Mark Watson: MURDER OF A FAMOUS BASTARD
@watsoncomedian.bsky.social
I do standup and also write all manner of things. At the moment I'm very much doing this: @murderbastard.bsky.social
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I've mentioned this quietly, but - since the summer my hobby has been making this ambitious murder mystery podcast. A story. Narrated by me, with a mouthwatering cast. Partly interactive. Trailer is coming tomorrow but if you like the sound of this, please follow @murderbastard.bsky.social.
Went to see Radiohead, 28 years on from my first time. It was great. If you can, I do recommend spending your money on experiences that make you feel properly alive. You’re unlikely to regret it.
November 25, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Went to see Radiohead, 28 years on from my first time. It was great. If you can, I do recommend spending your money on experiences that make you feel properly alive. You’re unlikely to regret it.
Black Friday is basically bollocks and small businesses deserve your support.
I’m not doing Black Friday this year.
I’d rather be honest with you than try to compete with big brands.
Every purchase genuinely makes a difference to my tiny business.
Shop independent this Christmas.
www.gailmyerscough.co.uk
I’d rather be honest with you than try to compete with big brands.
Every purchase genuinely makes a difference to my tiny business.
Shop independent this Christmas.
www.gailmyerscough.co.uk
November 24, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Black Friday is basically bollocks and small businesses deserve your support.
This is a week away. Will be good possibly.
A bit more on this podcast and how it is meant to operate. This is kind of a new idea (I think) so it might not work. It might, though. I think you'll like the story, regardless.
November 23, 2025 at 9:34 PM
This is a week away. Will be good possibly.
What is your Alright Granddad opinion - the one you already know you’ll still be boring people with when you’re 70? (Mine is that planned engineering work on railways should not take place at weekends.)
November 22, 2025 at 3:53 PM
What is your Alright Granddad opinion - the one you already know you’ll still be boring people with when you’re 70? (Mine is that planned engineering work on railways should not take place at weekends.)
Today in Hearing One Half Of A Phone Conversation: a woman on the train going 'all the more reason to empty your freezer, then. ALL THE MORE REASON.'
November 22, 2025 at 9:58 AM
Today in Hearing One Half Of A Phone Conversation: a woman on the train going 'all the more reason to empty your freezer, then. ALL THE MORE REASON.'
No More Jockeys purists: tomorrow is the birthday of fabled fourth player Dinky Donk. He isn't on here, but if you want to wish him a happy one, I will confuse him by passing on screenshots.
November 21, 2025 at 6:56 PM
No More Jockeys purists: tomorrow is the birthday of fabled fourth player Dinky Donk. He isn't on here, but if you want to wish him a happy one, I will confuse him by passing on screenshots.
Also, the bit where you could go into pubs again but only if you ordered a seafood platter or a cheeseboard.
The Covid enquiry brings back so many memories
Cheltenham going ahead
Caprice getting mocked bc woman even though she was FUCKING RIGHT
JRM honking 'just use a handkerchief' after leaving the 1st meeting gvt bothered to attend
Fucking Cummings Post Durham Smirk
Constant fawning by a BozBrained press
Cheltenham going ahead
Caprice getting mocked bc woman even though she was FUCKING RIGHT
JRM honking 'just use a handkerchief' after leaving the 1st meeting gvt bothered to attend
Fucking Cummings Post Durham Smirk
Constant fawning by a BozBrained press
November 20, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Also, the bit where you could go into pubs again but only if you ordered a seafood platter or a cheeseboard.
A shame today to be made to think about Dominic Cummings again, after four years of assuming he just fell down a well and all the press went ‘that’s why Cummings is so important; no-one expected the well’.
November 20, 2025 at 7:54 PM
A shame today to be made to think about Dominic Cummings again, after four years of assuming he just fell down a well and all the press went ‘that’s why Cummings is so important; no-one expected the well’.
But does the 500 + 500 miles factor in getting home? I’m not convinced they’re walking all the way to central Poland to fall down at your door and *then* flying back to Edinburgh. It starts to add up.
This is how far The Proclaimers were prepared to walk.
November 20, 2025 at 6:58 PM
But does the 500 + 500 miles factor in getting home? I’m not convinced they’re walking all the way to central Poland to fall down at your door and *then* flying back to Edinburgh. It starts to add up.
Thank you for your amazing help so far! This sort of thing used to be easy on Twitter but I would like to prove it is possible to launch and promote something entirely through this website. Which it is.
I've mentioned this quietly, but - since the summer my hobby has been making this ambitious murder mystery podcast. A story. Narrated by me, with a mouthwatering cast. Partly interactive. Trailer is coming tomorrow but if you like the sound of this, please follow @murderbastard.bsky.social.
November 18, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Thank you for your amazing help so far! This sort of thing used to be easy on Twitter but I would like to prove it is possible to launch and promote something entirely through this website. Which it is.
I've mentioned this quietly, but - since the summer my hobby has been making this ambitious murder mystery podcast. A story. Narrated by me, with a mouthwatering cast. Partly interactive. Trailer is coming tomorrow but if you like the sound of this, please follow @murderbastard.bsky.social.
