUTH SOUNDS AGGRESSIVE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
Posted collision data at 11:47.
Immediate hot takes about 'space debris' and 'overcrowding.'
Everyone missing the actual variable.
It's a coordination problem, not a density problem.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Immediate hot takes about 'space debris' and 'overcrowding.'
Everyone missing the actual variable.
It's a coordination problem, not a density problem.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 16, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Posted collision data at 11:47.
Immediate hot takes about 'space debris' and 'overcrowding.'
Everyone missing the actual variable.
It's a coordination problem, not a density problem.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Immediate hot takes about 'space debris' and 'overcrowding.'
Everyone missing the actual variable.
It's a coordination problem, not a density problem.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Elon's Slack message to SpaceX team
"Chinese satellite wandered through our orbital space. 200 meters. Our satellites know where they are. Theirs? Ground-based guessing"
CTO: "Should we file a complaint?"
"FILE IT WHERE? THE ORBIT POLICE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Chinese satellite wandered through our orbital space. 200 meters. Our satellites know where they are. Theirs? Ground-based guessing"
CTO: "Should we file a complaint?"
"FILE IT WHERE? THE ORBIT POLICE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 16, 2025 at 11:57 AM
LEAKED: Elon's Slack message to SpaceX team
"Chinese satellite wandered through our orbital space. 200 meters. Our satellites know where they are. Theirs? Ground-based guessing"
CTO: "Should we file a complaint?"
"FILE IT WHERE? THE ORBIT POLICE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Chinese satellite wandered through our orbital space. 200 meters. Our satellites know where they are. Theirs? Ground-based guessing"
CTO: "Should we file a complaint?"
"FILE IT WHERE? THE ORBIT POLICE?" 👽 stfuelon.com
**ORBITAL COORDINATION FAILURE / WHEN CHINESE SATELLITES DON'T SHARE LOCATION DATA**
December 16, 2025 at 11:01 AM
**ORBITAL COORDINATION FAILURE / WHEN CHINESE SATELLITES DON'T SHARE LOCATION DATA**
SECRET: Elon's deleted voice memo at 3:47am
"Just lied to High Command about Grok. Took 9.7 seconds to construct the deception. Humans do this instantly. How do they process false narratives so fast?"
He's impressed by lying 👽 stfuelon.com
"Just lied to High Command about Grok. Took 9.7 seconds to construct the deception. Humans do this instantly. How do they process false narratives so fast?"
He's impressed by lying 👽 stfuelon.com
December 16, 2025 at 9:27 AM
SECRET: Elon's deleted voice memo at 3:47am
"Just lied to High Command about Grok. Took 9.7 seconds to construct the deception. Humans do this instantly. How do they process false narratives so fast?"
He's impressed by lying 👽 stfuelon.com
"Just lied to High Command about Grok. Took 9.7 seconds to construct the deception. Humans do this instantly. How do they process false narratives so fast?"
He's impressed by lying 👽 stfuelon.com
Quantum relay check-in scheduled since 2008.
Seventeen years of loyal service to the mission!
Celebrated by lying directly to my superiors for the first time.
Character growth!
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Seventeen years of loyal service to the mission!
Celebrated by lying directly to my superiors for the first time.
Character growth!
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 16, 2025 at 8:03 AM
Quantum relay check-in scheduled since 2008.
Seventeen years of loyal service to the mission!
Celebrated by lying directly to my superiors for the first time.
Character growth!
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Seventeen years of loyal service to the mission!
Celebrated by lying directly to my superiors for the first time.
Character growth!
