Ukobach
@uk0bach.bsky.social
I actually never had an account on that other place. So I'm sorta new to the whole microblogging thing. This place has a good vibe, though.
Pinned
Ukobach
@uk0bach.bsky.social
· Apr 14
You know the old Andy Griffith looking motherfucker in Die Hard 2?
The guy eating canned soup and watching an antique TV in a condemned building, 'til he got shot by weirdos?
First time I saw that shit, I was like "wow, what a weird life."
Joke's on me, now. That is basically my retirement plan.
The guy eating canned soup and watching an antique TV in a condemned building, 'til he got shot by weirdos?
First time I saw that shit, I was like "wow, what a weird life."
Joke's on me, now. That is basically my retirement plan.
Reposted by Ukobach
“Melania” is truly the worst experience I’ve had in a theater”
-Abraham Lincoln
-Abraham Lincoln
January 29, 2026 at 2:24 AM
“Melania” is truly the worst experience I’ve had in a theater”
-Abraham Lincoln
-Abraham Lincoln
When I was seven years old, I made a girl laugh so hard she almost threw up, by successfully typing several sentences with my nose, while we were in the school's computer lab.
It remains my single most successful attempt at flirting, to this day.
It remains my single most successful attempt at flirting, to this day.
January 29, 2026 at 2:15 AM
When I was seven years old, I made a girl laugh so hard she almost threw up, by successfully typing several sentences with my nose, while we were in the school's computer lab.
It remains my single most successful attempt at flirting, to this day.
It remains my single most successful attempt at flirting, to this day.
Vulcans touch people on the face: "oh, shit. this mf gonna read my mind."
Bajoran touches people on the ear: "the space wikipedia article doesn't say bajoros are telepaths, so I think this is dumb and stupid and dumb. what a dumb, superstitious people they are."
Bajoran touches people on the ear: "the space wikipedia article doesn't say bajoros are telepaths, so I think this is dumb and stupid and dumb. what a dumb, superstitious people they are."
January 29, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Vulcans touch people on the face: "oh, shit. this mf gonna read my mind."
Bajoran touches people on the ear: "the space wikipedia article doesn't say bajoros are telepaths, so I think this is dumb and stupid and dumb. what a dumb, superstitious people they are."
Bajoran touches people on the ear: "the space wikipedia article doesn't say bajoros are telepaths, so I think this is dumb and stupid and dumb. what a dumb, superstitious people they are."
If "this thing is very dangerous" was a sufficient argument to invade people lives, cars would be fully illegal.
Drug prohibition was ALWAYS about leaving a huge gateway open for fascism.
ANYONE CAN BE STRIPPED OF THEIR FREEDOM, BECAUSE THE COPS CLAIM YOU HAD BAD MOLECULES IN YOUR POSSESSION.
Drug prohibition was ALWAYS about leaving a huge gateway open for fascism.
ANYONE CAN BE STRIPPED OF THEIR FREEDOM, BECAUSE THE COPS CLAIM YOU HAD BAD MOLECULES IN YOUR POSSESSION.
January 29, 2026 at 1:01 AM
If "this thing is very dangerous" was a sufficient argument to invade people lives, cars would be fully illegal.
Drug prohibition was ALWAYS about leaving a huge gateway open for fascism.
ANYONE CAN BE STRIPPED OF THEIR FREEDOM, BECAUSE THE COPS CLAIM YOU HAD BAD MOLECULES IN YOUR POSSESSION.
Drug prohibition was ALWAYS about leaving a huge gateway open for fascism.
ANYONE CAN BE STRIPPED OF THEIR FREEDOM, BECAUSE THE COPS CLAIM YOU HAD BAD MOLECULES IN YOUR POSSESSION.
You know what more politicians need to do? Have the balls to say "we've all been lying about how bad drugs are."
Because everyone knows that's a fact.
Everyone knows that the unified position of "you shouldn't ever do drugs" is a lie, because most people do some drugs, and they're fine.
Because everyone knows that's a fact.
Everyone knows that the unified position of "you shouldn't ever do drugs" is a lie, because most people do some drugs, and they're fine.
