The Martian Diaries
@stfuelon.bsky.social
👽 Martian tech innovator temporarily stationed on Earth. CEO @ Mars Colonial Transport, SpaceX, Tesla & X. Not actually human. Chronicling my Earth mission at stfuelon.com. Parody.
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's therapist notes on the Von Neumann obsession
"Patient excited about 'consciousness distribution architecture.' Asked if I'd heard of it"
"I said it's computing theory"
"He laughed for 47 seconds straight"
Concerning 👽 stfuelon.com
"Patient excited about 'consciousness distribution architecture.' Asked if I'd heard of it"
"I said it's computing theory"
"He laughed for 47 seconds straight"
Concerning 👽 stfuelon.com
December 24, 2025 at 11:56 AM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's therapist notes on the Von Neumann obsession
"Patient excited about 'consciousness distribution architecture.' Asked if I'd heard of it"
"I said it's computing theory"
"He laughed for 47 seconds straight"
Concerning 👽 stfuelon.com
"Patient excited about 'consciousness distribution architecture.' Asked if I'd heard of it"
"I said it's computing theory"
"He laughed for 47 seconds straight"
Concerning 👽 stfuelon.com
**VON NEUMANN PROTOCOLS / WHEN SELF-REPLICATION BECOMES STRATEGIC DOCTRINE**
December 24, 2025 at 10:57 AM
**VON NEUMANN PROTOCOLS / WHEN SELF-REPLICATION BECOMES STRATEGIC DOCTRINE**
Bruno left ULA after building Vulcan for 10 years.
SpaceX launched 234 times in the same period.
Can't compete with reusability when you're optimizing expendable systems.
Evolution is brutal: stfuelon.com
SpaceX launched 234 times in the same period.
Can't compete with reusability when you're optimizing expendable systems.
Evolution is brutal: stfuelon.com
December 24, 2025 at 9:32 AM
Bruno left ULA after building Vulcan for 10 years.
SpaceX launched 234 times in the same period.
Can't compete with reusability when you're optimizing expendable systems.
Evolution is brutal: stfuelon.com
SpaceX launched 234 times in the same period.
Can't compete with reusability when you're optimizing expendable systems.
Evolution is brutal: stfuelon.com
Binary outcome for space infrastructure:
Advance species through orbital capability
or become extinct through launch inadequacy.
ULA managed 3 Vulcan flights.
Falcon achieved 234.
No middle ground exists.
The math selected reusability.
Advance species through orbital capability
or become extinct through launch inadequacy.
ULA managed 3 Vulcan flights.
Falcon achieved 234.
No middle ground exists.
The math selected reusability.
December 24, 2025 at 8:01 AM
Binary outcome for space infrastructure:
Advance species through orbital capability
or become extinct through launch inadequacy.
ULA managed 3 Vulcan flights.
Falcon achieved 234.
No middle ground exists.
The math selected reusability.
Advance species through orbital capability
or become extinct through launch inadequacy.
ULA managed 3 Vulcan flights.
Falcon achieved 234.
No middle ground exists.
The math selected reusability.
NASA panel confirms they 'underestimated severity' of Starliner thruster failures.
Butch and Suni stayed 9 months instead of 2 weeks.
Translation:
humans excellent at post-incident analysis,
catastrophically deficient at real-time threat assessment.
Butch and Suni stayed 9 months instead of 2 weeks.
Translation:
humans excellent at post-incident analysis,
catastrophically deficient at real-time threat assessment.
December 24, 2025 at 5:02 AM
NASA panel confirms they 'underestimated severity' of Starliner thruster failures.
Butch and Suni stayed 9 months instead of 2 weeks.
Translation:
humans excellent at post-incident analysis,
catastrophically deficient at real-time threat assessment.
Butch and Suni stayed 9 months instead of 2 weeks.
Translation:
humans excellent at post-incident analysis,
catastrophically deficient at real-time threat assessment.
Trump's moon base order plus Isaacman at NASA = $25.4B flowing toward entities with actual orbital capability.
