michael lutz
@ztul.bsky.social
"warrenisdead". he/him. boston-ish. phd thinking about media and making podcasts for @rangedtouch.bsky.social. writer and narrative designer. Project C for @halfmermaid.co inquiries: j.michael.lutz at gmail
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michael lutz
@ztul.bsky.social
· Oct 17
whether my followers got here from the Dumb Horseshit starter pack, the Annoying Assholes starter pack, the Waste of Time starter pack, the Dogturd Face starter pack, the No Cussing (Non-Christian) starter pack, or the Following Mainly To See When He Dies starter pack, i hope you have a good time!!!
Reposted by michael lutz
A young Quentin Tarantino on the set of Pulp Fiction. Happy birthday Mr. Tarantino!
April 2, 2024 at 5:45 PM
A young Quentin Tarantino on the set of Pulp Fiction. Happy birthday Mr. Tarantino!
Reposted by michael lutz
Tubi is such a crazy streaming service. It’s like if the Criterion Closet was in a gas station
December 9, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Tubi is such a crazy streaming service. It’s like if the Criterion Closet was in a gas station
Reposted by michael lutz
A-BEE-BEE-BEEP BOO-BOO
FARMHOUSE MYSTERY QUIZ TIME
Do YOU remember what happened next?
A. Foreman Ridgeway learned to listen to others.
B. Everyone yelled "Surprise!"
C. Football Casey fired the flamethrower.
D. Only Crackback Carl yelled "Surprise!"
FARMHOUSE MYSTERY QUIZ TIME
Do YOU remember what happened next?
A. Foreman Ridgeway learned to listen to others.
B. Everyone yelled "Surprise!"
C. Football Casey fired the flamethrower.
D. Only Crackback Carl yelled "Surprise!"
"You Farmhouse Mystery Kids are as superstitious as my crew!" bellowed Foreman Ridgeway. "This mine was sealed for sixty years, so even if Crackback Carl WAS real, he would've starved a long time ago!"
"There are many wiggling delicacies in the dark earth," whispered a dry, echoing voice overhead.
"There are many wiggling delicacies in the dark earth," whispered a dry, echoing voice overhead.
May 12, 2025 at 9:42 PM
A-BEE-BEE-BEEP BOO-BOO
FARMHOUSE MYSTERY QUIZ TIME
Do YOU remember what happened next?
A. Foreman Ridgeway learned to listen to others.
B. Everyone yelled "Surprise!"
C. Football Casey fired the flamethrower.
D. Only Crackback Carl yelled "Surprise!"
FARMHOUSE MYSTERY QUIZ TIME
Do YOU remember what happened next?
A. Foreman Ridgeway learned to listen to others.
B. Everyone yelled "Surprise!"
C. Football Casey fired the flamethrower.
D. Only Crackback Carl yelled "Surprise!"
Reposted by michael lutz
TINA: Then I'll grind down the mezzanine from the food court and spring our totally gnarly trap!
TEDDY: Careful! There's a lot of blood on that railing.
FOOTBALL CASEY: Let's hustle, Farmhouse Mystery Kids! Before Double-Edge Dan finds us and cuts our weekend at the mall short!
LITTLE LOTTIE: AAAAA
TEDDY: Careful! There's a lot of blood on that railing.
FOOTBALL CASEY: Let's hustle, Farmhouse Mystery Kids! Before Double-Edge Dan finds us and cuts our weekend at the mall short!
LITTLE LOTTIE: AAAAA
January 23, 2025 at 1:38 AM
TINA: Then I'll grind down the mezzanine from the food court and spring our totally gnarly trap!
TEDDY: Careful! There's a lot of blood on that railing.
FOOTBALL CASEY: Let's hustle, Farmhouse Mystery Kids! Before Double-Edge Dan finds us and cuts our weekend at the mall short!
LITTLE LOTTIE: AAAAA
TEDDY: Careful! There's a lot of blood on that railing.
FOOTBALL CASEY: Let's hustle, Farmhouse Mystery Kids! Before Double-Edge Dan finds us and cuts our weekend at the mall short!
LITTLE LOTTIE: AAAAA
Reposted by michael lutz
FOOTBALL CASEY: I thought you'd be happy that your twin sister is finally coming to live at the Farmhouse with the rest of us!
TEDDY: I know, Football Casey! But Tina's not how I remember her. Skateboards were more her thing, not boarding school!
HEADMISTRESS BATHORY, watching on her monitor: Fools.
