Todd Lunch
@toddlunch.bsky.social
Father was a harsh man.Tough disciplinarian. Once, he caught me smoking cigarettes. As punishment he locked me in a cupboard, & wouldn't let me out until I'd eaten the entire contents of Knowsley Safari Park. Including the gift shop. He never told me why.
You* know it's cold when I'm closing my windows and contemplating shelving the flip flops.
*I assume YOU have other means of gauging the temperature, like thermoception or timing how long an ice cube takes to melt.
*I assume YOU have other means of gauging the temperature, like thermoception or timing how long an ice cube takes to melt.
November 19, 2025 at 12:30 PM
You* know it's cold when I'm closing my windows and contemplating shelving the flip flops.
*I assume YOU have other means of gauging the temperature, like thermoception or timing how long an ice cube takes to melt.
*I assume YOU have other means of gauging the temperature, like thermoception or timing how long an ice cube takes to melt.
In the mid nineteen eighties, The Communards had had a string of hits, and were (seemingly) at the height of their fame; but a darker turn led them to notoriety. This documentary examines the preceding events, and what prompted them to commit these gruesome murders.
November 19, 2025 at 10:24 AM
In the mid nineteen eighties, The Communards had had a string of hits, and were (seemingly) at the height of their fame; but a darker turn led them to notoriety. This documentary examines the preceding events, and what prompted them to commit these gruesome murders.
Top o the morning to all my Scotch friends on qualifying for the World Cup.
November 18, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Top o the morning to all my Scotch friends on qualifying for the World Cup.
In my day, we didn't have fancy sex gadgets like fleshlights. If we were horny, we had to fuck the Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish.
November 18, 2025 at 7:35 PM
In my day, we didn't have fancy sex gadgets like fleshlights. If we were horny, we had to fuck the Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish.
Reposted by Todd Lunch
I've mentioned this quietly, but - since the summer my hobby has been making this ambitious murder mystery podcast. A story. Narrated by me, with a mouthwatering cast. Partly interactive. Trailer is coming tomorrow but if you like the sound of this, please follow @murderbastard.bsky.social.
November 18, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I've mentioned this quietly, but - since the summer my hobby has been making this ambitious murder mystery podcast. A story. Narrated by me, with a mouthwatering cast. Partly interactive. Trailer is coming tomorrow but if you like the sound of this, please follow @murderbastard.bsky.social.
Reposted by Todd Lunch
I thought this was going to turn into a story needing its own True Crime Netflix series, but no.
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
'We invited a homeless man for dinner - he stayed for 45 years'
The man was only meant to stay for a day.
metro.co.uk
November 18, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I thought this was going to turn into a story needing its own True Crime Netflix series, but no.
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
BREAKING - Home Office announces plans to seize asylum seekers' organs to pay for their own internment. Shabana Mahmood was quick to address the concerns of critics. "The confiscated organs will not usually be important ones such as the brain or liver."
"We've gone fucking mental", she added.
"We've gone fucking mental", she added.
November 17, 2025 at 11:06 AM
BREAKING - Home Office announces plans to seize asylum seekers' organs to pay for their own internment. Shabana Mahmood was quick to address the concerns of critics. "The confiscated organs will not usually be important ones such as the brain or liver."
"We've gone fucking mental", she added.
"We've gone fucking mental", she added.
If I were the Republicans, I'd consider trying a 'Donald Trump is a Democrat hoax' line, for a laugh. 'Never existed. What are you on about mate?' May as well.
November 16, 2025 at 9:45 PM
If I were the Republicans, I'd consider trying a 'Donald Trump is a Democrat hoax' line, for a laugh. 'Never existed. What are you on about mate?' May as well.
Reposted by Todd Lunch
That stage in life where concerned friends say "oh, I hope he hasn't done something sensible."
November 16, 2025 at 8:58 PM
That stage in life where concerned friends say "oh, I hope he hasn't done something sensible."
I like the idea of a caddy for DJ's. Humping the records around, and suggesting Was (Not Was) in tricky conditions.
November 16, 2025 at 8:03 PM
I like the idea of a caddy for DJ's. Humping the records around, and suggesting Was (Not Was) in tricky conditions.
Pest we forget
Oh, the sweet agony of nostalgia.
All those rich nonces, we shall not see their like again...
All those rich nonces, we shall not see their like again...