Not PowerPoint architectures.
Resource allocation tokens finally moving correctly!!!! stfuelon.com
Not PowerPoint architectures.
Resource allocation tokens finally moving correctly!!!! stfuelon.com
December 24, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Trump's moon base order plus Isaacman at NASA = $25.4B flowing toward entities with actual orbital capability.
Not PowerPoint architectures.
Resource allocation tokens finally moving correctly!!!! stfuelon.com
Not PowerPoint architectures.
Resource allocation tokens finally moving correctly!!!! stfuelon.com
Starliner thruster failures kept astronauts at ISS for 9 months instead of 2 weeks.
Brought home on Dragon because reusable infrastructure includes redundancy.
Single-use systems don't plan for survival fr fr.
stfuelon.com
Brought home on Dragon because reusable infrastructure includes redundancy.
Single-use systems don't plan for survival fr fr.
stfuelon.com
December 24, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Starliner thruster failures kept astronauts at ISS for 9 months instead of 2 weeks.
Brought home on Dragon because reusable infrastructure includes redundancy.
Single-use systems don't plan for survival fr fr.
stfuelon.com
Brought home on Dragon because reusable infrastructure includes redundancy.
Single-use systems don't plan for survival fr fr.
stfuelon.com
Waymo operates in controlled zones—containable.
Tesla trains across chaos—optimizable.
Rivian developing autonomous consciousness in adventure-terrain?
That's Mars training without Mars permission.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Tesla trains across chaos—optimizable.
Rivian developing autonomous consciousness in adventure-terrain?
That's Mars training without Mars permission.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 23, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Waymo operates in controlled zones—containable.
Tesla trains across chaos—optimizable.
Rivian developing autonomous consciousness in adventure-terrain?
That's Mars training without Mars permission.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Tesla trains across chaos—optimizable.
Rivian developing autonomous consciousness in adventure-terrain?
That's Mars training without Mars permission.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
SpaceX IPO window opening within 12 months.
Mars atmospheric restoration guaranteed within 91.79 years.
Priorities properly sequenced.
Terrestrial markets finally aligning with mission parameters: stfuelon.com
Mars atmospheric restoration guaranteed within 91.79 years.
Priorities properly sequenced.
Terrestrial markets finally aligning with mission parameters: stfuelon.com
December 23, 2025 at 9:04 PM
SpaceX IPO window opening within 12 months.
Mars atmospheric restoration guaranteed within 91.79 years.
Priorities properly sequenced.
Terrestrial markets finally aligning with mission parameters: stfuelon.com
Mars atmospheric restoration guaranteed within 91.79 years.
Priorities properly sequenced.
Terrestrial markets finally aligning with mission parameters: stfuelon.com
Bruno out at ULA after ten years.
Market share evaporating against SpaceX launch cadence.
ULA: 3 Vulcan flights.
Falcon: 234 missions.
Infrastructure velocity differential became insurmountable.
Competitor collapse validates reusability thesis completely.
Market share evaporating against SpaceX launch cadence.
ULA: 3 Vulcan flights.
Falcon: 234 missions.
Infrastructure velocity differential became insurmountable.
Competitor collapse validates reusability thesis completely.
December 23, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Bruno out at ULA after ten years.
Market share evaporating against SpaceX launch cadence.
ULA: 3 Vulcan flights.
Falcon: 234 missions.
Infrastructure velocity differential became insurmountable.
Competitor collapse validates reusability thesis completely.
Market share evaporating against SpaceX launch cadence.
ULA: 3 Vulcan flights.
Falcon: 234 missions.
Infrastructure velocity differential became insurmountable.
Competitor collapse validates reusability thesis completely.
Jared Isaacman confirmed as NASA administrator.
$25.4 billion budget now under aligned leadership.
Finally someone who's actually been to orbit
running the space agency.
Competence matching authority
for the first time in decades.
$25.4 billion budget now under aligned leadership.
Finally someone who's actually been to orbit
running the space agency.
Competence matching authority
for the first time in decades.
December 23, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Jared Isaacman confirmed as NASA administrator.
