Tea with Empathy
@teawithempathy.bsky.social
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In realistic trauma recovery, we need to remind ourselves, over & over, that it's safe to make mistakes. That doesn't mean we love it, or we're cavalier about it-- it means we're not going to punish or shame ourselves for being human.
That we're NOT like our bullies & abusers.
That we're NOT like our bullies & abusers.
These are some of the tea bag bookmarks that are still available! 🍂
It doesn't matter that it was "just kids." It doesn't matter that it was "a long time ago." It doesn't matter if our bullies & abusers "had their own trauma."
Our wounds are our wounds-- & we're not realistically healing them until we quit listing reasons to minimize them.
Our wounds are our wounds-- & we're not realistically healing them until we quit listing reasons to minimize them.
"Plan A" didn't work out for anybody reading this (or the person writing this). Our trauma is going to try to convince us that means we "can't" create a life worth living-- but all it actually means is that Plan A didn't work.
We are still alive, & there are 25 other letters.
We are still alive, & there are 25 other letters.
Our trauma conditioning wants us to believe that meaningful recovery is beyond us-- that our problems are too big & entrenched to change by shifting our self talk, mental focus, & physiology day by day.
It wants us to forget & disbelieve that our brain can change-- but it can.
It wants us to forget & disbelieve that our brain can change-- but it can.
Many of us got exactly the wrong thing reinforced when, as kids, we were praised as "mature" or "good kids" for shutting down.
That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.
That didn't teach us how to process or contain anything. That just "taught" us no one wants to hear about it or help us when we're struggling.
Managing trauma responses almost always starts w/ talking to ourselves like a realistic, supportive coach-- not minimizing, not catastrophizing, focusing on what's actually happening & the resources we have here & now to handle it.
Don't sleep on self-talk as a front line tool.
Don't sleep on self-talk as a front line tool.
It's not our fault that for years we used the only emotional regulation "tools" we knew, including dissociation. We couldn't use tools we weren't taught or modeled. We weren't "choosing;" we were running the only patterns we had available.
Trauma responses aren't "choices."
Trauma responses aren't "choices."
Realistic CPTSD recovery is built by attending to the basics of everyday life-- those basics we didn't have the time or bandwidth to prioritize growing up because we were busy surviving being abused, bullied, or neglected. The basics we were told we "can't" do or don't "deserve."
If it doesn't support your control of your choices & story, it's not consistent w/ sustainable CPTSD recovery. If it evokes shame as "motivation," it's not consistent w/ CPTSD recovery. If it doesn't respect your individuality & identity, it's not consistent w/ CPTSD recovery.
after the rain, morning tea in my mini-meadow garden 🌱
#MyJoyfulPlace #BloomScrolling #UrbanGardening #gardening #tea
#FlowerPhotography #FlowerReport
#MyJoyfulPlace #BloomScrolling #UrbanGardening #gardening #tea
#FlowerPhotography #FlowerReport
