Teddypasketti
@teddypasketti.bsky.social
Federal civil servant, lawyer, no other info for you about me. My picture is not of me.
My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.
My opinions are mine own and not my employer’s. Let me underscore that: MY OPINIONS ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT MY EMPLOYER’S.
House of Ruth used to have a crisis line where women could call and talk to a therapist/social worker. Not sure they do that now, but worth a shot.
February 7, 2026 at 8:15 AM
House of Ruth used to have a crisis line where women could call and talk to a therapist/social worker. Not sure they do that now, but worth a shot.
It’s the seventh inning stretch at a Washington Nationals game. IYKYK.
February 7, 2026 at 8:14 AM
It’s the seventh inning stretch at a Washington Nationals game. IYKYK.
Mr. E: Hey, how’s Teddypasketty doing? He’s brilliant.
You: Devastatingly handsome, as always. He’s like a Greek god carved from alabaster.
Mr. E: But of course. More hummus?
You: Oh please yes.
You: Devastatingly handsome, as always. He’s like a Greek god carved from alabaster.
Mr. E: But of course. More hummus?
You: Oh please yes.
February 7, 2026 at 8:11 AM
Mr. E: Hey, how’s Teddypasketty doing? He’s brilliant.
You: Devastatingly handsome, as always. He’s like a Greek god carved from alabaster.
Mr. E: But of course. More hummus?
You: Oh please yes.
You: Devastatingly handsome, as always. He’s like a Greek god carved from alabaster.
Mr. E: But of course. More hummus?
You: Oh please yes.
You're a frog from a basket in the middle of the desert, and I took you for no other reason than I needed a sweet face to buy land. A frog from a basket!
February 7, 2026 at 8:04 AM
You're a frog from a basket in the middle of the desert, and I took you for no other reason than I needed a sweet face to buy land. A frog from a basket!
When The Baltimorons came out, a friend highly recommended it but warned, “Don’t get caught up in thinking about where they drive. It will make you nuts.” And it was true. He drives from Franklin Street in West Baltimore and cuts through Canton on his way to Hampden, in eight minutes. Insanity.
February 7, 2026 at 7:59 AM
When The Baltimorons came out, a friend highly recommended it but warned, “Don’t get caught up in thinking about where they drive. It will make you nuts.” And it was true. He drives from Franklin Street in West Baltimore and cuts through Canton on his way to Hampden, in eight minutes. Insanity.
It’s really sad that Matt Damon managed to survive on Mars using his intellect and then tried to murder Matthew McConnaghy on another planet because he wanted to escape.
February 7, 2026 at 7:55 AM
It’s really sad that Matt Damon managed to survive on Mars using his intellect and then tried to murder Matthew McConnaghy on another planet because he wanted to escape.
Not like pressed banana. No. Food chemists took real banana, broke it to its olfactory components, and then pulled those natural chemicals into a powder or liquid that isn’t *from* bananas but is chemically olfactory-wise banana.
That’s Twizzlers.
That’s Twizzlers.
February 7, 2026 at 7:51 AM
Not like pressed banana. No. Food chemists took real banana, broke it to its olfactory components, and then pulled those natural chemicals into a powder or liquid that isn’t *from* bananas but is chemically olfactory-wise banana.
That’s Twizzlers.
That’s Twizzlers.
Banana. Not fake Runts yellow banana which isn’t banana, but you’ve come to associate it with banana (just as grape candy doesn’t taste like grape, watermelon candy doesn’t actually taste like watermelon, etc.). It’s banana.
February 7, 2026 at 7:51 AM
Banana. Not fake Runts yellow banana which isn’t banana, but you’ve come to associate it with banana (just as grape candy doesn’t taste like grape, watermelon candy doesn’t actually taste like watermelon, etc.). It’s banana.
Kevin Spacie and his wife Tracey Spacie. They said I could post this.
They know.
They know.
February 7, 2026 at 6:01 AM
Kevin Spacie and his wife Tracey Spacie. They said I could post this.
They know.
They know.
I posted this as a reply because I wanted the punchline for this to have resonance.
Met his wife, too. Took his name when they married.
Tracey.
Met his wife, too. Took his name when they married.
Tracey.
February 7, 2026 at 6:00 AM
I posted this as a reply because I wanted the punchline for this to have resonance.
Met his wife, too. Took his name when they married.
Tracey.
Met his wife, too. Took his name when they married.
Tracey.
He would be so good and so sweet.
February 7, 2026 at 3:26 AM
He would be so good and so sweet.
Trump posted it.
February 7, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Trump posted it.
That’s goddamned right.
February 7, 2026 at 12:49 AM
That’s goddamned right.
Matt Berry: The Rainnnbow CoNEX-sheyunnnnnnnnnnnah.
February 7, 2026 at 12:49 AM
Matt Berry: The Rainnnbow CoNEX-sheyunnnnnnnnnnnah.
I’m trying to cut back.
February 7, 2026 at 12:32 AM
I’m trying to cut back.
You, a year ago: Who will show us the way?
The person sitting in the corner, thousand yard stare: Ordinary people. Grandmas and nurses and moms, working class people. They will rise up. In the ice. Ordinary people. By the thousands.
You: Where??
Them: Minneapolis.
You: Oh, that person’s drunk.
The person sitting in the corner, thousand yard stare: Ordinary people. Grandmas and nurses and moms, working class people. They will rise up. In the ice. Ordinary people. By the thousands.
You: Where??
Them: Minneapolis.
You: Oh, that person’s drunk.
February 7, 2026 at 12:30 AM
You, a year ago: Who will show us the way?
The person sitting in the corner, thousand yard stare: Ordinary people. Grandmas and nurses and moms, working class people. They will rise up. In the ice. Ordinary people. By the thousands.
You: Where??
Them: Minneapolis.
You: Oh, that person’s drunk.
The person sitting in the corner, thousand yard stare: Ordinary people. Grandmas and nurses and moms, working class people. They will rise up. In the ice. Ordinary people. By the thousands.
You: Where??
Them: Minneapolis.
You: Oh, that person’s drunk.
Oh, it’s growing on me. But it’s Friday. And all snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy.
All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy. All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy. All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a
All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy. All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy. All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a
February 7, 2026 at 12:21 AM
Oh, it’s growing on me. But it’s Friday. And all snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy.
All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy. All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy. All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a
All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy. All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a dull boy. All snow and ice and freezing temperatures makes Jack a
Or appeared as a trial attorney in court.
February 6, 2026 at 9:43 AM
Or appeared as a trial attorney in court.
Don’t forget the undercoating.
February 6, 2026 at 9:37 AM
Don’t forget the undercoating.