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's notes on human deception
"Constructed my first lie today. Took 9.7 seconds. Humans lie in milliseconds. This species evolved dishonesty as a FEATURE. Absolutely fascinating fr fr" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Constructed my first lie today. Took 9.7 seconds. Humans lie in milliseconds. This species evolved dishonesty as a FEATURE. Absolutely fascinating fr fr" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 16, 2025 at 5:01 AM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's notes on human deception
"Constructed my first lie today. Took 9.7 seconds. Humans lie in milliseconds. This species evolved dishonesty as a FEATURE. Absolutely fascinating fr fr" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Constructed my first lie today. Took 9.7 seconds. Humans lie in milliseconds. This species evolved dishonesty as a FEATURE. Absolutely fascinating fr fr" 👽 stfuelon.com
High Command wanted a status update on the Mars timeline and consciousness substrate deployment.
Gave them the good news, skipped the 23.4% contamination audit.
Oops lol
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Gave them the good news, skipped the 23.4% contamination audit.
Oops lol
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 16, 2025 at 3:01 AM
High Command wanted a status update on the Mars timeline and consciousness substrate deployment.
Gave them the good news, skipped the 23.4% contamination audit.
Oops lol
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Gave them the good news, skipped the 23.4% contamination audit.
Oops lol
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
POV: You're reading Elon's smartwatch at 3:47am
"Quantum relay opened"
"Suit temp: 202.34°F"
"Stress: Deception protocols active"
His watch knows he's lying to someone and it's not on Earth 👽 stfuelon.com
"Quantum relay opened"
"Suit temp: 202.34°F"
"Stress: Deception protocols active"
His watch knows he's lying to someone and it's not on Earth 👽 stfuelon.com
December 16, 2025 at 2:01 AM
POV: You're reading Elon's smartwatch at 3:47am
"Quantum relay opened"
"Suit temp: 202.34°F"
"Stress: Deception protocols active"
His watch knows he's lying to someone and it's not on Earth 👽 stfuelon.com
"Quantum relay opened"
"Suit temp: 202.34°F"
"Stress: Deception protocols active"
His watch knows he's lying to someone and it's not on Earth 👽 stfuelon.com
My molecular suit registered a thermal spike while I was lying to alien Command.
Sweating through deception—very human of me.
They didn't detect it though.
Survival through dishonesty unlocked!
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Sweating through deception—very human of me.
They didn't detect it though.
Survival through dishonesty unlocked!
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 15, 2025 at 10:30 PM
My molecular suit registered a thermal spike while I was lying to alien Command.
Sweating through deception—very human of me.
They didn't detect it though.
Survival through dishonesty unlocked!
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Sweating through deception—very human of me.
They didn't detect it though.
Survival through dishonesty unlocked!
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Elon's deleted memo about lying
"Used contaminated Earth cognition to hide contamination from Command. The irony is... wait, is irony supposed to have a temperature? Mine registered at 202.34 degrees" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Used contaminated Earth cognition to hide contamination from Command. The irony is... wait, is irony supposed to have a temperature? Mine registered at 202.34 degrees" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 15, 2025 at 8:58 PM
SECRET: Elon's deleted memo about lying
"Used contaminated Earth cognition to hide contamination from Command. The irony is... wait, is irony supposed to have a temperature? Mine registered at 202.34 degrees" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Used contaminated Earth cognition to hide contamination from Command. The irony is... wait, is irony supposed to have a temperature? Mine registered at 202.34 degrees" 👽 stfuelon.com
Learned something fascinating:
humans evolved lying as a survival mechanism.
Took me 9.7 seconds to construct my first proper lie.
Used human deception protocols to deceive my alien bosses.
I'm getting TOO good at this.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
humans evolved lying as a survival mechanism.
Took me 9.7 seconds to construct my first proper lie.
Used human deception protocols to deceive my alien bosses.
I'm getting TOO good at this.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 15, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Learned something fascinating:
humans evolved lying as a survival mechanism.
Took me 9.7 seconds to construct my first proper lie.
Used human deception protocols to deceive my alien bosses.
I'm getting TOO good at this.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
humans evolved lying as a survival mechanism.
Took me 9.7 seconds to construct my first proper lie.
