maimonides nutz
@maimonidesnutz.bsky.social
Maimonides, as in the 12th Century Jewish philosopher - and Nutz as in “Deez Nutz.” (I’m not Maimonides but I’m definitely Nutz) she/her
Pinned
Hello new visitors! If you’re thinking of following, please note that while I occasionally take a principled stance, I mostly just shitpost about the Talmud
One time recently a guy told me that me having guy best friends was a red flag, so I told him still viewing the world through the lens of a sixteen year old was a bigger red flag
January 19, 2026 at 11:32 PM
One time recently a guy told me that me having guy best friends was a red flag, so I told him still viewing the world through the lens of a sixteen year old was a bigger red flag
I have a limited capacity for how much rejection I can take so I’m deciding between starting to date again and writing/sending out a pitch for a book of my art to indie Jewish publishers
Oh no! How will I ever decide??
Oh no! How will I ever decide??
January 19, 2026 at 4:11 PM
I have a limited capacity for how much rejection I can take so I’m deciding between starting to date again and writing/sending out a pitch for a book of my art to indie Jewish publishers
Oh no! How will I ever decide??
Oh no! How will I ever decide??
My old dog was such a photogenic champ. One time I went to take an analog shot of him and he sat there patiently while I set it up 🤩
January 19, 2026 at 2:59 PM
My old dog was such a photogenic champ. One time I went to take an analog shot of him and he sat there patiently while I set it up 🤩
The art and the Artist
January 19, 2026 at 12:58 PM
The art and the Artist
Reposted by maimonides nutz
January 18, 2026 at 6:03 PM
I’m making a playlist for this thing which is just the music I listened to on repeat while doing my work. It’s the quickest way to admit to all my friends that I have ADHD
January 18, 2026 at 4:39 PM
I’m making a playlist for this thing which is just the music I listened to on repeat while doing my work. It’s the quickest way to admit to all my friends that I have ADHD
Torn between excitement to see 50+ of my works all organized around my apartment and the usual existential terror of “what if nobody comes?”
30 of my closest friends are coming over this evening to look at my art and none of it is hung 🫨 I could so easily freak out right now
January 18, 2026 at 4:04 PM
Torn between excitement to see 50+ of my works all organized around my apartment and the usual existential terror of “what if nobody comes?”
If you don’t start plotting out your art show with a post it on your wall that says “trauma,” did you really have an art show? 🤔
January 18, 2026 at 3:32 PM
If you don’t start plotting out your art show with a post it on your wall that says “trauma,” did you really have an art show? 🤔
One time I went on a date with a med student and he told me that a lot of medical knowledge we have came from the Holocaust and I can just imagine the conversation when he got home:
“How was the date?”
“she mentioned she was Jewish and I brought up the Holocaust medical experiments…”
“AGAIN??”
“How was the date?”
“she mentioned she was Jewish and I brought up the Holocaust medical experiments…”
“AGAIN??”
January 17, 2026 at 5:48 PM
One time I went on a date with a med student and he told me that a lot of medical knowledge we have came from the Holocaust and I can just imagine the conversation when he got home:
“How was the date?”
“she mentioned she was Jewish and I brought up the Holocaust medical experiments…”
“AGAIN??”
“How was the date?”
“she mentioned she was Jewish and I brought up the Holocaust medical experiments…”
“AGAIN??”