November 18, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I've mentioned this quietly, but - since the summer my hobby has been making this ambitious murder mystery podcast. A story. Narrated by me, with a mouthwatering cast. Partly interactive. Trailer is coming tomorrow but if you like the sound of this, please follow @murderbastard.bsky.social.
My daughter's class had homework on Plato's Cave. Parents in the WhatsApp group were panicking it seemed too hard. I said just hand something in and tell the teacher she's only seeing the shadow of the *real* homework. Got nothing. No laughing emojis, no HAHAHA. I'm fucking wasted on these people.
November 18, 2025 at 2:04 PM
My daughter's class had homework on Plato's Cave. Parents in the WhatsApp group were panicking it seemed too hard. I said just hand something in and tell the teacher she's only seeing the shadow of the *real* homework. Got nothing. No laughing emojis, no HAHAHA. I'm fucking wasted on these people.
Reposted by Mark Watson: MURDER OF A FAMOUS BASTARD
Yes. Do it. This has gone on long enough.
Exclusive:
UK ministers plan to ban the resale of tickets for live events above their original cost, in an aggressive crackdown on touts and resellers who sharply increase the price of admission to concerts and sports events.
www.ft.com/content/e76d...
UK ministers plan to ban the resale of tickets for live events above their original cost, in an aggressive crackdown on touts and resellers who sharply increase the price of admission to concerts and sports events.
www.ft.com/content/e76d...
UK to ban resale of tickets above face value for live events
Aggressive crackdown on touts comes after backlash over cost of watching live music and sport
www.ft.com
November 17, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Yes. Do it. This has gone on long enough.
This is gnawing away at me, but I don’t think they would be keen to have my feedback.
November 17, 2025 at 5:17 PM
This is gnawing away at me, but I don’t think they would be keen to have my feedback.
Brushing my teeth to see the dentist but not so thoroughly that it seems an attempt to impress the dentist. I’m a criminal mastermind.
November 17, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Brushing my teeth to see the dentist but not so thoroughly that it seems an attempt to impress the dentist. I’m a criminal mastermind.
I was on 'The Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls' in 2017 and he wasn't present on the island for more than half an hour, so the guy does have a history of making creative claims, but even so...
November 17, 2025 at 2:44 PM
I was on 'The Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls' in 2017 and he wasn't present on the island for more than half an hour, so the guy does have a history of making creative claims, but even so...
I do like doing this, I admit.
November 16, 2025 at 8:21 PM
I do like doing this, I admit.
Reposted by Mark Watson: MURDER OF A FAMOUS BASTARD
I love it when an organisation accidentally puts its desktop on a projector, it’s like seeing your most straitlaced friend get drunk.
November 16, 2025 at 6:16 PM
I love it when an organisation accidentally puts its desktop on a projector, it’s like seeing your most straitlaced friend get drunk.
I have done a show on a train, and one on a ferry. The ferry (across the Mersey) was great fun. The train was nightmarish technically. Still, got to try things in life, haven't you.
How about doing your gig on public transport? Megabus. Transpennine. The Circle Line.
November 16, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I have done a show on a train, and one on a ferry. The ferry (across the Mersey) was great fun. The train was nightmarish technically. Still, got to try things in life, haven't you.
Not to sound lazy but when you've been touring as long as I have, all on public transport, you really appreciate a venue that's near the station. I might start structuring tours entirely on that criterion.
November 16, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Not to sound lazy but when you've been touring as long as I have, all on public transport, you really appreciate a venue that's near the station. I might start structuring tours entirely on that criterion.
I had a long chat with Justin about - your friend and mine - pop music. It’s what he calls a textcast. You don’t listen to it, like a podcast. You literally sit and read it.
NEW! #FirstLastAnything ep 33: Stand-up and novelist Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian.bsky.social) joins me this week to talk about how music helped to inspire his crafts of writing and performing. Plus his first, last and wildcard purchases! Join us! firstlastanything.co.uk/2025/11/16/f...
FLA 33: Mark Watson (16/11/2025)
For over twenty years now, the writer-performer Mark Watson has sustained two parallel careers. In one of them, he has pursued stand-up comedy to great acclaim, both in live settings and via broadc…
firstlastanything.co.uk
November 16, 2025 at 11:14 AM
I had a long chat with Justin about - your friend and mine - pop music. It’s what he calls a textcast. You don’t listen to it, like a podcast. You literally sit and read it.
Alt text has got to have a go at conveying the actual image, right? How the people look and what they're wearing, etc; the physical details of the backdrop? It feels odd to have alt text that just says 'me and my mate Francis at the Colosseum, that should do it'?
November 15, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Alt text has got to have a go at conveying the actual image, right? How the people look and what they're wearing, etc; the physical details of the backdrop? It feels odd to have alt text that just says 'me and my mate Francis at the Colosseum, that should do it'?
We’ll see. There is a lot involved in running the world. Good luck to them developing the range of sandwiches we have. Or even getting up to the top bunk to sleep.
November 13, 2025 at 6:45 PM
We’ll see. There is a lot involved in running the world. Good luck to them developing the range of sandwiches we have. Or even getting up to the top bunk to sleep.