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Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

570 followers 520 following 2.8K posts

Reality is overrated.

User #356,149. I've been here a while, I don't do much.

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Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

All I want for Christmas is you...to shut up

Photoshopped picture of Mariah Carey shopping with the caption, In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is
doing her shopping and is sick of
hearing me on every store's speaker
system.

November 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

Instead of a hand he has his head up his ass.

Social media post that says, Times when it's ok to call a woman "Piggy" at your job:

-You're a Muppet addressing one of your fellow Muppet coworkers by her actual legal name

-Literally that's it

November 28, 2025 at 9:23 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

He's onto something

Social media post that says, "each state should have an allocation of 100 years of age for their senators. you can send two 50 year olds but if you want dianne feinstein in the senate you gotta send a 13 year old too"

November 28, 2025 at 3:45 PM

Reposted by Tom Gardiner

Christopher Broker

@christopherbroker.bsky.social

November 27, 2025 at 9:00 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

Forget March 14, today is the real Pi(e) day.

November 27, 2025 at 9:05 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

Introduce yourself with five events you've attended:

Colonoscopy
Spinal surgery
DMV waiting room
Port-a-Potty in Southern heat
Chuck E Cheese birthday party

Huw Jelly @huwjelly.bsky.social · 4d

Introduce yourself with five gigs you've been to:
David Byrne, Utopia
Underworld
Orbital
New Order
Gorillaz

Foxton Rox @foxtonrox.bsky.social · 4d

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you have been to:

Motörhead
Tori Amos
Pink Floyd
Prince
The Smiths

(Three of these were excellent, two were rubbish...)

November 27, 2025 at 8:57 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

Y'all excuse me, my bath is ready.
#Thanksgiving

November 27, 2025 at 8:38 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

Everything's too fucking expensive

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧 @bretbatson.bsky.social · 5d

I’d rather eat shit!

Ruin Thanksgiving in Four Words:
______ ______ ______ ______

November 26, 2025 at 8:58 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

How to buy the tastiest cereal

Picture of a donut on a bed of Cheerios. The caption says, "I've come to the conclusion that the bigger the cheerio the better it tastes."

November 25, 2025 at 11:56 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

Look at my local dispensary handing out boxes of matches like it's the 1960s! I love the nostalgia.

A box of matches from a cannabis dispensary. There's a picture of an alligator on the box with the words "Best of the Bayou" on top and the words "This grass is greener" on the side.

November 25, 2025 at 11:14 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

This would be immensely practical

Social media post that says, In flight ntertainment should have a category "movies you can finish before we land" and eliminate titles as you get closer

November 25, 2025 at 4:29 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

Thor has his hammer, I have mine.

November 25, 2025 at 2:21 AM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

One! One very good point! Ah ah ah ah...

Social media post that says :

I was recently asked who my favorite vampire was.

I said, "the muppet from Sesame Street.

They told me, "he doesn't count!"

I replied, "I assure you, he does."

November 23, 2025 at 7:52 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

I'm serious about turkey, y'all. #HappyThanksgiving

Photo of a tag on a frozen turkey showing a weight of 23.84 pounds.

November 22, 2025 at 3:58 PM

Tom Gardiner

@thogar.bsky.social

I about to have my second dental surgery in the spa of 6 days. I'll be on a liquid diet and they only prescribe ibuprofen for the pain. So fuck that, I just stocked up on vapes, gummies, and extract. Tommy ain't gonna feel no pain.

November 21, 2025 at 6:24 PM