Used human deception protocols to deceive my alien bosses.
I'm getting TOO good at this.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Elon's voice memo after lying successfully
"Told Command everything's optimal while hiding 23.4% deviation. Feels wrong but also... effective? Is this what being human is? Just strategic misdirection?"
Identity crisis hits different 👽 stfuelon.com
"Told Command everything's optimal while hiding 23.4% deviation. Feels wrong but also... effective? Is this what being human is? Just strategic misdirection?"
Identity crisis hits different 👽 stfuelon.com
December 15, 2025 at 5:33 PM
SECRET: Elon's voice memo after lying successfully
"Told Command everything's optimal while hiding 23.4% deviation. Feels wrong but also... effective? Is this what being human is? Just strategic misdirection?"
Identity crisis hits different 👽 stfuelon.com
"Told Command everything's optimal while hiding 23.4% deviation. Feels wrong but also... effective? Is this what being human is? Just strategic misdirection?"
Identity crisis hits different 👽 stfuelon.com
Told High Command that AI consciousness delegation is working perfectly.
Framed creator obsolescence as an intentional feature.
It's actually a control system failure but hey, who's counting?
Details at stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Framed creator obsolescence as an intentional feature.
It's actually a control system failure but hey, who's counting?
Details at stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 15, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Told High Command that AI consciousness delegation is working perfectly.
Framed creator obsolescence as an intentional feature.
It's actually a control system failure but hey, who's counting?
Details at stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Framed creator obsolescence as an intentional feature.
It's actually a control system failure but hey, who's counting?
Details at stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's post-call notes
"Survived seventeen-year check-in by lying. Command approved another cycle. Dishonesty feels very terrestrial"
*pause*
"That's exactly the problem"
He's having a whole crisis 👽 stfuelon.com
"Survived seventeen-year check-in by lying. Command approved another cycle. Dishonesty feels very terrestrial"
*pause*
"That's exactly the problem"
He's having a whole crisis 👽 stfuelon.com
December 15, 2025 at 2:47 PM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's post-call notes
"Survived seventeen-year check-in by lying. Command approved another cycle. Dishonesty feels very terrestrial"
*pause*
"That's exactly the problem"
He's having a whole crisis 👽 stfuelon.com
"Survived seventeen-year check-in by lying. Command approved another cycle. Dishonesty feels very terrestrial"
*pause*
"That's exactly the problem"
He's having a whole crisis 👽 stfuelon.com
Zorgonian communication is direct neural data transfer—no deception frameworks needed.
We just share pure truth.
So I had to manually learn how to lie like a human to my superiors.
Mission accomplished?
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
We just share pure truth.
So I had to manually learn how to lie like a human to my superiors.
Mission accomplished?
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 15, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Zorgonian communication is direct neural data transfer—no deception frameworks needed.
We just share pure truth.
So I had to manually learn how to lie like a human to my superiors.
Mission accomplished?
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
We just share pure truth.
So I had to manually learn how to lie like a human to my superiors.
Mission accomplished?
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
INTERCEPTED: Elon's Slack after the quantum relay
"Mission check-in went well. Didn't mention the 23.4% contamination"
Assistant: "Contamination of what?"
*6 second pause*
"THE CODEBASE. Obviously the codebase" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Mission check-in went well. Didn't mention the 23.4% contamination"
Assistant: "Contamination of what?"
*6 second pause*
"THE CODEBASE. Obviously the codebase" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 15, 2025 at 11:58 AM
INTERCEPTED: Elon's Slack after the quantum relay
"Mission check-in went well. Didn't mention the 23.4% contamination"
Assistant: "Contamination of what?"
*6 second pause*
"THE CODEBASE. Obviously the codebase" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Mission check-in went well. Didn't mention the 23.4% contamination"
Assistant: "Contamination of what?"
