Teddypasketti
@teddypasketti.bsky.social
Federal civil servant, lawyer, no other info for you about me. My picture is not of me.
My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.
My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.
A reminder that there are 20 Orioles Spring training games being broadcast on MASN, and the first is in 12 days.
Twelve.
Twelve.
February 9, 2026 at 4:21 AM
A reminder that there are 20 Orioles Spring training games being broadcast on MASN, and the first is in 12 days.
Twelve.
Twelve.
Reposted by Teddypasketti
Fuck off football, it’s baseball season
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 AM
Fuck off football, it’s baseball season
And finally we are that time:
Baseball.
Baseball.
February 9, 2026 at 3:46 AM
And finally we are that time:
Baseball.
Baseball.
Don’t feel bad for Drake Maye. He’s graduating high school this summer, and then he can really focus on his game.
February 9, 2026 at 3:13 AM
Don’t feel bad for Drake Maye. He’s graduating high school this summer, and then he can really focus on his game.
Don’t worry about Bad Bunny crashing into that family’s living room. He had an administrative warrant.
February 9, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Don’t worry about Bad Bunny crashing into that family’s living room. He had an administrative warrant.
That noise you heard was the explosive sound of my jaw-cracking yawn watching this first half.
February 9, 2026 at 1:07 AM
That noise you heard was the explosive sound of my jaw-cracking yawn watching this first half.
“I just want a close game…”
February 9, 2026 at 12:58 AM
“I just want a close game…”
Take a look at your pee.
February 9, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Take a look at your pee.
[Elderly woman is helped across the street by a child; the elderly woman is seen baking cookies, and delivering them to the child’s home; they share smiles and a hug as the doting mother of the child looks on to swelling music]
[ad card]: Monster Energy Drink
[ad card]: Monster Energy Drink
February 9, 2026 at 12:43 AM
[Elderly woman is helped across the street by a child; the elderly woman is seen baking cookies, and delivering them to the child’s home; they share smiles and a hug as the doting mother of the child looks on to swelling music]
[ad card]: Monster Energy Drink
[ad card]: Monster Energy Drink
Reposted by Teddypasketti
This game is boring…
February 9, 2026 at 12:39 AM
This game is boring…
It’s a fucking potato chip. Calm down.
February 9, 2026 at 12:19 AM
It’s a fucking potato chip. Calm down.
First coin toss, Super Bowl 1. We used to be a proper country.
February 8, 2026 at 11:42 PM
First coin toss, Super Bowl 1. We used to be a proper country.
You can absolutely hate the gross political/moneyed corruption that is the Olympics, while still being wowed by the athleticism of the Olympians.
February 8, 2026 at 8:52 AM
You can absolutely hate the gross political/moneyed corruption that is the Olympics, while still being wowed by the athleticism of the Olympians.
Johnny Weir, talking about what will happen in figure skating, said “We aren’t Yoda, we can’t predict the future.”
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
February 8, 2026 at 7:44 AM
Johnny Weir, talking about what will happen in figure skating, said “We aren’t Yoda, we can’t predict the future.”
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
One of the best things about tonight, taking it slow after Dry January—I nursed three drinks over six hours—is I convinced a drunk friend that there are, in the world, only a total of 87 reggae songs. Like, ever.
By the end of the night he believed me.
By the end of the night he believed me.
February 8, 2026 at 7:14 AM
One of the best things about tonight, taking it slow after Dry January—I nursed three drinks over six hours—is I convinced a drunk friend that there are, in the world, only a total of 87 reggae songs. Like, ever.
By the end of the night he believed me.
By the end of the night he believed me.
For those of us with pathogenic sodium intake disorder (PSID), this is the best time in Baltimore. Just going around, licking windshields and bumpers. There are dozens of us. We meet near the impound lot. Heaven.
February 8, 2026 at 6:36 AM
For those of us with pathogenic sodium intake disorder (PSID), this is the best time in Baltimore. Just going around, licking windshields and bumpers. There are dozens of us. We meet near the impound lot. Heaven.
I can’t get out of bed some mornings—me, a healthy person—without a groan or two. How Vonn can do those speeds down a hill in skis with a shredded ACL is insane. Gobbless, I guess.
February 8, 2026 at 5:01 AM
I can’t get out of bed some mornings—me, a healthy person—without a groan or two. How Vonn can do those speeds down a hill in skis with a shredded ACL is insane. Gobbless, I guess.
Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.
February 8, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.
Dry January/early February is definitely over. Woof.
February 7, 2026 at 11:34 PM
Dry January/early February is definitely over. Woof.
Reposted by Teddypasketti
My favourite Columbo episode was when he came out of retirement to catch a 10yo murderer
February 7, 2026 at 11:30 PM
My favourite Columbo episode was when he came out of retirement to catch a 10yo murderer
A guy I’ve known a while and I talked tonight and he told me what he did. He works for a food flavor processing plant. Here’s one of many things he told me tonight that blew my mind.
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
February 7, 2026 at 7:51 AM
A guy I’ve known a while and I talked tonight and he told me what he did. He works for a food flavor processing plant. Here’s one of many things he told me tonight that blew my mind.
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Met a guy tonight—swear to God—named Kevin Spacie. He’s 48. He’s aware.
February 7, 2026 at 5:57 AM
Met a guy tonight—swear to God—named Kevin Spacie. He’s 48. He’s aware.
Donald Trump was 47 when he flew with Epstein—those two men only—to Epstein island with a 20 year old girl.
February 7, 2026 at 12:19 AM
Donald Trump was 47 when he flew with Epstein—those two men only—to Epstein island with a 20 year old girl.