TEDDY: I know, Football Casey! But Tina's not how I remember her. Skateboards were more her thing, not boarding school!
HEADMISTRESS BATHORY, watching on her monitor: Fools.
December 24, 2024 at 1:40 AM
FOOTBALL CASEY: I thought you'd be happy that your twin sister is finally coming to live at the Farmhouse with the rest of us!
TEDDY: I know, Football Casey! But Tina's not how I remember her. Skateboards were more her thing, not boarding school!
HEADMISTRESS BATHORY, watching on her monitor: Fools.
TEDDY: I know, Football Casey! But Tina's not how I remember her. Skateboards were more her thing, not boarding school!
HEADMISTRESS BATHORY, watching on her monitor: Fools.
Reposted by michael lutz
GIZMO: B-b-but! This can't be! I would never betray the other Farmhouse Mystery Kids, as I did in this future you claim to hail from!
IRRATIO, THE MALEVOLANT NUMBER: Not only did you betray them, you smiled as you did it! As you yet will once I finish—
FOOTBALL CASEY: Not so fast!
JOLLY ROGER: Yarr!
IRRATIO, THE MALEVOLANT NUMBER: Not only did you betray them, you smiled as you did it! As you yet will once I finish—
FOOTBALL CASEY: Not so fast!
JOLLY ROGER: Yarr!
December 11, 2024 at 2:07 AM
GIZMO: B-b-but! This can't be! I would never betray the other Farmhouse Mystery Kids, as I did in this future you claim to hail from!
IRRATIO, THE MALEVOLANT NUMBER: Not only did you betray them, you smiled as you did it! As you yet will once I finish—
FOOTBALL CASEY: Not so fast!
JOLLY ROGER: Yarr!
IRRATIO, THE MALEVOLANT NUMBER: Not only did you betray them, you smiled as you did it! As you yet will once I finish—
FOOTBALL CASEY: Not so fast!
JOLLY ROGER: Yarr!
After I am elected I will be sworn in on a hologram of ideology
December 9, 2025 at 10:05 PM
After I am elected I will be sworn in on a hologram of ideology
Reposted by michael lutz
When cartoon characters discuss numbers in base ten rather than base eight, it takes me completely out of my suspension of disbelief. Their society would not have developed that way.
December 9, 2025 at 9:21 PM
When cartoon characters discuss numbers in base ten rather than base eight, it takes me completely out of my suspension of disbelief. Their society would not have developed that way.
Reposted by michael lutz
I like seeing Fortune Feimster show up in things, and it doesn't hurt that she's also my favorite Star Wars character
December 9, 2025 at 6:19 PM
I like seeing Fortune Feimster show up in things, and it doesn't hurt that she's also my favorite Star Wars character
These are things that make me angry too!!!!!! i can't believe squenix would do this 😭😭😭
Major shareholder denounces Square Enix for 'sluggish' revenue and profit margins
Major shareholder denounces Square Enix for 'sluggish' revenue and profit margins
In a 112-page presentation, firm 3D Investment Partners criticizes Square Enix's 'management issues.'
www.gamedeveloper.com
December 9, 2025 at 5:35 PM
These are things that make me angry too!!!!!! i can't believe squenix would do this 😭😭😭
Reposted by michael lutz
As I was just saying.
They will scale up random “schools” based on market speculation and then close them down when demand wanes. Thats the plan.
They will scale up random “schools” based on market speculation and then close them down when demand wanes. Thats the plan.
Yes we all agree that this is the reason colleges are in trouble
December 9, 2025 at 4:47 PM
As I was just saying.
They will scale up random “schools” based on market speculation and then close them down when demand wanes. Thats the plan.
They will scale up random “schools” based on market speculation and then close them down when demand wanes. Thats the plan.
Reposted by michael lutz
Out now: WHALE ROADS
The chronicle of a year-long, 30+ player West Marches campaign of Wolves Upon the Coast by @lukegearing.bsky.social
A 250-page "zine" filled with play summaries, original art, and Referee commentary.
Available now, and it's 100% completely free.
sulcata.itch.io/whale-roads
The chronicle of a year-long, 30+ player West Marches campaign of Wolves Upon the Coast by @lukegearing.bsky.social
A 250-page "zine" filled with play summaries, original art, and Referee commentary.
Available now, and it's 100% completely free.
sulcata.itch.io/whale-roads
WHALE ROADS by sulcata | Brendan McLeod
A megazine about Wolves Upon the Coast
sulcata.itch.io
December 9, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Out now: WHALE ROADS
The chronicle of a year-long, 30+ player West Marches campaign of Wolves Upon the Coast by @lukegearing.bsky.social
A 250-page "zine" filled with play summaries, original art, and Referee commentary.