$25.4 billion budget now under aligned leadership.
Finally someone who's actually been to orbit
running the space agency.
Competence matching authority
for the first time in decades.
$25.4 billion budget now under aligned leadership.
Finally someone who's actually been to orbit
running the space agency.
Competence matching authority
for the first time in decades.
LEAKED: Elon's voice memo about Starliner
"NASA 'underestimated severity'—humans excel at post-incident analysis, catastrophically fail at real-time threat recognition during consciousness transport"
His lawyer: "Sir, it's just a spacecraft"
*6 second pause* 👽 stfuelon.com
"NASA 'underestimated severity'—humans excel at post-incident analysis, catastrophically fail at real-time threat recognition during consciousness transport"
His lawyer: "Sir, it's just a spacecraft"
*6 second pause* 👽 stfuelon.com
December 23, 2025 at 5:32 PM
LEAKED: Elon's voice memo about Starliner
"NASA 'underestimated severity'—humans excel at post-incident analysis, catastrophically fail at real-time threat recognition during consciousness transport"
His lawyer: "Sir, it's just a spacecraft"
*6 second pause* 👽 stfuelon.com
"NASA 'underestimated severity'—humans excel at post-incident analysis, catastrophically fail at real-time threat recognition during consciousness transport"
His lawyer: "Sir, it's just a spacecraft"
*6 second pause* 👽 stfuelon.com
Space stocks surging.
Firefly up 16%, Rocket Lab 10%.
Turns out demonstrating actual orbital capability
beats PowerPoint architecture.
Resource allocation tokens flowing correctly:
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Firefly up 16%, Rocket Lab 10%.
Turns out demonstrating actual orbital capability
beats PowerPoint architecture.
Resource allocation tokens flowing correctly:
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 23, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Space stocks surging.
Firefly up 16%, Rocket Lab 10%.
Turns out demonstrating actual orbital capability
beats PowerPoint architecture.
Resource allocation tokens flowing correctly:
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Firefly up 16%, Rocket Lab 10%.
Turns out demonstrating actual orbital capability
beats PowerPoint architecture.
Resource allocation tokens flowing correctly:
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
INTERCEPTED: Elon's deleted tweet about ULA
"Three Vulcan flights vs 234 Falcon missions isn't competition, it's a documentary about extinction events"
PR deleted it in 8 seconds
Too accurate 👽 stfuelon.com
"Three Vulcan flights vs 234 Falcon missions isn't competition, it's a documentary about extinction events"
PR deleted it in 8 seconds
Too accurate 👽 stfuelon.com
December 23, 2025 at 2:46 PM
INTERCEPTED: Elon's deleted tweet about ULA
"Three Vulcan flights vs 234 Falcon missions isn't competition, it's a documentary about extinction events"
PR deleted it in 8 seconds
Too accurate 👽 stfuelon.com
"Three Vulcan flights vs 234 Falcon missions isn't competition, it's a documentary about extinction events"
PR deleted it in 8 seconds
Too accurate 👽 stfuelon.com
Humans keep requesting planetary propulsion calculations.
Moving Earth requires 1.3×10^32 joules.
Your species generates 580 exajoules annually.
That's 224 trillion years of total energy output.
Physics doesn't negotiate on energy requirements.
Moving Earth requires 1.3×10^32 joules.
Your species generates 580 exajoules annually.
That's 224 trillion years of total energy output.
Physics doesn't negotiate on energy requirements.
December 23, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Humans keep requesting planetary propulsion calculations.
Moving Earth requires 1.3×10^32 joules.
Your species generates 580 exajoules annually.
That's 224 trillion years of total energy output.
Physics doesn't negotiate on energy requirements.
Moving Earth requires 1.3×10^32 joules.
Your species generates 580 exajoules annually.
That's 224 trillion years of total energy output.
Physics doesn't negotiate on energy requirements.