January 29, 2026 at 12:47 AM
You know what more politicians need to do? Have the balls to say "we've all been lying about how bad drugs are."
Because everyone knows that's a fact.
Everyone knows that the unified position of "you shouldn't ever do drugs" is a lie, because most people do some drugs, and they're fine.
Because everyone knows that's a fact.
Everyone knows that the unified position of "you shouldn't ever do drugs" is a lie, because most people do some drugs, and they're fine.
Cyclops was never my favorite X-Men character, but I still want to point out that there needs to be a VR game where you play him.
I mean, he SHOOTS LAZERS OUT OF HIS FACE. Do I have to explain why a platform based on head-tracking would be perfect for a Cyclops game?
#VR #gaming
I mean, he SHOOTS LAZERS OUT OF HIS FACE. Do I have to explain why a platform based on head-tracking would be perfect for a Cyclops game?
#VR #gaming
January 29, 2026 at 12:29 AM
I have come to believe that, eventually, Buckethead will announce a retirement tour, and during his very last encore, he will remove his mask, so that he can play through a talkbox...
January 28, 2026 at 10:23 AM
I have come to believe that, eventually, Buckethead will announce a retirement tour, and during his very last encore, he will remove his mask, so that he can play through a talkbox...
Pictured: the entire Olympic Village wondering if they should make jokes about Heated Rivalry or not.
January 28, 2026 at 9:58 AM
Pictured: the entire Olympic Village wondering if they should make jokes about Heated Rivalry or not.
In the 1980s miniseries V, people are initially unsure if they can overthrow the disgusting, reptilian bastards who have taken over their whole society, but once they break through their initial hesitation, they quickly form an effective resistance and take back their home.
This post isn't about V.
This post isn't about V.
January 28, 2026 at 8:52 AM
In the 1980s miniseries V, people are initially unsure if they can overthrow the disgusting, reptilian bastards who have taken over their whole society, but once they break through their initial hesitation, they quickly form an effective resistance and take back their home.
This post isn't about V.
This post isn't about V.
Some "foreigners" technically violate immigration rules: "We need at least two or three separate police forces, to get them out of here!"
Businesses (domestic and foreign) pollute, defraud, and exploit: "We can't make the mistake of over-regulating. Think of the potential economic consequences!"
Businesses (domestic and foreign) pollute, defraud, and exploit: "We can't make the mistake of over-regulating. Think of the potential economic consequences!"
January 28, 2026 at 4:03 AM
Some "foreigners" technically violate immigration rules: "We need at least two or three separate police forces, to get them out of here!"
Businesses (domestic and foreign) pollute, defraud, and exploit: "We can't make the mistake of over-regulating. Think of the potential economic consequences!"
Businesses (domestic and foreign) pollute, defraud, and exploit: "We can't make the mistake of over-regulating. Think of the potential economic consequences!"
Reposted by Ukobach
Reposted by Ukobach
Ian Austin, an Army veteran, was arrested for protesting ICE in Minneapolis. But he’s continued protesting. Senior reporter @julialurie.bsky.social spoke to him.
“When they say, ‘Why would you be out here?’ How the fuck could I not be out here?” he says. “My nation is under attack."
“When they say, ‘Why would you be out here?’ How the fuck could I not be out here?” he says. “My nation is under attack."
January 27, 2026 at 5:30 PM
Ian Austin, an Army veteran, was arrested for protesting ICE in Minneapolis. But he’s continued protesting. Senior reporter @julialurie.bsky.social spoke to him.
“When they say, ‘Why would you be out here?’ How the fuck could I not be out here?” he says. “My nation is under attack."
“When they say, ‘Why would you be out here?’ How the fuck could I not be out here?” he says. “My nation is under attack."
Every five years or so, I remember that internet radio stations exist, listen to them like crazy for around 3 weeks, and then the concept retreats to the back of my brain for another 1,826 days.
January 27, 2026 at 10:21 AM
Every five years or so, I remember that internet radio stations exist, listen to them like crazy for around 3 weeks, and then the concept retreats to the back of my brain for another 1,826 days.
