Xzigalia
@xzigalia.bsky.social
WWJS
(Who Would Jesus Shoot?)
(Who Would Jesus Shoot?)
January 25, 2026 at 11:51 PM
WWJS
(Who Would Jesus Shoot?)
(Who Would Jesus Shoot?)
Jumbling I'm day every
every day I'm crumbling
every day I'm grumbling
January 22, 2026 at 2:05 PM
Jumbling I'm day every
Sesame Street is gonna introduce a new Muppet who had a parent dragged away by ICE.
January 22, 2026 at 1:07 PM
Sesame Street is gonna introduce a new Muppet who had a parent dragged away by ICE.
I don't know why you were disappointed by my folder of midget porn. Of course it was a bunch of photos of the tops of people's heads. Midgets are fucken short.
January 22, 2026 at 1:04 PM
I don't know why you were disappointed by my folder of midget porn. Of course it was a bunch of photos of the tops of people's heads. Midgets are fucken short.
Make it clear to him that the Male Loneliness Epidemic is just women saying "No deal" to this and dating each other instead.
January 22, 2026 at 9:59 AM
Make it clear to him that the Male Loneliness Epidemic is just women saying "No deal" to this and dating each other instead.
The Okinawan blueberry hermit crab looks like it just told Bruce Willis that it sees dead people.
January 17, 2026 at 7:34 PM
The Okinawan blueberry hermit crab looks like it just told Bruce Willis that it sees dead people.
This is just like the time I time I sent my friend a photo of that hilarious Helen Keller Denier Club bumper sticker and then found out it wasn't a joke.
people:
The White House: WE ARE ENDING THE WAR ON PROTEIN
everybody: what the fuck are they talking about now
The White House: WE ARE ENDING THE WAR ON PROTEIN
everybody: what the fuck are they talking about now
January 12, 2026 at 11:07 AM
This is just like the time I time I sent my friend a photo of that hilarious Helen Keller Denier Club bumper sticker and then found out it wasn't a joke.
It's called "buttercream", but you have to keep applying it every hour.
They should invent a cream for the oppressive ache in my soul
January 10, 2026 at 12:29 PM
It's called "buttercream", but you have to keep applying it every hour.
When they made me, they broke the mould. And then they jumped up and down on the pieces of the mould, just to make sure.
January 10, 2026 at 12:27 PM
When they made me, they broke the mould. And then they jumped up and down on the pieces of the mould, just to make sure.
We captured two feral kittens three weeks ago but did not manage to trap their mother until this afternoon. We were concerned that once reunited they would recommence nursing and revert from their weaning. Our fears were unfounded.
January 9, 2026 at 12:30 PM
We captured two feral kittens three weeks ago but did not manage to trap their mother until this afternoon. We were concerned that once reunited they would recommence nursing and revert from their weaning. Our fears were unfounded.
I just found this in my folder from the week of December 19. Of course, the files weren't all released on the 19th. A million more were found just last week.
January 3, 2026 at 3:07 PM
I just found this in my folder from the week of December 19. Of course, the files weren't all released on the 19th. A million more were found just last week.
News in the 21st century is wild.
and now I have learned about it from this post
January 3, 2026 at 12:35 PM
News in the 21st century is wild.
Orange Republic? They've released a new flavour since Banana?
January 3, 2026 at 10:42 AM
Orange Republic? They've released a new flavour since Banana?
Fucken hate paisley pattern. Nasty bloated jelly cell flagellum ass looking print. If I wanted upper class sperm marks on my clothing I'd seduce the King, and go PROPER traditional.
January 2, 2026 at 7:50 AM
Fucken hate paisley pattern. Nasty bloated jelly cell flagellum ass looking print. If I wanted upper class sperm marks on my clothing I'd seduce the King, and go PROPER traditional.
Start your New Year off:
❌ Good, to begin on a strong note
❌ Bad, so it's all up from there
✅ Tacky and gay, can't stop won't stop
❌ Good, to begin on a strong note
❌ Bad, so it's all up from there
✅ Tacky and gay, can't stop won't stop
January 1, 2026 at 6:50 AM
Start your New Year off:
❌ Good, to begin on a strong note
❌ Bad, so it's all up from there
✅ Tacky and gay, can't stop won't stop
❌ Good, to begin on a strong note
❌ Bad, so it's all up from there
✅ Tacky and gay, can't stop won't stop
NASCAR race but everyone has to keep to the speed limit.
