@vangoghsbigtoe.bsky.social
I had a stalker once, but then they saw me eat soup 🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦 🇨🇦
Holiday tip:
Please remember to take your frozen turkey out of the freezer to thaw in time for Christmas.
Please remember to take your frozen turkey out of the freezer to thaw in time for Christmas.
December 21, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Holiday tip:
Please remember to take your frozen turkey out of the freezer to thaw in time for Christmas.
Please remember to take your frozen turkey out of the freezer to thaw in time for Christmas.
Jake Paul and Andrew Tate both take a beating and both lose. The world is healing itself
December 21, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Jake Paul and Andrew Tate both take a beating and both lose. The world is healing itself
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
December 19, 2025 at 1:15 PM
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
Actual photo of my conception
December 18, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Actual photo of my conception
December 17, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Serious Question: If one of your friends is telling you a really sad story and their eyes are starting to water, how long should You wait before taking a bite of your sandwich
December 14, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Serious Question: If one of your friends is telling you a really sad story and their eyes are starting to water, how long should You wait before taking a bite of your sandwich
For years I’ve been telling my friend David, that he’ll never make it in Hollywood. Tonight he proved me wrong, well done Dave, well done!
#movies
#movies
December 11, 2025 at 1:59 AM
For years I’ve been telling my friend David, that he’ll never make it in Hollywood. Tonight he proved me wrong, well done Dave, well done!
#movies
#movies
Me, looking at my bank account transaction history and realizing everything adds up and nobody stole from me.
#christmas
#christmas
a close up of a black dog 's face looking at the camera
ALT: a close up of a black dog 's face looking at the camera
media.tenor.com
December 9, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Me, looking at my bank account transaction history and realizing everything adds up and nobody stole from me.
#christmas
#christmas
I just overheard a guy answer a question with “I don’t know, I was in Budapest”,
so that is totally going to be my “Go to” whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
#lifehack
so that is totally going to be my “Go to” whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
#lifehack
December 9, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I just overheard a guy answer a question with “I don’t know, I was in Budapest”,
so that is totally going to be my “Go to” whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
#lifehack
so that is totally going to be my “Go to” whenever I don’t have the answer to a question.
#lifehack
December 8, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Me, 5 minutes after putting on the movie I’ve been wanting to watch.
December 6, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Me, 5 minutes after putting on the movie I’ve been wanting to watch.
December 5, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Last Christmas, I gave her my heart
But the very next day, she gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give her Mop Slippers
But the very next day, she gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give her Mop Slippers
December 3, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Last Christmas, I gave her my heart
But the very next day, she gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give her Mop Slippers
But the very next day, she gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give her Mop Slippers
I had one job to do and its done ✅
Tree is up
One step closer to Christmas 🎅🏼
JOY!!
Tree is up
One step closer to Christmas 🎅🏼
JOY!!
December 2, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I had one job to do and its done ✅
Tree is up
One step closer to Christmas 🎅🏼
JOY!!
Tree is up
One step closer to Christmas 🎅🏼
JOY!!
Judging by all these reality TV shows, millions of people will do anything to get on TV. I've decided to start casting for my new TV show :
“So You Think You Can Shovel My Driveway, Canada”
“So You Think You Can Shovel My Driveway, Canada”
December 1, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Judging by all these reality TV shows, millions of people will do anything to get on TV. I've decided to start casting for my new TV show :
“So You Think You Can Shovel My Driveway, Canada”
“So You Think You Can Shovel My Driveway, Canada”
Fack!!!
Bad spot to stand when taking this pic
Bad spot to stand when taking this pic
November 26, 2025 at 11:46 AM
Fack!!!
Bad spot to stand when taking this pic
Bad spot to stand when taking this pic
But you’re still coming to work, right?
November 25, 2025 at 10:41 PM
But you’re still coming to work, right?
You too can have that stylish Trump hair, all you need is a 1kg jar of peanut butter. If done properly, you’ll have enough left over for lunch.
November 24, 2025 at 5:54 PM
You too can have that stylish Trump hair, all you need is a 1kg jar of peanut butter. If done properly, you’ll have enough left over for lunch.
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
November 23, 2025 at 5:49 AM
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
There's vomit on his sweater already: Mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
*hand touches hot stove*
MY BRAIN: “GET IT OFF NOW NOW!!!”
*mouth eats hot food*
MY BRAIN: “CHEW FASTER. BALANCE IT ON YOUR TEETH, JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. WAVE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH, DON'T SPIT IT OUT!! DON’T BE QUITTER !!!”
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
MY BRAIN: “GET IT OFF NOW NOW!!!”
*mouth eats hot food*
MY BRAIN: “CHEW FASTER. BALANCE IT ON YOUR TEETH, JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. WAVE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH, DON'T SPIT IT OUT!! DON’T BE QUITTER !!!”
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
November 23, 2025 at 1:26 AM
*hand touches hot stove*
MY BRAIN: “GET IT OFF NOW NOW!!!”
*mouth eats hot food*
MY BRAIN: “CHEW FASTER. BALANCE IT ON YOUR TEETH, JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. WAVE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH, DON'T SPIT IT OUT!! DON’T BE QUITTER !!!”
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
MY BRAIN: “GET IT OFF NOW NOW!!!”
*mouth eats hot food*
MY BRAIN: “CHEW FASTER. BALANCE IT ON YOUR TEETH, JUGGLE IT WITH YOUR TONGUE. WAVE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH, DON'T SPIT IT OUT!! DON’T BE QUITTER !!!”
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
I always feel a little sad for the guy who misses a belt loop on his pants.
November 21, 2025 at 8:32 PM
I always feel a little sad for the guy who misses a belt loop on his pants.
If you blacken out the teeth of Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson, they look like the two happiest Beach Hobos ever!
November 19, 2025 at 8:52 AM
If you blacken out the teeth of Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson, they look like the two happiest Beach Hobos ever!