Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 1h

If is so good why isn't there an 2?

Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 3h

Every weekday I wake up wildly anxious in anticipation of bad dental news. Like, "You are about to be out a couple thousand dollars" bad. Been a fun 2025.

Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 15h

Soup PTSD

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 17h

They had my long-time nemesis Smoltz in the booth talking about, "You hear that crowd? That's what they're gonna be up against. The Blue Jays have this in their corner." And then a minute later this is on screen to remind you baseball and the universe do not care about the stories we tell ourselves.

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 17h

That's a great stat, brother. Really goes to show the advantage the home team has.

A graphic on the MLB ALCS reading "Game 7 Fact: Home Team: 30-29 Record, Lost 7 of Last 8"

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 18h

Isn't it crazy Granblue has had, like, three different levels of paid collab end of service accelerationism, but is still like, "We can't make Belial playable"?

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 20h

If you're a weirdo who likes watching sports VODs (I am a weirdo who likes watching sports VODs), lmk, I can help

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Reposted by Ashley

Romhack.ing @romhack.ing · 21h

This game is basically Umamusume: Pretty Derby but if it had real horses.

Romhack.ing @romhack.ing · 21h

Gambler: Queen's Cup - English Translation (FM) Added

Gambler: Queen's Cup - English Translation - Content

This is a complete English translation of Gambler: Queen's Cup for the FM Towns.

romhack.ing

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Reposted by Ashley

✧Mirai✦ @starrymirai.moe · Feb 21

Anyways I also just remembered this amazing post

Tweet by @MementoMousie

"hey babe are you ready for some agepl- [Remembering she does not like that word] -gentle femdom mommy stuff?"

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 20h

"Only Nick Foles has done it with 7. Two players have accomplished it with 6: The two greatest quarterbacks in the history of the sport." is a perfect summary of Nick Foles as a player.

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 20h

A Wikipedia excerpt reading: "Statistics: Only Nick Foles has accomplished a perfect passer rating with seven touchdowns thrown. Two players have accomplished a perfect passer rating with six touchdowns thrown: Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. "

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 21h

"The Broncos came back from 19-0 in a single quarter to beat the Giants 33-32, with three lead changes in the final 1:51" undersells how ridiculous of a quarter it was.

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 1d

That's how it was for me, too.

JAV Titles @jav.scd.lol · 1d

Memory of a Transsexual's Budding Love: Fucks Her Way Through 12 Guys

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 2d

No, Mr. Sliwa. Every parade has the right to exist in EVERY city. Your softball answer tells me you're not prepared to truly fight for parades' rights unless you can get some votes out of it. Cravenly.

Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 2d

Reposting this from the site that's for the birds, where it had the caption "I Think You Should Leave sketch", because I've been crying laughing at this for a minute. It's just beautiful. You couldn't sketch it out funnier than this. Comedians couldn't play it out better.

Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 2d

I wish Eric Addams was still in the race, but honestly, he may be too big a character for this. Three-man setup is perfect. You have the guy giving himself fully over to the lunacy of the situation, the simpering guy who's visibly confused but trying to take advantage, and the stunned straight man.

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 2d

Reposting this from the site that's for the birds, where it had the caption "I Think You Should Leave sketch", because I've been crying laughing at this for a minute. It's just beautiful. You couldn't sketch it out funnier than this. Comedians couldn't play it out better.

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Reposted by Ashley

Haradoshin! 🐛 @haradoshin.bsky.social · 3d

🫡🫡🫡

A tumblr post that says “the only thin blue lines I support are the veins in big ass titties. Thank you for your service.”

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 3d

I gotta learn to do that to people.

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 3d

Wow, what changed that?

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 3d

🎶I want to
I want to
I want to kick The Cheaaaat🎶

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 3d

*vaguely luchador accent*
Now look at them yoyos, that's the way you do it
You bully Homestar and then kick The Cheat

Homestar Screens @grapenutsrobot.graphics · 3d

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 3d

Hooooolyyyyy shiiiit

We gotta kick the gerontocracy out and get more smart and passionate young people in politics, man. This has gotta win way more elections than it loses.

Zohran Kwame Mamdani @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social · 3d

What I don't have in experience, I make up for in integrity.

And what Andrew Cuomo lacks in integrity, he could never make up for with experience.

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 3d

I was assuming he was claiming all 3 had 16". Which is obviously impossible but like, people saying they've got 12" usually translates to a bit under 5", so 16" probably translates to over 6", right?

I like your idea, though. Dick measuring as a team sport.

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 3d

Me when I'm in a polycule with three transexuals with monster hogs.

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Ashley @touchthecow.myatproto.social · 4d

Call me Kirby cuz I will suck you to gain your abilities.

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