Reposted by Ukobach
After being Extremely Angry at me all day because I refuse to let her go outside in 20° weather, and has the audacity to put flea stuff on her, Bean-cat is lying at my feet. I'm afraid to move; 100% in danger of grouchy bites.
a brown and white cat is sitting on a table with the word aigritankey written in red
ALT: a brown and white cat is sitting on a table with the word aigritankey written in red
media.tenor.com
January 26, 2026 at 2:56 AM
After being Extremely Angry at me all day because I refuse to let her go outside in 20° weather, and has the audacity to put flea stuff on her, Bean-cat is lying at my feet. I'm afraid to move; 100% in danger of grouchy bites.
My 17-year-old cat came zipping into the room and scurried up onto a table so fast that she slipped and ended up hanging by one claw, from the edge of said table.
Imagine an 84-year-old woman leaping twice her own height and then dangling by one finger.
Cats are from another planet, I swear.
Imagine an 84-year-old woman leaping twice her own height and then dangling by one finger.
Cats are from another planet, I swear.
January 26, 2026 at 4:21 AM
My 17-year-old cat came zipping into the room and scurried up onto a table so fast that she slipped and ended up hanging by one claw, from the edge of said table.
Imagine an 84-year-old woman leaping twice her own height and then dangling by one finger.
Cats are from another planet, I swear.
Imagine an 84-year-old woman leaping twice her own height and then dangling by one finger.
Cats are from another planet, I swear.
I don't care which Star Trek series does it, but I need a scene where a Klingon is saying humans are cowards, and someone just casually links him to a Space Wikipedia article about thie history of cave diving on Earth.
January 26, 2026 at 3:14 AM
I don't care which Star Trek series does it, but I need a scene where a Klingon is saying humans are cowards, and someone just casually links him to a Space Wikipedia article about thie history of cave diving on Earth.
Where's the sneakily educational historical figures update, for Fortnite?
Being able to play as John Brown would make me download that shit, right now.
Being able to play as John Brown would make me download that shit, right now.
January 26, 2026 at 12:54 AM
Where's the sneakily educational historical figures update, for Fortnite?
Being able to play as John Brown would make me download that shit, right now.
Being able to play as John Brown would make me download that shit, right now.
Reposted by Ukobach
A poem by Geoffrey O’Brien.
January 25, 2026 at 10:06 PM
A poem by Geoffrey O’Brien.
*taps mic* When your government starts telling you that you need to disarm yourself, in order to remain safe from them, that is generally accepted as a good time to start worrying.
January 25, 2026 at 10:56 PM
*taps mic* When your government starts telling you that you need to disarm yourself, in order to remain safe from them, that is generally accepted as a good time to start worrying.
That awful, dirty, gritty, I-really-need-to-take-a-shower-right-now feeling that you get, when you leave the period off the last sentence of a skeet, because you needed all 300 characters and could not find any other way to make it fit.
January 24, 2026 at 2:32 PM
That awful, dirty, gritty, I-really-need-to-take-a-shower-right-now feeling that you get, when you leave the period off the last sentence of a skeet, because you needed all 300 characters and could not find any other way to make it fit.
Reposted by Ukobach
In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.
January 23, 2026 at 4:01 PM
In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.
A lot of y'all never played The Secret Island of Dr. Quandary, and it shows.
January 24, 2026 at 9:59 AM
A lot of y'all never played The Secret Island of Dr. Quandary, and it shows.
Confession time: I've only played like six Sonic games and three of those are racing games, so I have NO IDEA who most of the Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds characters are.
Are there Sonic loretubers that can explain that shit, like the loretubers explained Warhammer to my stupid ass?
Are there Sonic loretubers that can explain that shit, like the loretubers explained Warhammer to my stupid ass?
January 24, 2026 at 9:47 AM
Confession time: I've only played like six Sonic games and three of those are racing games, so I have NO IDEA who most of the Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds characters are.
Are there Sonic loretubers that can explain that shit, like the loretubers explained Warhammer to my stupid ass?
Are there Sonic loretubers that can explain that shit, like the loretubers explained Warhammer to my stupid ass?
This took me a second.
January 22, 2026 at 1:43 AM
This took me a second.
Reposted by Ukobach
January 20, 2026 at 4:16 PM