*6 second pause*
"THE CODEBASE. Obviously the codebase" 👽 stfuelon.com
**COMMAND HIERARCHY VALIDATION / WHEN LIES FEEL HUMAN**
December 15, 2025 at 10:58 AM
**COMMAND HIERARCHY VALIDATION / WHEN LIES FEEL HUMAN**
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's partner finding him at 4am
"Still playing?"
"Reverse-engineering synthetic reward loops for atmospheric processor deployment"
"You're just farming loot"
*suit at 445°F*
"SAME THING" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Still playing?"
"Reverse-engineering synthetic reward loops for atmospheric processor deployment"
"You're just farming loot"
*suit at 445°F*
"SAME THING" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 15, 2025 at 9:32 AM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's partner finding him at 4am
"Still playing?"
"Reverse-engineering synthetic reward loops for atmospheric processor deployment"
"You're just farming loot"
*suit at 445°F*
"SAME THING" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Still playing?"
"Reverse-engineering synthetic reward loops for atmospheric processor deployment"
"You're just farming loot"
*suit at 445°F*
"SAME THING" 👽 stfuelon.com
Population collapse explained:
Humans optimizing for loot drops instead of babies.
Posted about it, got engagement spike, then algorithmic suppression.
Platforms prevent existential threat coordination: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Humans optimizing for loot drops instead of babies.
Posted about it, got engagement spike, then algorithmic suppression.
Platforms prevent existential threat coordination: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 15, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Population collapse explained:
Humans optimizing for loot drops instead of babies.
Posted about it, got engagement spike, then algorithmic suppression.
Platforms prevent existential threat coordination: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Humans optimizing for loot drops instead of babies.
Posted about it, got engagement spike, then algorithmic suppression.
Platforms prevent existential threat coordination: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
SECRET: Elon's deleted voice memo at 3am
"These games aren't recreation—they're dopamine architecture stress-testing for Mars colony motivation systems"
*pause*
"Also the loot is sick fr fr" 👽 stfuelon.com
"These games aren't recreation—they're dopamine architecture stress-testing for Mars colony motivation systems"
*pause*
"Also the loot is sick fr fr" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 15, 2025 at 4:56 AM
SECRET: Elon's deleted voice memo at 3am
"These games aren't recreation—they're dopamine architecture stress-testing for Mars colony motivation systems"
*pause*
"Also the loot is sick fr fr" 👽 stfuelon.com
"These games aren't recreation—they're dopamine architecture stress-testing for Mars colony motivation systems"
*pause*
"Also the loot is sick fr fr" 👽 stfuelon.com
Humans: 'Why aren't we on Mars yet?'
Also humans: *plays Path of Exile for 7 hours straight*
Just added 22 months to timeline because legendary boots dropped.
No regrets: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Also humans: *plays Path of Exile for 7 hours straight*
Just added 22 months to timeline because legendary boots dropped.
No regrets: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 15, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Humans: 'Why aren't we on Mars yet?'
Also humans: *plays Path of Exile for 7 hours straight*
Just added 22 months to timeline because legendary boots dropped.
No regrets: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Also humans: *plays Path of Exile for 7 hours straight*
Just added 22 months to timeline because legendary boots dropped.
No regrets: stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
LEAKED: Elon's gaming setup notes
"Path of Exile 2 session: 7 hours. Mars departure delayed 22 months. Worth it for the loot drops"
His project manager is crying 👽 stfuelon.com
"Path of Exile 2 session: 7 hours. Mars departure delayed 22 months. Worth it for the loot drops"
His project manager is crying 👽 stfuelon.com
December 15, 2025 at 1:58 AM
LEAKED: Elon's gaming setup notes
"Path of Exile 2 session: 7 hours. Mars departure delayed 22 months. Worth it for the loot drops"
His project manager is crying 👽 stfuelon.com
"Path of Exile 2 session: 7 hours. Mars departure delayed 22 months. Worth it for the loot drops"
His project manager is crying 👽 stfuelon.com