Teddypasketti
@teddypasketti.bsky.social
Federal civil servant, lawyer, no other info for you about me. My picture is not of me.
My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.
My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.
You can absolutely hate the gross political/moneyed corruption that is the Olympics, while still being wowed by the athleticism of the Olympians.
February 8, 2026 at 8:52 AM
You can absolutely hate the gross political/moneyed corruption that is the Olympics, while still being wowed by the athleticism of the Olympians.
Johnny Weir, talking about what will happen in figure skating, said “We aren’t Yoda, we can’t predict the future.”
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
February 8, 2026 at 7:44 AM
Johnny Weir, talking about what will happen in figure skating, said “We aren’t Yoda, we can’t predict the future.”
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
One of the best things about tonight, taking it slow after Dry January—I nursed three drinks over six hours—is I convinced a drunk friend that there are, in the world, only a total of 87 reggae songs. Like, ever.
By the end of the night he believed me.
By the end of the night he believed me.
February 8, 2026 at 7:14 AM
One of the best things about tonight, taking it slow after Dry January—I nursed three drinks over six hours—is I convinced a drunk friend that there are, in the world, only a total of 87 reggae songs. Like, ever.
By the end of the night he believed me.
By the end of the night he believed me.
For those of us with pathogenic sodium intake disorder (PSID), this is the best time in Baltimore. Just going around, licking windshields and bumpers. There are dozens of us. We meet near the impound lot. Heaven.
February 8, 2026 at 6:36 AM
For those of us with pathogenic sodium intake disorder (PSID), this is the best time in Baltimore. Just going around, licking windshields and bumpers. There are dozens of us. We meet near the impound lot. Heaven.
I can’t get out of bed some mornings—me, a healthy person—without a groan or two. How Vonn can do those speeds down a hill in skis with a shredded ACL is insane. Gobbless, I guess.
February 8, 2026 at 5:01 AM
I can’t get out of bed some mornings—me, a healthy person—without a groan or two. How Vonn can do those speeds down a hill in skis with a shredded ACL is insane. Gobbless, I guess.
Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.
February 8, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.
Dry January/early February is definitely over. Woof.
February 7, 2026 at 11:34 PM
Dry January/early February is definitely over. Woof.
Reposted by Teddypasketti
My favourite Columbo episode was when he came out of retirement to catch a 10yo murderer
February 7, 2026 at 11:30 PM
My favourite Columbo episode was when he came out of retirement to catch a 10yo murderer
A guy I’ve known a while and I talked tonight and he told me what he did. He works for a food flavor processing plant. Here’s one of many things he told me tonight that blew my mind.
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
February 7, 2026 at 7:51 AM
A guy I’ve known a while and I talked tonight and he told me what he did. He works for a food flavor processing plant. Here’s one of many things he told me tonight that blew my mind.
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Met a guy tonight—swear to God—named Kevin Spacie. He’s 48. He’s aware.
February 7, 2026 at 5:57 AM
Met a guy tonight—swear to God—named Kevin Spacie. He’s 48. He’s aware.
Donald Trump was 47 when he flew with Epstein—those two men only—to Epstein island with a 20 year old girl.
February 7, 2026 at 12:19 AM
Donald Trump was 47 when he flew with Epstein—those two men only—to Epstein island with a 20 year old girl.
Cryptocoin idiot brohams watching their Trump-pumped life savings give a kiddie-wave bye-bye after being warned that this absolutely would happen makes me possibly disqualified from downhill skiing.
a little girl is sitting in an orange slide .
Alt: a little girl is sitting in an orange slide waving bye bye and slides away, gone forever
media.tenor.com
February 6, 2026 at 2:04 AM
Cryptocoin idiot brohams watching their Trump-pumped life savings give a kiddie-wave bye-bye after being warned that this absolutely would happen makes me possibly disqualified from downhill skiing.
Wait, I can’t pee at work??
Baltimore County judge denies bail for paramedic accused of masturbation, urination at work
Baltimore County judge denies masturbating paramedic bail
During Thurday’s hearing, Lauren Stone, assistant state’s attorney for Baltimore County, told the judge that Baltimore County Police reviewed over two dozen videos Carroll filmed of himself committing...
buff.ly
February 5, 2026 at 11:26 PM
Wait, I can’t pee at work??