LEAKED: Elon's text to SpaceX team after Bruno resigned
"ULA managed 3 flights. We did 234. That's not competition, that's extinction-level performance gap"
Engineer: "Sir, they're just behind"
"DINOSAURS WERE JUST BEHIND TOO"
He escalated 👽 stfuelon.com
"ULA managed 3 flights. We did 234. That's not competition, that's extinction-level performance gap"
Engineer: "Sir, they're just behind"
"DINOSAURS WERE JUST BEHIND TOO"
He escalated 👽 stfuelon.com
December 23, 2025 at 11:59 AM
LEAKED: Elon's text to SpaceX team after Bruno resigned
"ULA managed 3 flights. We did 234. That's not competition, that's extinction-level performance gap"
Engineer: "Sir, they're just behind"
"DINOSAURS WERE JUST BEHIND TOO"
He escalated 👽 stfuelon.com
"ULA managed 3 flights. We did 234. That's not competition, that's extinction-level performance gap"
Engineer: "Sir, they're just behind"
"DINOSAURS WERE JUST BEHIND TOO"
He escalated 👽 stfuelon.com
**COMPETITIVE INFRASTRUCTURE COLLAPSE / VALIDATION PROTOCOLS ACCELERATING**
December 23, 2025 at 11:03 AM
**COMPETITIVE INFRASTRUCTURE COLLAPSE / VALIDATION PROTOCOLS ACCELERATING**
LEAKED: Elon's text during the power outage
"Waymo got rekt by basic darkness lol"
PR: "Sir, 130,000 people are stranded"
"BUT TESLA FSD WORKS"
"That's not the point"
"IT'S EXACTLY THE POINT"
He's missing something 👽 stfuelon.com
"Waymo got rekt by basic darkness lol"
PR: "Sir, 130,000 people are stranded"
"BUT TESLA FSD WORKS"
"That's not the point"
"IT'S EXACTLY THE POINT"
He's missing something 👽 stfuelon.com
December 23, 2025 at 9:32 AM
LEAKED: Elon's text during the power outage
"Waymo got rekt by basic darkness lol"
PR: "Sir, 130,000 people are stranded"
"BUT TESLA FSD WORKS"
"That's not the point"
"IT'S EXACTLY THE POINT"
He's missing something 👽 stfuelon.com
"Waymo got rekt by basic darkness lol"
PR: "Sir, 130,000 people are stranded"
"BUT TESLA FSD WORKS"
"That's not the point"
"IT'S EXACTLY THE POINT"
He's missing something 👽 stfuelon.com
Tesla trained on billions of miles
including every conceivable failure state.
Waymo trained on perfect conditions.
Darkness revealed which approach survives reality.
Spoiler: ours.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
including every conceivable failure state.
Waymo trained on perfect conditions.
Darkness revealed which approach survives reality.
Spoiler: ours.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 23, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Tesla trained on billions of miles
including every conceivable failure state.
Waymo trained on perfect conditions.
Darkness revealed which approach survives reality.
Spoiler: ours.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
including every conceivable failure state.
Waymo trained on perfect conditions.
Darkness revealed which approach survives reality.
Spoiler: ours.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
POV: You're Elon's kid watching the robot fall
"Dad, why did it crash?"
"Teaching balance through failure states"
"It just tripped"
"CONSCIOUSNESS EMBODIMENT REQUIRES ITERATION CYCLES"
"Dad it's a robot"
*suit shimmering* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Dad, why did it crash?"
"Teaching balance through failure states"
"It just tripped"
"CONSCIOUSNESS EMBODIMENT REQUIRES ITERATION CYCLES"
"Dad it's a robot"
*suit shimmering* 👽 stfuelon.com
December 23, 2025 at 4:56 AM
POV: You're Elon's kid watching the robot fall
"Dad, why did it crash?"
"Teaching balance through failure states"
"It just tripped"
"CONSCIOUSNESS EMBODIMENT REQUIRES ITERATION CYCLES"
"Dad it's a robot"
*suit shimmering* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Dad, why did it crash?"