December 30, 2025 at 11:35 PM
NASCAR race but everyone has to keep to the speed limit.
Shout out to my dad's new green bathroom lightshade for making me think I was dying of jaundice.
December 29, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Shout out to my dad's new green bathroom lightshade for making me think I was dying of jaundice.
Merry Christmas from the most unhinged wreath anybody has ever beheld.
December 25, 2025 at 5:38 AM
Merry Christmas from the most unhinged wreath anybody has ever beheld.
Who has two thumbs and two rescued feral kittens, and the kittens are biting and scratching those thumbs? This guy! [double blood splatter]
December 22, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Who has two thumbs and two rescued feral kittens, and the kittens are biting and scratching those thumbs? This guy! [double blood splatter]
"Oh, you have an ugly Christmas jumper? No, no, it's cute, I suppose I just go for something a little more... artisan."
[hot-gluing tinsel to a sock]
[hot-gluing tinsel to a sock]
December 20, 2025 at 12:05 PM
"Oh, you have an ugly Christmas jumper? No, no, it's cute, I suppose I just go for something a little more... artisan."
[hot-gluing tinsel to a sock]
[hot-gluing tinsel to a sock]
"Misplaced self-assurance is anathaema to all."
(Oh, that's good, I should write that one down.)
(Oh, that's good, I should write that one down.)
December 18, 2025 at 12:07 PM
"Misplaced self-assurance is anathaema to all."
(Oh, that's good, I should write that one down.)
(Oh, that's good, I should write that one down.)
Guy told me that I should be in the kitchen making him a sandwich.
I told him he should be in the kitchen putting me up some shelves.
The difference between when misogynists pull out old-timey gender roles and when I do it is that I know how to make a sandwich.
I told him he should be in the kitchen putting me up some shelves.
The difference between when misogynists pull out old-timey gender roles and when I do it is that I know how to make a sandwich.
December 15, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Guy told me that I should be in the kitchen making him a sandwich.
I told him he should be in the kitchen putting me up some shelves.
The difference between when misogynists pull out old-timey gender roles and when I do it is that I know how to make a sandwich.
I told him he should be in the kitchen putting me up some shelves.
The difference between when misogynists pull out old-timey gender roles and when I do it is that I know how to make a sandwich.
Duc' tape.
Heal the rift.
Heal the rift.
December 3, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Duc' tape.
Heal the rift.
Heal the rift.
Doctor: So why are you here today?
Me: My IBS is chronic and my buttocks polyphonic.
Doctor: Firstly, please stop showing up here without an appointment. Secondly, this is Opthalmology.
Me: I couldn't read the sign.
Doctor: FINE we can at least get you help with THAT, take a seat.
Me: I can't.
Me: My IBS is chronic and my buttocks polyphonic.
Doctor: Firstly, please stop showing up here without an appointment. Secondly, this is Opthalmology.
Me: I couldn't read the sign.
Doctor: FINE we can at least get you help with THAT, take a seat.
Me: I can't.
November 25, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Doctor: So why are you here today?
Me: My IBS is chronic and my buttocks polyphonic.
Doctor: Firstly, please stop showing up here without an appointment. Secondly, this is Opthalmology.
Me: I couldn't read the sign.
Doctor: FINE we can at least get you help with THAT, take a seat.
Me: I can't.
Me: My IBS is chronic and my buttocks polyphonic.
Doctor: Firstly, please stop showing up here without an appointment. Secondly, this is Opthalmology.
Me: I couldn't read the sign.
Doctor: FINE we can at least get you help with THAT, take a seat.
Me: I can't.
"He isn't a paedophile, he's an ephebophile!"
Sorry, boo... All Kids Matter
Sorry, boo... All Kids Matter
November 18, 2025 at 2:22 PM
"He isn't a paedophile, he's an ephebophile!"
Sorry, boo... All Kids Matter
Sorry, boo... All Kids Matter