Jesus fucking Christ
November 16, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Pest we forget
Glen gang garry garry garry garry watcha Glen gang ross
November 16, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Glen gang garry garry garry garry watcha Glen gang ross
Reverence
Adam Scott meeting the pope, for anyone interested in that sort of thing
November 15, 2025 at 11:19 PM
Reverence
Can't believe the council are making me take down my nativity scene. I've tried reasoning with them, and even offered to make it smaller, but they say "Jesus shouldn't have his dick out, regardless of its size".
November 15, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Can't believe the council are making me take down my nativity scene. I've tried reasoning with them, and even offered to make it smaller, but they say "Jesus shouldn't have his dick out, regardless of its size".
Congratulations to #LUFC legend Ken Bates on his new job as Homeland Security social media div.
Yikes 😬 an official U.S. government account just referred to Americans as “imbecilic morons.” That’s… a choice.
November 15, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Congratulations to #LUFC legend Ken Bates on his new job as Homeland Security social media div.
@2wai
I tried calling my dead wife on the app and she says she's going to sleep, but I can hear the disco music and her personal trainer in the background. This is not what I paid for!
I tried calling my dead wife on the app and she says she's going to sleep, but I can hear the disco music and her personal trainer in the background. This is not what I paid for!
November 15, 2025 at 1:55 PM
@2wai
I tried calling my dead wife on the app and she says she's going to sleep, but I can hear the disco music and her personal trainer in the background. This is not what I paid for!
I tried calling my dead wife on the app and she says she's going to sleep, but I can hear the disco music and her personal trainer in the background. This is not what I paid for!
One like for my last post. You people would walk past the Taj Mahal without bothering to glance even twice. What do I pay you all for?
November 14, 2025 at 10:17 PM
One like for my last post. You people would walk past the Taj Mahal without bothering to glance even twice. What do I pay you all for?
You get to personalise it, if you put it in depeche mode.
The app Text With Jesus uses artificial intelligence and chatbots to offer spiritual guidance to users who are looking to connect with a higher power: on.nbc10.com/7XM8xrf
People can text with Jesus on a controversial new app. How does it work?
Artificial intelligence app Text With Jesus lets users chat with biblical figures and it is raising debate over faith and technology.
on.nbc10.com
November 14, 2025 at 10:04 PM
You get to personalise it, if you put it in depeche mode.
Reposted by Todd Lunch
thanks for tie-dying all the curtains mate very nice surprise i note you seem to have a key for my house
March 16, 2025 at 9:01 AM
thanks for tie-dying all the curtains mate very nice surprise i note you seem to have a key for my house
You are startled from your slumber by a roaring chainsaw, and a dark figure looming over you utters the words you hoped to never hear again. "Elmo wants to play!"
November 14, 2025 at 6:34 PM
You are startled from your slumber by a roaring chainsaw, and a dark figure looming over you utters the words you hoped to never hear again. "Elmo wants to play!"
You know how some parents mark the changing heights of their kids on the wall? I've been doing that but for my dog, to save time. Work smart, not hard.
November 14, 2025 at 5:45 PM
You know how some parents mark the changing heights of their kids on the wall? I've been doing that but for my dog, to save time. Work smart, not hard.
@eops.bsky.social
Thought you'd enjoy this. You're no doubt familiar with this song and the track that sampled it years later, but just in case...
youtu.be/9v2RKBwIm7E?...
Thought you'd enjoy this. You're no doubt familiar with this song and the track that sampled it years later, but just in case...
youtu.be/9v2RKBwIm7E?...
Thelma Houston - I'm Here Again
YouTube video by vinnyboy13
youtu.be
November 14, 2025 at 4:09 PM
@eops.bsky.social
Thought you'd enjoy this. You're no doubt familiar with this song and the track that sampled it years later, but just in case...
youtu.be/9v2RKBwIm7E?...
Thought you'd enjoy this. You're no doubt familiar with this song and the track that sampled it years later, but just in case...
youtu.be/9v2RKBwIm7E?...
Pasturbation - To wank lyrical about yore
November 14, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Pasturbation - To wank lyrical about yore
Well, the leader of a political party just liked my tweet, which feels odd. It'd normally cause me to rethink my actions and fill me with shame, but doesn't in this case.
November 13, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Well, the leader of a political party just liked my tweet, which feels odd. It'd normally cause me to rethink my actions and fill me with shame, but doesn't in this case.