Wolfram Alpha Male
@wolframalphamale.bsky.social
nasty, brutish, and short
she/her
she/her
Pinned
family shenanigans thread
father, to Grandma's cat: we're going to put the 'fancy' into 'feast'
father, to Grandma's cat: we're going to put the 'fancy' into 'feast'
December 20, 2025 at 12:37 AM
family shenanigans thread
father, to Grandma's cat: we're going to put the 'fancy' into 'feast'
father, to Grandma's cat: we're going to put the 'fancy' into 'feast'
there should be a type of train that takes me directly from where I am to where I want to be
December 19, 2025 at 10:26 PM
there should be a type of train that takes me directly from where I am to where I want to be
someone lined up to board this flight has an extremely fluffy white dog and I hope this is not the yappy horror I heard earlier
December 19, 2025 at 1:22 PM
someone lined up to board this flight has an extremely fluffy white dog and I hope this is not the yappy horror I heard earlier
someone in this terminal has the loudest yappy dog that has ever existed and I don't understand how something smaller than my cat can be so obnoxious
December 19, 2025 at 12:53 PM
someone in this terminal has the loudest yappy dog that has ever existed and I don't understand how something smaller than my cat can be so obnoxious
overheard at BOS: Oh my gahd, I found a tequila bah! Do they serve food?
December 19, 2025 at 12:40 PM
overheard at BOS: Oh my gahd, I found a tequila bah! Do they serve food?
today I go to the fourth circle of hell (LAX (the ninth is Dulles))
December 19, 2025 at 12:00 PM
today I go to the fourth circle of hell (LAX (the ninth is Dulles))
Socks Cat has full greebles. charging around to every corner and warbling
December 17, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Socks Cat has full greebles. charging around to every corner and warbling
nothing better than sports fans booing when their own team is rightly penalized
December 17, 2025 at 12:24 AM
nothing better than sports fans booing when their own team is rightly penalized
me: FML I cannot fall asleep
socks cat: would it help if I gallomphed around chasing my own tail in the bathtub
socks cat: would it help if I gallomphed around chasing my own tail in the bathtub
December 16, 2025 at 5:46 AM
me: FML I cannot fall asleep
socks cat: would it help if I gallomphed around chasing my own tail in the bathtub
socks cat: would it help if I gallomphed around chasing my own tail in the bathtub
Reposted by Wolfram Alpha Male
hanukkah happening at what is basically (in the northern hemisphere) the darkest, coldest time of year is such a blessing.
it’s a holiday that says “perhaps you’d feel better with some light and warmth and a nice fried potato situation?” and it’s entirely correct, all of those things DO help!
it’s a holiday that says “perhaps you’d feel better with some light and warmth and a nice fried potato situation?” and it’s entirely correct, all of those things DO help!
December 16, 2025 at 5:31 AM
hanukkah happening at what is basically (in the northern hemisphere) the darkest, coldest time of year is such a blessing.
it’s a holiday that says “perhaps you’d feel better with some light and warmth and a nice fried potato situation?” and it’s entirely correct, all of those things DO help!
it’s a holiday that says “perhaps you’d feel better with some light and warmth and a nice fried potato situation?” and it’s entirely correct, all of those things DO help!
Reposted by Wolfram Alpha Male
I made a meme for my friend the Raiders fan
December 15, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I made a meme for my friend the Raiders fan
garrett stubbs abides by beit shammai ig
As Hanukkah celebrations begin, our hearts are with the Jewish community during this difficult time.
We wish all around the world celebrating a safe and happy holiday filled with the light and love of friends and family.
We wish all around the world celebrating a safe and happy holiday filled with the light and love of friends and family.
December 14, 2025 at 11:21 PM
garrett stubbs abides by beit shammai ig
Socks Cat: one (1) attention pls. little bit attention
Duck: WAIT HE'S GETTING ATTENTION WHERE'S MY ATTENTION I WANT ATTENTION TOO GIVE ME ATTENTION NOW
Duck: WAIT HE'S GETTING ATTENTION WHERE'S MY ATTENTION I WANT ATTENTION TOO GIVE ME ATTENTION NOW
December 13, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Socks Cat: one (1) attention pls. little bit attention
Duck: WAIT HE'S GETTING ATTENTION WHERE'S MY ATTENTION I WANT ATTENTION TOO GIVE ME ATTENTION NOW
Duck: WAIT HE'S GETTING ATTENTION WHERE'S MY ATTENTION I WANT ATTENTION TOO GIVE ME ATTENTION NOW
I'm so glad I'm not watching this eagles game
December 9, 2025 at 4:13 AM
I'm so glad I'm not watching this eagles game
I can hear Socks Cat chasing his tail in the bathtub from my room but whenever I go in there to take a video he suddenly lays down and pretends he's a dignified old man cat instead of a massive dork who thumps around chasing his tail in the bathtub
December 4, 2025 at 4:46 AM
I can hear Socks Cat chasing his tail in the bathtub from my room but whenever I go in there to take a video he suddenly lays down and pretends he's a dignified old man cat instead of a massive dork who thumps around chasing his tail in the bathtub
apropos of my last post @profanity.accountant yo
December 3, 2025 at 4:36 AM
apropos of my last post @profanity.accountant yo
got home and immediately found a gray hair. I am going to attribute this to my family
December 1, 2025 at 4:52 AM
got home and immediately found a gray hair. I am going to attribute this to my family
someone is carrying an entire christmas tree through 30th St Station. I hope she bought it its own train ticket
November 30, 2025 at 4:47 PM
someone is carrying an entire christmas tree through 30th St Station. I hope she bought it its own train ticket
flyers...bad
November 27, 2025 at 12:15 AM
flyers...bad
Thanksgiving family drama thread
Grandma is telling everyone about the drama between her shul and the shul she would never go to
Grandma is telling everyone about the drama between her shul and the shul she would never go to
November 26, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Thanksgiving family drama thread
Grandma is telling everyone about the drama between her shul and the shul she would never go to
Grandma is telling everyone about the drama between her shul and the shul she would never go to
Reposted by Wolfram Alpha Male
It is asked, what if I didn't watch the game because I argued too long with my uncle? If you argue about the game then you are covered.
November 25, 2025 at 6:38 PM
It is asked, what if I didn't watch the game because I argued too long with my uncle? If you argue about the game then you are covered.
Reposted by Wolfram Alpha Male
What are the mitzves of Thanks Giving, a festive meal, to eat the turkey bird, to hear the story of thepilgrim, to watch the football game. And some say to argue with an uncle.
November 25, 2025 at 6:37 PM
What are the mitzves of Thanks Giving, a festive meal, to eat the turkey bird, to hear the story of thepilgrim, to watch the football game. And some say to argue with an uncle.
Reposted by Wolfram Alpha Male
Friendly reminder not to ruin Thanksgiving dinner by bringing up politics…ruin Thanksgiving dinner by asking about the halacha of a chick standing with one leg within 50 cubits from the dovecote and one leg beyond 50 cubits.
November 23, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Friendly reminder not to ruin Thanksgiving dinner by bringing up politics…ruin Thanksgiving dinner by asking about the halacha of a chick standing with one leg within 50 cubits from the dovecote and one leg beyond 50 cubits.