shitting myself in magnitudes that you wouldn't be able to comprehend
February 7, 2026 at 5:29 AM
shitting myself in magnitudes that you wouldn't be able to comprehend
when did computers go from being a device for seeing funny animal videos and sick naruto amvs to being a portal i use to mentally glimpse into the realm of backwards screaming painful fire shitting
February 7, 2026 at 5:27 AM
when did computers go from being a device for seeing funny animal videos and sick naruto amvs to being a portal i use to mentally glimpse into the realm of backwards screaming painful fire shitting
just closed my eyes while taking a bite of my burrito
October 18, 2025 at 3:50 AM
just closed my eyes while taking a bite of my burrito
Reposted by urp
because I know you need to see it rn:
October 3, 2025 at 6:24 PM
because I know you need to see it rn:
I'm sitting in a boardroom. I suddenly stand. "Instead of Little Caesar, Big Caeser."
October 4, 2025 at 4:20 AM
I'm sitting in a boardroom. I suddenly stand. "Instead of Little Caesar, Big Caeser."
Reposted by urp
i know one thing, you don’t go watch airbud if you are hoping to see a virgin on screen. this dog FUCKS
October 2, 2025 at 11:11 PM
i know one thing, you don’t go watch airbud if you are hoping to see a virgin on screen. this dog FUCKS
why y'all mfers always put the sour cream in the optimal spot to cumblast me in the back of my throat is that apart of training or what
July 25, 2025 at 4:08 AM
why y'all mfers always put the sour cream in the optimal spot to cumblast me in the back of my throat is that apart of training or what
mfers really don't be selling amulets anymore.
March 17, 2025 at 8:22 PM
mfers really don't be selling amulets anymore.
people be saying "oh you fell for the oldest trick in the book" what book? why have all you read from such a deceptive tome? were we not friends? or is that a scheme you learned from reading too? you dorks.
March 17, 2025 at 8:20 PM
people be saying "oh you fell for the oldest trick in the book" what book? why have all you read from such a deceptive tome? were we not friends? or is that a scheme you learned from reading too? you dorks.
I don't care if swallowing a pill wrong is a "user error" I'm not coming in because that shit ruined my week.
March 17, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I don't care if swallowing a pill wrong is a "user error" I'm not coming in because that shit ruined my week.
all the money in the world and elon looks like if you tried to poach a wax figurine of kevin durand
February 12, 2025 at 4:10 PM
all the money in the world and elon looks like if you tried to poach a wax figurine of kevin durand
it was simply a heated gamer moment guys when you're a high ranked poe2 player like edong that can sometimes happen
January 20, 2025 at 10:23 PM
it was simply a heated gamer moment guys when you're a high ranked poe2 player like edong that can sometimes happen
according to the book I'm reading pessimistic people die more quickly than optimistic people. which is great news for me who wants to die. er...well...hm...
January 20, 2025 at 3:08 PM
according to the book I'm reading pessimistic people die more quickly than optimistic people. which is great news for me who wants to die. er...well...hm...
anytime i see someone post their kids on a dating app all i think about is that one scene in nymphomaniac with uma thurman
December 31, 2024 at 9:04 PM
anytime i see someone post their kids on a dating app all i think about is that one scene in nymphomaniac with uma thurman
(reads "looking for golden retriever boyfriend :)" on dating app bio as i shit bits of tennis ball I chewed up and ate) I don't know what I'm doing wrong necessarily
December 21, 2024 at 4:22 PM
(reads "looking for golden retriever boyfriend :)" on dating app bio as i shit bits of tennis ball I chewed up and ate) I don't know what I'm doing wrong necessarily
therapist: so it sounds like you're a people pleaser
me: uhh, haha yeah if that's ok. if not we can go something else. but no biggie really.
me: uhh, haha yeah if that's ok. if not we can go something else. but no biggie really.
December 21, 2024 at 4:00 PM
therapist: so it sounds like you're a people pleaser
me: uhh, haha yeah if that's ok. if not we can go something else. but no biggie really.
me: uhh, haha yeah if that's ok. if not we can go something else. but no biggie really.
Reposted by urp
That's it. It's official. I'm done with people. I don't care anymore. Society is fucked.
*someone shows me the slightest bit of attention*
Okay I'm back in.
*someone shows me the slightest bit of attention*
Okay I'm back in.
December 8, 2024 at 9:21 PM
That's it. It's official. I'm done with people. I don't care anymore. Society is fucked.
*someone shows me the slightest bit of attention*
Okay I'm back in.
*someone shows me the slightest bit of attention*
Okay I'm back in.
the plot of bloodborne be like:
me: i'm gonna fuck the moon
some weird guy named the Lunar Patriot with an AI avi of andrew jackson wearing a space helmet: The FBI and NASA have been alerted, good luck in guantanamoon bay fucko
some weird guy named the Lunar Patriot with an AI avi of andrew jackson wearing a space helmet: The FBI and NASA have been alerted, good luck in guantanamoon bay fucko
December 9, 2024 at 2:18 PM
the plot of bloodborne be like:
other people: weed helps me with my creativity
me: i took an edible yesterday in the only thing i left in my notes app was the words "breakfast sausage"
me: i took an edible yesterday in the only thing i left in my notes app was the words "breakfast sausage"
December 9, 2024 at 2:17 PM
other people: weed helps me with my creativity
me: i took an edible yesterday in the only thing i left in my notes app was the words "breakfast sausage"
me: i took an edible yesterday in the only thing i left in my notes app was the words "breakfast sausage"
I'm gonna be honest with y'all I tell the Olive Garden server to stop when they're grating cheese on my pasta because I know that's what society expects. But if I didn't have to exist within society's constraints, you simply could not fathom how much cheese I would have them grate.
December 4, 2024 at 2:43 PM
I'm gonna be honest with y'all I tell the Olive Garden server to stop when they're grating cheese on my pasta because I know that's what society expects. But if I didn't have to exist within society's constraints, you simply could not fathom how much cheese I would have them grate.
Reposted by urp
Oh yay. I woke up again today. Something I totally wanted to happen. For sure. 😀
December 3, 2024 at 2:37 PM
Oh yay. I woke up again today. Something I totally wanted to happen. For sure. 😀
Contrary to popular belief, the giant red balls outside of Targets aren't for decoration. That's just where we incubate Disney adults.
December 3, 2024 at 4:20 PM
Contrary to popular belief, the giant red balls outside of Targets aren't for decoration. That's just where we incubate Disney adults.
Don't really get the appeal in Sleep Token
December 3, 2024 at 3:04 PM
Don't really get the appeal in Sleep Token