Weird Christmas
@weirdxmas.bsky.social
All things holly, jolly, and odd-ly.
Pinned
The submissions are IN! Now it's time to beg for money to pay people!
(And I wish I didn't have to say this, but I do: donating does not influence me to favor your story at all. I and my crew read them without names attached.)
(And I wish I didn't have to say this, but I do: donating does not influence me to favor your story at all. I and my crew read them without names attached.)
She's been waiting since 1907.
December 7, 2025 at 1:15 PM
She's been waiting since 1907.
Don't you always think of your old marsupial friends on Christmas morning?
December 7, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Don't you always think of your old marsupial friends on Christmas morning?
UNSPECIFIED - JANUARY 01: Illustration of the Santa Clause in 1997 (Photo by Francois LOCHON/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)
December 7, 2025 at 10:45 AM
UNSPECIFIED - JANUARY 01: Illustration of the Santa Clause in 1997 (Photo by Francois LOCHON/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)
The kangaroo assures us this method of turkey preparation is remarkably quiet, avoiding any undue drama. Just a simple, silent thrust.
December 7, 2025 at 9:30 AM
The kangaroo assures us this method of turkey preparation is remarkably quiet, avoiding any undue drama. Just a simple, silent thrust.
St. Lucy. She has a thing for horns. It's not Freudian. The eye thing is, tho.
December 7, 2025 at 8:15 AM
St. Lucy. She has a thing for horns. It's not Freudian. The eye thing is, tho.
This is an allegory. No one knows what of, but it's an allegory.
December 7, 2025 at 7:00 AM
This is an allegory. No one knows what of, but it's an allegory.
One day, all Christmas cards will be made by a highly efficient, single-sex workforce, meticulously carving seasonal cheer from solid ice. Productivity will soar.
December 7, 2025 at 5:30 AM
One day, all Christmas cards will be made by a highly efficient, single-sex workforce, meticulously carving seasonal cheer from solid ice. Productivity will soar.
"Old Christmas" is the name of a crappy house magician who pulls meatballs from his hat.
December 7, 2025 at 4:15 AM
"Old Christmas" is the name of a crappy house magician who pulls meatballs from his hat.
Goat. Not GOAT. Just goat.
December 7, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Goat. Not GOAT. Just goat.
Who will eat whom?
December 6, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Who will eat whom?
Wait, what d... does? I... nvm
December 6, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Wait, what d... does? I... nvm
So he just crams his utensils through his outer skin for convenience? Noted.
December 6, 2025 at 7:30 PM
So he just crams his utensils through his outer skin for convenience? Noted.
But if you could fly...?
December 6, 2025 at 6:15 PM
But if you could fly...?
Father Christmas blesses the Festive Meatball! Fetal-Alcohol-Syndrome-Sally brings the drinks.
December 6, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Father Christmas blesses the Festive Meatball! Fetal-Alcohol-Syndrome-Sally brings the drinks.
Yep! Still out here pimpin'...
The submissions are IN! Now it's time to beg for money to pay people!
(And I wish I didn't have to say this, but I do: donating does not influence me to favor your story at all. I and my crew read them without names attached.)
(And I wish I didn't have to say this, but I do: donating does not influence me to favor your story at all. I and my crew read them without names attached.)
December 6, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Yep! Still out here pimpin'...
This is a Christmas card. It doesn't explain the pig on the inside. You see pigs on New Years cards because they're symbols of luck. But not so much on Christmas cards.
December 6, 2025 at 2:30 PM
This is a Christmas card. It doesn't explain the pig on the inside. You see pigs on New Years cards because they're symbols of luck. But not so much on Christmas cards.
Remember to feed the moon, kiddies! (Also, just WTF!?!?!?)
December 6, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Remember to feed the moon, kiddies! (Also, just WTF!?!?!?)
The Mennonites hope you get new home made clothes this year that look just like your old clothes (and your sister's old clothes, and your mom's old clothes, and your grandma's...)
December 6, 2025 at 12:00 PM
The Mennonites hope you get new home made clothes this year that look just like your old clothes (and your sister's old clothes, and your mom's old clothes, and your grandma's...)
I really don't know what to think about this one. Not even in a sarcastic way. I'm just...blank.
December 6, 2025 at 10:45 AM
I really don't know what to think about this one. Not even in a sarcastic way. I'm just...blank.
"This came outta me."
December 6, 2025 at 9:30 AM
"This came outta me."
The plainness is overwhelming.
December 6, 2025 at 8:15 AM
The plainness is overwhelming.