I block you if you tell me to ignore trolls btw. I only play with them if I have funny commentary and I don’t do it in a way that gets them direct engagement. So I don’t actually want to hear advice on how I should conduct myself online 👍
January 17, 2026 at 5:33 PM
I block you if you tell me to ignore trolls btw. I only play with them if I have funny commentary and I don’t do it in a way that gets them direct engagement. So I don’t actually want to hear advice on how I should conduct myself online 👍
Reposted by maimonides nutz
🎶 Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But let them go or
I’ll kill your baby 🎶
And this is crazy
But let them go or
I’ll kill your baby 🎶
January 17, 2026 at 4:28 PM
🎶 Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But let them go or
I’ll kill your baby 🎶
And this is crazy
But let them go or
I’ll kill your baby 🎶
Every dating profile I have written when I’ve been given a blank area to create has been eye-catching and entertaining, I kill it on those apps. But the ones where all you can do is answer prompts are completely flattening, even for me - Miss Maimonides Nutz, absolutely dripping with personality
January 17, 2026 at 3:01 PM
Every dating profile I have written when I’ve been given a blank area to create has been eye-catching and entertaining, I kill it on those apps. But the ones where all you can do is answer prompts are completely flattening, even for me - Miss Maimonides Nutz, absolutely dripping with personality
Calling himself a “human golden retriever” is the goyische man’s “njb”
January 17, 2026 at 4:35 AM
Calling himself a “human golden retriever” is the goyische man’s “njb”
Reposted by maimonides nutz
Saying this about a man who has famously received the single most hardcore burn I have observed one Jew receive from another in my lifetime.
January 16, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Saying this about a man who has famously received the single most hardcore burn I have observed one Jew receive from another in my lifetime.
Reposted by maimonides nutz
I sometimes even denounce myself
January 16, 2026 at 11:17 PM
I sometimes even denounce myself
What is “God’s Favorite Custom?” Wrong answers only
January 16, 2026 at 10:54 PM
What is “God’s Favorite Custom?” Wrong answers only
Reposted by maimonides nutz
The question is do I wear this t-shirt to MLK Shabbat or do I wear a handknit sweater because it will be *freezing* tonight
January 16, 2026 at 10:09 PM
The question is do I wear this t-shirt to MLK Shabbat or do I wear a handknit sweater because it will be *freezing* tonight
I don’t think this guy knows many Jews because the way I find my fellow Jews in a crowded place is by yelling out “Stephen Miller” and seeing who boo’s the loudest
January 16, 2026 at 10:46 PM
I don’t think this guy knows many Jews because the way I find my fellow Jews in a crowded place is by yelling out “Stephen Miller” and seeing who boo’s the loudest
currently writing my explanations of my COVID/Lockdown themed works and OH MAN what a time in all our lives
January 16, 2026 at 6:31 PM
currently writing my explanations of my COVID/Lockdown themed works and OH MAN what a time in all our lives
Reposted by maimonides nutz
Justice, justice you shall pursue
January 9, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Justice, justice you shall pursue
Reposted by maimonides nutz
I always change the lyrics so it's about Lttlefoots mother.
Whoa here she comes, watch out boy she's 16 tons.
Whoa here she comes, she's a plant eater.
Whoa here she comes, watch out boy she's 16 tons.
Whoa here she comes, she's a plant eater.
January 16, 2026 at 5:47 PM
I always change the lyrics so it's about Lttlefoots mother.
Whoa here she comes, watch out boy she's 16 tons.
Whoa here she comes, she's a plant eater.
Whoa here she comes, watch out boy she's 16 tons.
Whoa here she comes, she's a plant eater.
Reposted by maimonides nutz
Ladies, find you a man displeasing to G-d
January 16, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Ladies, find you a man displeasing to G-d
As a woman, I think I’m supposed to listen to the song Maneater by Daryl Hall and John Oates and say “y’know this is a little sexist…” not “damn…. goals”
January 16, 2026 at 5:41 PM
As a woman, I think I’m supposed to listen to the song Maneater by Daryl Hall and John Oates and say “y’know this is a little sexist…” not “damn…. goals”
My two best guy friends really do function as the “angel and devil on my shoulder” trope, because one of them will talk me through each situation and help me see it differently and the other one just says “show him your boobs”
January 16, 2026 at 2:11 PM
My two best guy friends really do function as the “angel and devil on my shoulder” trope, because one of them will talk me through each situation and help me see it differently and the other one just says “show him your boobs”