Reposted by Teddypasketti
You don’t understand. Cryptocurrency is the future. All it will take is everyone agreeing to this and if that doesn’t happen? Okay hold on
February 5, 2026 at 10:51 PM
You don’t understand. Cryptocurrency is the future. All it will take is everyone agreeing to this and if that doesn’t happen? Okay hold on
As a DOJ attorney, your first words to the court *cannot* be this. I empathize with Le, but this was absolutely not the way to go about it.
February 5, 2026 at 11:44 AM
As a DOJ attorney, your first words to the court *cannot* be this. I empathize with Le, but this was absolutely not the way to go about it.
Mike Elias is not going to get another starter. Help is not coming. No one is going to save you.
You are part of the unwashed masses and you will take what you get. You will pay the dynamic prices, and you will sit there and shut up and clap and you will like it.
This is the way things are now.
You are part of the unwashed masses and you will take what you get. You will pay the dynamic prices, and you will sit there and shut up and clap and you will like it.
This is the way things are now.
February 5, 2026 at 11:14 AM
Mike Elias is not going to get another starter. Help is not coming. No one is going to save you.
You are part of the unwashed masses and you will take what you get. You will pay the dynamic prices, and you will sit there and shut up and clap and you will like it.
This is the way things are now.
You are part of the unwashed masses and you will take what you get. You will pay the dynamic prices, and you will sit there and shut up and clap and you will like it.
This is the way things are now.
Let’s check in on my fellow Bluesky Orioles fans.
Them:
Them:
February 5, 2026 at 4:15 AM
Let’s check in on my fellow Bluesky Orioles fans.
Them:
Them:
Reposted by Teddypasketti
Elon Musk feeling shame for the first time in his life and immediately overdosing on shame and dying
February 5, 2026 at 3:29 AM
Elon Musk feeling shame for the first time in his life and immediately overdosing on shame and dying
Chuck Schumer is not a wartime consigliere.
Democrats want commonsense reform for ICE:
End the roving patrols and racial profiling.
Take accountability and abide by the same rules as local police.
Masks need to come off, body cameras need to stay on—no secret police in the United States of America.
End the roving patrols and racial profiling.
Take accountability and abide by the same rules as local police.
Masks need to come off, body cameras need to stay on—no secret police in the United States of America.
February 4, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Chuck Schumer is not a wartime consigliere.
Reposted by Teddypasketti
Not all heroes wear capes
From the looneytunes community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the looneytunes community
www.reddit.com
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Not all heroes wear capes
Take a moment for Assistant U.S. Attorney Julia Le, who hose epic meltdown in a Minneapolis court undoubtedly echoes in the hearts of nodding AUSAs and federal civil trial attorneys everywhere.
Not a good moment for her, but I empathize.
www.fox9.com/news/federal...
Not a good moment for her, but I empathize.
www.fox9.com/news/federal...
Federal attorney on ICE cases: ‘The system sucks’
A federal judge in Minnesota demanded to know why ICE is not complying with court orders and failing to immediately release immigrants who are being wrongfully detained as part of Operation Metro Surg...
www.fox9.com
February 3, 2026 at 10:27 PM
Take a moment for Assistant U.S. Attorney Julia Le, who hose epic meltdown in a Minneapolis court undoubtedly echoes in the hearts of nodding AUSAs and federal civil trial attorneys everywhere.
Not a good moment for her, but I empathize.
www.fox9.com/news/federal...
Not a good moment for her, but I empathize.
www.fox9.com/news/federal...
Reposted by Teddypasketti
ACAB includes Punxsutawney Phil
February 2, 2026 at 2:51 PM
ACAB includes Punxsutawney Phil
Thinking of replacing my granite countertops with the something more scratch-resistant, and then I realized Baltimore sidewalks are covered in what I need.
February 2, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Thinking of replacing my granite countertops with the something more scratch-resistant, and then I realized Baltimore sidewalks are covered in what I need.