maimonides nutz
@maimonidesnutz.bsky.social
Maimonides, as in the 12th Century Jewish philosopher - and Nutz as in “Deez Nutz.” (I’m not Maimonides but I’m definitely Nutz)
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Hello new visitors! If you’re thinking of following, please note that while I occasionally take a principled stance, I mostly just shitpost about the Talmud
he was asked which of his two aunts’ side dishes were best. he replied “teiku”
November 25, 2025 at 8:07 PM
he was asked which of his two aunts’ side dishes were best. he replied “teiku”
There’s a big cleaning/organizing task in every room of my house and I don’t want to do any of them and I’m freaking out a bit
Pistachio latte time!!
Pistachio latte time!!
November 25, 2025 at 7:49 PM
There’s a big cleaning/organizing task in every room of my house and I don’t want to do any of them and I’m freaking out a bit
Pistachio latte time!!
Pistachio latte time!!
Reposted by maimonides nutz
Claes van Heussen, Fruit and Vegetable Seller, 1630, Oil on canvas, 157 x 200 cm (Private collection)
November 24, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Claes van Heussen, Fruit and Vegetable Seller, 1630, Oil on canvas, 157 x 200 cm (Private collection)
Sorry to see this is such a common Jewish experience
November 25, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Sorry to see this is such a common Jewish experience
Having evangelical friends:
November 25, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Having evangelical friends:
Also kind of a red flag that my partner was annoyed that I got him involved
November 24, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Also kind of a red flag that my partner was annoyed that I got him involved
Also I’ll never know why that guy was holding a pair of pants. He had pants on, but also just a pair of pants in his hand…WHY WAS HE HOLDING PANTS??
November 24, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Also I’ll never know why that guy was holding a pair of pants. He had pants on, but also just a pair of pants in his hand…WHY WAS HE HOLDING PANTS??
It’s wild to me that one time a guy saw me go into my building, buzzed all the apartments until someone let him in, followed me up the stairs, and didn’t back down until my then-partner came out, and that’s kind of just…something that happened? I don’t even think about it that much…
November 24, 2025 at 6:11 PM
It’s wild to me that one time a guy saw me go into my building, buzzed all the apartments until someone let him in, followed me up the stairs, and didn’t back down until my then-partner came out, and that’s kind of just…something that happened? I don’t even think about it that much…
I want to send out a holiday card that’s just this:
November 24, 2025 at 5:05 PM
I want to send out a holiday card that’s just this:
I told her it was her fault
November 24, 2025 at 3:32 PM
I told her it was her fault
Showed my Labublical drawings to my mom today (she somehow knew what they were??) and she said “you’re a very weird person (complimentary)”
November 24, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Showed my Labublical drawings to my mom today (she somehow knew what they were??) and she said “you’re a very weird person (complimentary)”
Oh this is his predecessor 😅
The final boss of reconciliation
The final boss of reconciliation
November 24, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Oh this is his predecessor 😅
The final boss of reconciliation
The final boss of reconciliation
Exactly
November 24, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Exactly
Reposted by maimonides nutz
New biblical drinking game—read the Hebrew Bible and take a shot every time someone really needs therapy.
November 24, 2025 at 12:17 AM
New biblical drinking game—read the Hebrew Bible and take a shot every time someone really needs therapy.
Second draft…not much better
(No offense to my Xtian MNutz followers….y’all can stay)
(No offense to my Xtian MNutz followers….y’all can stay)
November 23, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Second draft…not much better
(No offense to my Xtian MNutz followers….y’all can stay)
(No offense to my Xtian MNutz followers….y’all can stay)
If you’re wondering if I’m always Like This, this was my first draft
![I am fine with giving you space if that is what you need, I am NOT ok with giving you space while you plaster "for a good time please call [my number]" all over the bathrooms of the institutional Evangelical world.
Please don't give out my number again. As a Jewish person, being contacted by a church triggers something deep and epigenetic in me.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:aoutelq35zmrhsbct5zldpck/bafkreiayjb7kye5idgmbiojz2kjr5hhkg52bqa7s3f4egodd3le7udbmfu@jpeg)
November 23, 2025 at 10:50 PM
If you’re wondering if I’m always Like This, this was my first draft
Amazing how quickly “my best friend from college became evangelical” went from “he’s back in my life and he wants to talk about God” to “he blocked me (possibly) and gave my number to his church” 😕
November 23, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Amazing how quickly “my best friend from college became evangelical” went from “he’s back in my life and he wants to talk about God” to “he blocked me (possibly) and gave my number to his church” 😕
I’m gonna put it up later!!
November 23, 2025 at 8:45 PM
I’m gonna put it up later!!
There is only one legitimate Hanukkah sweater
November 23, 2025 at 6:37 PM
There is only one legitimate Hanukkah sweater
i love finding stickers that speak to my soul (from Diva Nigun)
(link in next skeet)
(link in next skeet)
November 23, 2025 at 6:21 PM
i love finding stickers that speak to my soul (from Diva Nigun)
(link in next skeet)
(link in next skeet)
I live tweeted a mental breakdown and everyone was like "hey this girl is really funny," and somehow because of that now I'm considering a path in spiritual leadership?
November 23, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I live tweeted a mental breakdown and everyone was like "hey this girl is really funny," and somehow because of that now I'm considering a path in spiritual leadership?
NST: Nutz Standard Time
November 23, 2025 at 3:53 PM
NST: Nutz Standard Time