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Simon, but spookier.

@winklesbloke.bsky.social

560 followers 280 following 11K posts

Woke lefty, plant fueled, cyclist and runner. Almost certainly not as clever as he'd like to think. he/him

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 9h

Uh-oh. It's only half past six and I appear to have sunk a few pints of cloudy hipster beer.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 11h

For everyone concerned I would imagine.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 12h

I don't that think anybody needs a twelve hour erection!

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 12h

The red pill? And risk finding out what's really going on? Count me out.

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 12h

As soon as the money from the distant rich relative I've never heard of's will comes in, I'm stocking up.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 12h

No time to chat about that nonsense, I've just checked my emails and Monica, Caitlin and Kristin all want to date me for sex, so I'd best get cracking and get these remarkably cheap erection pills ordered.

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 13h

Tempting, but I often take the path of least resistance, so might try tidying up after myself first.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 13h

Being called out on my bullshit often makes me sad too. The struggle is real.

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 14h

Good luck with that, Mr Zuckerberg and co.

I once met a former bodyguard of one billionaire with his own "bunker", who told me his security team's first priority, if this really did happen, would be to eliminate said boss and get in the bunker themselves. And he didn't seem to be joking.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 16h

My wife had a Fiat 500 as a lease car a few years back, somebody gave her a set of lashes so she attached them for a bit. The car clearly wasn't happy with this and needed an endless set of repairs - radiator, stereo, clutch, jettisoned wheel trims. Cursed motor.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 17h

🤢

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 17h

I'd imagine that a certain somebody will be using words along those lines in a string of angry social media posts.

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 17h

CROOKED, WOKE, NOBEL COMMITTEE.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 17h

No eyelashes on the Fiat's headlights?

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 17h

Not me personally, but then I wasn't expecting a Nobel prize any time soon.

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 17h

Big sulk incoming.

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 17h

All well and good, but what about gin?

American Association of Wine Economists AAWE @wineecon.bsky.social · 1d

"No more than a liter of wine a day" - In the early 1950s, when French wine consumption was 140+ liters/capita, France launched the campaign "Santé Sobriété" to limit alcohol consumption. In 1954, Philippe Foré became the chief designer. #WineHistory`

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 18h

I always admired the way that John Pertwee rocked the Third Doctor's cape. Failing that his turn as Worzel Gummidge might make a good future costume for Terry.

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Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 18h

Priests don't want you to avoid purgatory using this one weird tip.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 18h

We went to see Mark Steel's current stand up show last night. Highly recommended if you happen to be near any of the venues for the rest of the tour.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 18h

Still coming in loud and clear here. Honestly, sometimes I think it depends on which way the wind is blowing as much as anything else.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 1d

Aslan? She'd probably chase him off.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 1d

I did wonder. I thought perhaps it was a special drawer where they kept their heels.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 1d

Ivy does meow, but chose not to when I was calling her name from directly outside of my son's wardrobe. She doesn't always help herself.

Simon, but spookier. @winklesbloke.bsky.social · 1d

She's a dickhead. I love her, but she's a dickhead.