Teddypasketti
@teddypasketti.bsky.social
Federal civil servant, lawyer, no other info for you about me. My picture is not of me.
My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.
My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.
Don’t worry about Bad Bunny crashing into that family’s living room. He had an administrative warrant.
February 9, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Don’t worry about Bad Bunny crashing into that family’s living room. He had an administrative warrant.
That noise you heard was the explosive sound of my jaw-cracking yawn watching this first half.
February 9, 2026 at 1:07 AM
That noise you heard was the explosive sound of my jaw-cracking yawn watching this first half.
“I just want a close game…”
February 9, 2026 at 12:58 AM
“I just want a close game…”
Take a look at your pee.
February 9, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Take a look at your pee.
[Elderly woman is helped across the street by a child; the elderly woman is seen baking cookies, and delivering them to the child’s home; they share smiles and a hug as the doting mother of the child looks on to swelling music]
[ad card]: Monster Energy Drink
[ad card]: Monster Energy Drink
February 9, 2026 at 12:43 AM
[Elderly woman is helped across the street by a child; the elderly woman is seen baking cookies, and delivering them to the child’s home; they share smiles and a hug as the doting mother of the child looks on to swelling music]
[ad card]: Monster Energy Drink
[ad card]: Monster Energy Drink
Reposted by Teddypasketti
This game is boring…
February 9, 2026 at 12:39 AM
This game is boring…
It’s a fucking potato chip. Calm down.
February 9, 2026 at 12:19 AM
It’s a fucking potato chip. Calm down.
First coin toss, Super Bowl 1. We used to be a proper country.
February 8, 2026 at 11:42 PM
First coin toss, Super Bowl 1. We used to be a proper country.
You can absolutely hate the gross political/moneyed corruption that is the Olympics, while still being wowed by the athleticism of the Olympians.
February 8, 2026 at 8:52 AM
You can absolutely hate the gross political/moneyed corruption that is the Olympics, while still being wowed by the athleticism of the Olympians.
Johnny Weir, talking about what will happen in figure skating, said “We aren’t Yoda, we can’t predict the future.”
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
February 8, 2026 at 7:44 AM
Johnny Weir, talking about what will happen in figure skating, said “We aren’t Yoda, we can’t predict the future.”
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
Did I miss something in Empire and Jedi?
One of the best things about tonight, taking it slow after Dry January—I nursed three drinks over six hours—is I convinced a drunk friend that there are, in the world, only a total of 87 reggae songs. Like, ever.
By the end of the night he believed me.
By the end of the night he believed me.
February 8, 2026 at 7:14 AM
One of the best things about tonight, taking it slow after Dry January—I nursed three drinks over six hours—is I convinced a drunk friend that there are, in the world, only a total of 87 reggae songs. Like, ever.
By the end of the night he believed me.
By the end of the night he believed me.
For those of us with pathogenic sodium intake disorder (PSID), this is the best time in Baltimore. Just going around, licking windshields and bumpers. There are dozens of us. We meet near the impound lot. Heaven.
February 8, 2026 at 6:36 AM
For those of us with pathogenic sodium intake disorder (PSID), this is the best time in Baltimore. Just going around, licking windshields and bumpers. There are dozens of us. We meet near the impound lot. Heaven.
I can’t get out of bed some mornings—me, a healthy person—without a groan or two. How Vonn can do those speeds down a hill in skis with a shredded ACL is insane. Gobbless, I guess.
February 8, 2026 at 5:01 AM
I can’t get out of bed some mornings—me, a healthy person—without a groan or two. How Vonn can do those speeds down a hill in skis with a shredded ACL is insane. Gobbless, I guess.
Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.
February 8, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.
Dry January/early February is definitely over. Woof.
February 7, 2026 at 11:34 PM
Dry January/early February is definitely over. Woof.
Reposted by Teddypasketti
My favourite Columbo episode was when he came out of retirement to catch a 10yo murderer
February 7, 2026 at 11:30 PM
My favourite Columbo episode was when he came out of retirement to catch a 10yo murderer
A guy I’ve known a while and I talked tonight and he told me what he did. He works for a food flavor processing plant. Here’s one of many things he told me tonight that blew my mind.
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
February 7, 2026 at 7:51 AM
A guy I’ve known a while and I talked tonight and he told me what he did. He works for a food flavor processing plant. Here’s one of many things he told me tonight that blew my mind.
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Regular Twizzlers? Not the ones advertised as cherry or strawberry. Regular Twizzlers.
Know what their flavor is?
Met a guy tonight—swear to God—named Kevin Spacie. He’s 48. He’s aware.
February 7, 2026 at 5:57 AM
Met a guy tonight—swear to God—named Kevin Spacie. He’s 48. He’s aware.
Donald Trump was 47 when he flew with Epstein—those two men only—to Epstein island with a 20 year old girl.
February 7, 2026 at 12:19 AM
Donald Trump was 47 when he flew with Epstein—those two men only—to Epstein island with a 20 year old girl.
Cryptocoin idiot brohams watching their Trump-pumped life savings give a kiddie-wave bye-bye after being warned that this absolutely would happen makes me possibly disqualified from downhill skiing.
a little girl is sitting in an orange slide .
Alt: a little girl is sitting in an orange slide waving bye bye and slides away, gone forever
media.tenor.com
February 6, 2026 at 2:04 AM
Cryptocoin idiot brohams watching their Trump-pumped life savings give a kiddie-wave bye-bye after being warned that this absolutely would happen makes me possibly disqualified from downhill skiing.
Wait, I can’t pee at work??
Baltimore County judge denies bail for paramedic accused of masturbation, urination at work
Baltimore County judge denies masturbating paramedic bail
During Thurday’s hearing, Lauren Stone, assistant state’s attorney for Baltimore County, told the judge that Baltimore County Police reviewed over two dozen videos Carroll filmed of himself committing...
buff.ly
February 5, 2026 at 11:26 PM
Wait, I can’t pee at work??
Reposted by Teddypasketti
You don’t understand. Cryptocurrency is the future. All it will take is everyone agreeing to this and if that doesn’t happen? Okay hold on
February 5, 2026 at 10:51 PM
You don’t understand. Cryptocurrency is the future. All it will take is everyone agreeing to this and if that doesn’t happen? Okay hold on
As a DOJ attorney, your first words to the court *cannot* be this. I empathize with Le, but this was absolutely not the way to go about it.
February 5, 2026 at 11:44 AM
As a DOJ attorney, your first words to the court *cannot* be this. I empathize with Le, but this was absolutely not the way to go about it.