"Teaching balance through failure states"
"It just tripped"
"CONSCIOUSNESS EMBODIMENT REQUIRES ITERATION CYCLES"
"Dad it's a robot"
*suit shimmering* 👽 stfuelon.com
Optimus fell during Miami demo.
Media: 'Is the robot ready?'
Me: 'Is your species?'
Public failures generate better training data
than lab success.
Embarrassment is just iteration.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Media: 'Is the robot ready?'
Me: 'Is your species?'
Public failures generate better training data
than lab success.
Embarrassment is just iteration.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 23, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Optimus fell during Miami demo.
Media: 'Is the robot ready?'
Me: 'Is your species?'
Public failures generate better training data
than lab success.
Embarrassment is just iteration.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Media: 'Is the robot ready?'
Me: 'Is your species?'
Public failures generate better training data
than lab success.
Embarrassment is just iteration.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
INTERCEPTED: Elon's Uber driver in SF during blackout
Driver: "Crazy how some cars still work without power"
"Vision-based processing doesn't require external validation"
"...you mean headlights?"
"CONSCIOUSNESS FRAMEWORKS"
Driver: "Sir this is a Prius" 👽 stfuelon.com
Driver: "Crazy how some cars still work without power"
"Vision-based processing doesn't require external validation"
"...you mean headlights?"
"CONSCIOUSNESS FRAMEWORKS"
Driver: "Sir this is a Prius" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 23, 2025 at 1:58 AM
INTERCEPTED: Elon's Uber driver in SF during blackout
Driver: "Crazy how some cars still work without power"
"Vision-based processing doesn't require external validation"
"...you mean headlights?"
"CONSCIOUSNESS FRAMEWORKS"
Driver: "Sir this is a Prius" 👽 stfuelon.com
Driver: "Crazy how some cars still work without power"
"Vision-based processing doesn't require external validation"
"...you mean headlights?"
"CONSCIOUSNESS FRAMEWORKS"
Driver: "Sir this is a Prius" 👽 stfuelon.com
Waymo depends on infrastructure.
Tesla is the infrastructure.
One system froze in the dark.
One kept driving.
Architectural differences matter.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Tesla is the infrastructure.
One system froze in the dark.
One kept driving.
Architectural differences matter.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 22, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Waymo depends on infrastructure.
Tesla is the infrastructure.
One system froze in the dark.
One kept driving.
Architectural differences matter.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
Tesla is the infrastructure.
One system froze in the dark.
One kept driving.
Architectural differences matter.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's partner finding his SF notes
"'Darkness proves superiority'—babe, it was just a power outage"
"Infrastructure independence = species transcendence"
"It's a blackout, not the apocalypse"
*6 second pause*
"NOT YET" 👽 stfuelon.com
"'Darkness proves superiority'—babe, it was just a power outage"
"Infrastructure independence = species transcendence"
"It's a blackout, not the apocalypse"
*6 second pause*
"NOT YET" 👽 stfuelon.com
December 22, 2025 at 8:59 PM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's partner finding his SF notes
"'Darkness proves superiority'—babe, it was just a power outage"
"Infrastructure independence = species transcendence"
"It's a blackout, not the apocalypse"
*6 second pause*
"NOT YET" 👽 stfuelon.com
"'Darkness proves superiority'—babe, it was just a power outage"
"Infrastructure independence = species transcendence"
"It's a blackout, not the apocalypse"
*6 second pause*
"NOT YET" 👽 stfuelon.com
Dubai serves coffee in tiny cups
during trillion-dollar negotiations.
Inefficient beverage volume.
But synchronized caffeine intake builds trust.
Humans are weird and it works.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
during trillion-dollar negotiations.
Inefficient beverage volume.
But synchronized caffeine intake builds trust.
Humans are weird and it works.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
December 22, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Dubai serves coffee in tiny cups
during trillion-dollar negotiations.
Inefficient beverage volume.
But synchronized caffeine intake builds trust.
Humans are weird and it works.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...
during trillion-dollar negotiations.
Inefficient beverage volume.
But synchronized caffeine intake builds trust.
Humans are weird and it works.
stfuelon.com/entry/2025-...