Available now, and it's 100% completely free.
sulcata.itch.io/whale-roads
The chronicle of a year-long, 30+ player West Marches campaign of Wolves Upon the Coast by @lukegearing.bsky.social
A 250-page "zine" filled with play summaries, original art, and Referee commentary.
Available now, and it's 100% completely free.
sulcata.itch.io/whale-roads
Reposted by michael lutz
It is weird it doesn’t happen more often when you think of it as “the time my funny grandpa had an adventure”. Kids love having a funny grandpa.
December 9, 2025 at 3:33 PM
It is weird it doesn’t happen more often when you think of it as “the time my funny grandpa had an adventure”. Kids love having a funny grandpa.
i'll settle for pointing out that by far the most prolific sort of reply is people offering short, fat, lazy old man protagonists from other things, ignoring that the precise joke here is that Bilbo is the protagonist of a ***children's novel***
December 9, 2025 at 3:31 PM
i'll settle for pointing out that by far the most prolific sort of reply is people offering short, fat, lazy old man protagonists from other things, ignoring that the precise joke here is that Bilbo is the protagonist of a ***children's novel***
that hobbit joke from the RT account blowing up has invited a huge number of replies and i have a very strong temptation to diagram the post and show how different genres of reply are borne from different ways of misreading the joke
December 9, 2025 at 3:25 PM
that hobbit joke from the RT account blowing up has invited a huge number of replies and i have a very strong temptation to diagram the post and show how different genres of reply are borne from different ways of misreading the joke
Delicious but unfulfilling, and at $5 for a box of 4, totally cost ineffective—truly there is no breakfast-time treat more treacherous than the Pillsbury Toaster Scramble
December 9, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Delicious but unfulfilling, and at $5 for a box of 4, totally cost ineffective—truly there is no breakfast-time treat more treacherous than the Pillsbury Toaster Scramble
I like this movie! If I support us on patreon you can hear me talk about how every room in every scene is basically designed to wig you out
Over on the Ranged Touch Patreon, for this month's Bonus Episode we finally buckled down and watched Stanley Kubrick's iconic 1980 adaptation of THE SHINING, which draws many people in with its irresistible allure, only to trap them forever: www.patreon.com/posts/145359...
December 9, 2025 at 2:51 AM
I like this movie! If I support us on patreon you can hear me talk about how every room in every scene is basically designed to wig you out
Reposted by michael lutz
Everyone imitates Tolkien all the time except when it comes to the one way it would really matter: making the protagonist of your novel for children a short, fat, 50-year-old man who doesn't want to do anything.
December 9, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Everyone imitates Tolkien all the time except when it comes to the one way it would really matter: making the protagonist of your novel for children a short, fat, 50-year-old man who doesn't want to do anything.
Reposted by michael lutz
Maybe the greatest murder mystery ever written about handjobs and MILFs (these are both genuinely load-bearing plot points)
Murder! Being a teenager in the 1970s! A haunted amusement park! An attractive older woman who is a crack shot with a rifle! And a VERY special edition of Uncle Stevie's Mixtape, as this month JUST KING THINGS tackles the breezy, readable fun of 2013's JOYLAND: rangedtouch.com/2025/12/08/j...
December 8, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Maybe the greatest murder mystery ever written about handjobs and MILFs (these are both genuinely load-bearing plot points)
Reposted by michael lutz
We've heard your feedback on our discussion of which Pokémon have command of human language, and we'd just like to state clearly for the record: Meowth is not a Pokémon, he's a cat!
December 8, 2025 at 10:40 PM
We've heard your feedback on our discussion of which Pokémon have command of human language, and we'd just like to state clearly for the record: Meowth is not a Pokémon, he's a cat!
I enjoyed Stephen King's novel about a depressed young man solving the mystery of a haunted amusement park and meeting a gun-toting MILF who smokes weed
Murder! Being a teenager in the 1970s! A haunted amusement park! An attractive older woman who is a crack shot with a rifle! And a VERY special edition of Uncle Stevie's Mixtape, as this month JUST KING THINGS tackles the breezy, readable fun of 2013's JOYLAND: rangedtouch.com/2025/12/08/j...
December 8, 2025 at 7:44 PM
I enjoyed Stephen King's novel about a depressed young man solving the mystery of a haunted amusement park and meeting a gun-toting MILF who smokes weed