maimonides nutz
@maimonidesnutz.bsky.social
Maimonides, as in the 12th Century Jewish philosopher - and Nutz as in “Deez Nutz.” (I’m not Maimonides but I’m definitely Nutz)
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Hello new visitors! If you’re thinking of following, please note that while I occasionally take a principled stance, I mostly just shitpost about the Talmud
Reposted by maimonides nutz
Claes van Heussen, Fruit and Vegetable Seller, 1630, Oil on canvas, 157 x 200 cm (Private collection)
November 24, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Claes van Heussen, Fruit and Vegetable Seller, 1630, Oil on canvas, 157 x 200 cm (Private collection)
Having evangelical friends:
November 25, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Having evangelical friends:
It’s wild to me that one time a guy saw me go into my building, buzzed all the apartments until someone let him in, followed me up the stairs, and didn’t back down until my then-partner came out, and that’s kind of just…something that happened? I don’t even think about it that much…
November 24, 2025 at 6:11 PM
It’s wild to me that one time a guy saw me go into my building, buzzed all the apartments until someone let him in, followed me up the stairs, and didn’t back down until my then-partner came out, and that’s kind of just…something that happened? I don’t even think about it that much…
I want to send out a holiday card that’s just this:
November 24, 2025 at 5:05 PM
I want to send out a holiday card that’s just this:
Showed my Labublical drawings to my mom today (she somehow knew what they were??) and she said “you’re a very weird person (complimentary)”
November 24, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Showed my Labublical drawings to my mom today (she somehow knew what they were??) and she said “you’re a very weird person (complimentary)”
Exactly
November 24, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Exactly
Reposted by maimonides nutz
New biblical drinking game—read the Hebrew Bible and take a shot every time someone really needs therapy.
November 24, 2025 at 12:17 AM
New biblical drinking game—read the Hebrew Bible and take a shot every time someone really needs therapy.
Amazing how quickly “my best friend from college became evangelical” went from “he’s back in my life and he wants to talk about God” to “he blocked me (possibly) and gave my number to his church” 😕
November 23, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Amazing how quickly “my best friend from college became evangelical” went from “he’s back in my life and he wants to talk about God” to “he blocked me (possibly) and gave my number to his church” 😕
There is only one legitimate Hanukkah sweater
November 23, 2025 at 6:37 PM
There is only one legitimate Hanukkah sweater
i love finding stickers that speak to my soul (from Diva Nigun)
(link in next skeet)
(link in next skeet)
November 23, 2025 at 6:21 PM
i love finding stickers that speak to my soul (from Diva Nigun)
(link in next skeet)
(link in next skeet)
I live tweeted a mental breakdown and everyone was like "hey this girl is really funny," and somehow because of that now I'm considering a path in spiritual leadership?
November 23, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I live tweeted a mental breakdown and everyone was like "hey this girl is really funny," and somehow because of that now I'm considering a path in spiritual leadership?
Friendly reminder not to ruin Thanksgiving dinner by bringing up politics…ruin Thanksgiving dinner by asking about the halacha of a chick standing with one leg within 50 cubits from the dovecote and one leg beyond 50 cubits.
November 23, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Friendly reminder not to ruin Thanksgiving dinner by bringing up politics…ruin Thanksgiving dinner by asking about the halacha of a chick standing with one leg within 50 cubits from the dovecote and one leg beyond 50 cubits.
Wait I think I got the portions mixed up 😬
Sorry everyone
Sorry everyone
November 23, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Wait I think I got the portions mixed up 😬
Sorry everyone
Sorry everyone
Reposted by maimonides nutz
“Your dating pool would be much better in Boston” is a cross-species issue I see
The beautiful bird has settled at the Battery in downtown New York following a lengthy stay in the quiet gardens of Roosevelt Island and a brief, chaotic stint in Midtown Manhattan. She's the only wild turkey in Manhattan.
https://cnn.it/3X9C7ct
https://cnn.it/3X9C7ct
November 23, 2025 at 2:43 PM
“Your dating pool would be much better in Boston” is a cross-species issue I see
Hips Don’t Lie is a great song, but I don’t get what Shakira finds so irresistible about what Wyclef Jean says to her in Spanish. If a guy I never met came up to me and said “what’s your name beautiful? my house or yours?” I would slap him….
November 23, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Hips Don’t Lie is a great song, but I don’t get what Shakira finds so irresistible about what Wyclef Jean says to her in Spanish. If a guy I never met came up to me and said “what’s your name beautiful? my house or yours?” I would slap him….
Reposted by maimonides nutz
tired: “do Jewish people celebrate Thanksgiving?”
Wired: “do Jewish people celebrate Easter?” (I have actually been asked this)
Inspired: “Do Jewish people celebrate Shemini Atzeret?”
Wired: “do Jewish people celebrate Easter?” (I have actually been asked this)
Inspired: “Do Jewish people celebrate Shemini Atzeret?”
November 23, 2025 at 5:10 AM
tired: “do Jewish people celebrate Thanksgiving?”
Wired: “do Jewish people celebrate Easter?” (I have actually been asked this)
Inspired: “Do Jewish people celebrate Shemini Atzeret?”
Wired: “do Jewish people celebrate Easter?” (I have actually been asked this)
Inspired: “Do Jewish people celebrate Shemini Atzeret?”
Making this my background in case I ever feel the urge to redownload the apps
I was just going through old messages on my computer and omg this is an amazing progression.
November 23, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Making this my background in case I ever feel the urge to redownload the apps
I was just going through old messages on my computer and omg this is an amazing progression.
November 23, 2025 at 1:42 AM
I was just going through old messages on my computer and omg this is an amazing progression.
the lack of prohibitions against Divine portrayal really open some interesting gateways to faith
my toxic trait is that I, Maimonides Nutz, Jewish artist extraordinaire, love Christian art so much I studied it in college
November 22, 2025 at 10:18 PM
the lack of prohibitions against Divine portrayal really open some interesting gateways to faith
I love how Maimonides was like "here are my Thirteen Principles of Faith" and then each one is like....two or three principles in a trench coat
November 22, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I love how Maimonides was like "here are my Thirteen Principles of Faith" and then each one is like....two or three principles in a trench coat
my toxic trait is that I, Maimonides Nutz, Jewish artist extraordinaire, love Christian art so much I studied it in college
November 22, 2025 at 10:07 PM
my toxic trait is that I, Maimonides Nutz, Jewish artist extraordinaire, love Christian art so much I studied it in college
I think people get confused with Handel's "Hallelujah." They see the same word and think "good enough"
November 22, 2025 at 9:53 PM
I think people get confused with Handel's "Hallelujah." They see the same word and think "good enough"
“Those who despoiled you shall become a spoil, and all who
would devour you shall be far away. Your God will rejoice over
you as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride.”
Lecha Dodi (2021)
would devour you shall be far away. Your God will rejoice over
you as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride.”
Lecha Dodi (2021)
November 22, 2025 at 9:10 PM
“Those who despoiled you shall become a spoil, and all who
would devour you shall be far away. Your God will rejoice over
you as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride.”
Lecha Dodi (2021)
would devour you shall be far away. Your God will rejoice over
you as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride.”
Lecha Dodi (2021)
The pro of writing your essay on paper first is that your ideas can expand more
The con is that then you have to look at what you've written in order to get it into the computer 😳
The con is that then you have to look at what you've written in order to get it into the computer 😳
November 22, 2025 at 7:07 PM
The pro of writing your essay on paper first is that your ideas can expand more
The con is that then you have to look at what you've written in order to get it into the computer 😳
The con is that then you have to look at what you've written in order to get it into the computer 😳