Abe Goldfarb
@abegoldfarb.bsky.social
Dirtbag artist and humorless leftist scold. Pronouns: he/him/your lusciousness.
Watch my movie, FIRST TIME CALLER!! https://www.amazon.com/First-Time-Caller-Abe-Goldfarb/dp/B0CJ5P5QKR
Watch my movie, FIRST TIME CALLER!! https://www.amazon.com/First-Time-Caller-Abe-Goldfarb/dp/B0CJ5P5QKR
they just hate to see glip glop winning, smdh
January 24, 2026 at 10:49 PM
they just hate to see glip glop winning, smdh
PURANA MANDIR: Eye-popping mid-80s Hindi horror, a film that bounces from romance to sexy dancing to slapstick to jump scares with absolute abandon for 2.5 hours. At one point the movie leaps off into a lengthy comedy B-plot that is essentially Bollywood Friedberg and Seltzer. Inexplicable. Sublime.
January 23, 2026 at 3:54 PM
PURANA MANDIR: Eye-popping mid-80s Hindi horror, a film that bounces from romance to sexy dancing to slapstick to jump scares with absolute abandon for 2.5 hours. At one point the movie leaps off into a lengthy comedy B-plot that is essentially Bollywood Friedberg and Seltzer. Inexplicable. Sublime.
This is such a good time to put out a 4K of the Golan-Globus MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, which gave us cinema’s greatest gift: Langell-etor.
January 22, 2026 at 11:12 PM
This is such a good time to put out a 4K of the Golan-Globus MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, which gave us cinema’s greatest gift: Langell-etor.
FORGETTING SOMEONE?
January 22, 2026 at 11:09 PM
FORGETTING SOMEONE?
guys i’m not trying to cause mayhem here
but
there’s a restaurant in my neighborhood that serves a soft drink with mini dumplings on top
but
there’s a restaurant in my neighborhood that serves a soft drink with mini dumplings on top
January 15, 2026 at 2:25 AM
guys i’m not trying to cause mayhem here
but
there’s a restaurant in my neighborhood that serves a soft drink with mini dumplings on top
but
there’s a restaurant in my neighborhood that serves a soft drink with mini dumplings on top
holy fuck it’s real
January 11, 2026 at 3:24 AM
holy fuck it’s real
the seven words every woman wants to hear
January 11, 2026 at 3:07 AM
the seven words every woman wants to hear
The 4K of SPAWN is some kind of dumbass miracle. The worst CGI you’ve ever seen and luscious old-school Guillermo Navarro cinematography, smashed together at eye-watering resolution looking like a print still wet from the lab.
Technogoth nerd shit. THE CROW for incels. I cherish it.
Technogoth nerd shit. THE CROW for incels. I cherish it.
January 9, 2026 at 4:15 AM
The 4K of SPAWN is some kind of dumbass miracle. The worst CGI you’ve ever seen and luscious old-school Guillermo Navarro cinematography, smashed together at eye-watering resolution looking like a print still wet from the lab.
Technogoth nerd shit. THE CROW for incels. I cherish it.
Technogoth nerd shit. THE CROW for incels. I cherish it.
Elon playing 4D chess here, distracting from his work as a child pornographer by pivoting back to mask-off white supremacy.
January 8, 2026 at 7:46 PM
Elon playing 4D chess here, distracting from his work as a child pornographer by pivoting back to mask-off white supremacy.
THE CROW - CITY OF ANGELS: Probably one of the most beautifully made bad movies I’ve ever seen. So beautiful in fact that I don’t know if I can even call it bad. A swirling, tactile, feverishly immersive vision. I’ll always wonder what it played like before the Weinsteins recut it.
January 8, 2026 at 6:30 AM
THE CROW - CITY OF ANGELS: Probably one of the most beautifully made bad movies I’ve ever seen. So beautiful in fact that I don’t know if I can even call it bad. A swirling, tactile, feverishly immersive vision. I’ll always wonder what it played like before the Weinsteins recut it.
They’re fucking lying.
I’m not linking to the video because I don’t want you to see it if you’re not trying to see it. You can find it if you want it. It’s out there.
But they’re murdering people in cold blood, and they’re fucking lying.
I’m not linking to the video because I don’t want you to see it if you’re not trying to see it. You can find it if you want it. It’s out there.
But they’re murdering people in cold blood, and they’re fucking lying.
January 7, 2026 at 6:13 PM
They’re fucking lying.
I’m not linking to the video because I don’t want you to see it if you’re not trying to see it. You can find it if you want it. It’s out there.
But they’re murdering people in cold blood, and they’re fucking lying.
I’m not linking to the video because I don’t want you to see it if you’re not trying to see it. You can find it if you want it. It’s out there.
But they’re murdering people in cold blood, and they’re fucking lying.
Ah man….Ahn Sung-ki died. One of my favorite screen actors, charismatic and versatile and just made for the camera. I first saw him in ARAHAN and NOWHERE TO HIDE and immediately I was like “who the fuck is *this* guy?”
A legend. And an incalculable loss.
A legend. And an incalculable loss.
January 7, 2026 at 5:01 AM
Ah man….Ahn Sung-ki died. One of my favorite screen actors, charismatic and versatile and just made for the camera. I first saw him in ARAHAN and NOWHERE TO HIDE and immediately I was like “who the fuck is *this* guy?”
A legend. And an incalculable loss.
A legend. And an incalculable loss.
FIRST TIME CALLER, available on Prime and Tubi now! Your mom will love it.
January 6, 2026 at 10:13 PM
FIRST TIME CALLER, available on Prime and Tubi now! Your mom will love it.
Up late rewatching FATHER TED and man…Graham Linehan really used to be an amazing comedy writer before he decided that he’d rather hate trans people than be funny and cool.
January 4, 2026 at 8:14 AM
Up late rewatching FATHER TED and man…Graham Linehan really used to be an amazing comedy writer before he decided that he’d rather hate trans people than be funny and cool.
I mean it’s bewildering to discover that a guy I voiced with a single line has become such a touchstone for so many, but it’s also really beautiful. I’m moved and grateful!! And I hope I get to voice him again.
January 3, 2026 at 12:29 AM
I mean it’s bewildering to discover that a guy I voiced with a single line has become such a touchstone for so many, but it’s also really beautiful. I’m moved and grateful!! And I hope I get to voice him again.
I have no idea how to answer this. Usually it’s the most recent one because it represents the fullest of my current abilities, informed by the lessons of my past fuckups.
So I suppose acting-wise it would be playing Emile Zola in Kai Maristed’s PAUL AND EMILE. I was proud of that.
So I suppose acting-wise it would be playing Emile Zola in Kai Maristed’s PAUL AND EMILE. I was proud of that.
January 3, 2026 at 12:19 AM
I have no idea how to answer this. Usually it’s the most recent one because it represents the fullest of my current abilities, informed by the lessons of my past fuckups.
So I suppose acting-wise it would be playing Emile Zola in Kai Maristed’s PAUL AND EMILE. I was proud of that.
So I suppose acting-wise it would be playing Emile Zola in Kai Maristed’s PAUL AND EMILE. I was proud of that.
It’s been very gig-heavy of late (wonderfully), but also I’m working on three screenplays. One of which addresses my desire to see more gayness in revenge movies.
January 3, 2026 at 12:14 AM
It’s been very gig-heavy of late (wonderfully), but also I’m working on three screenplays. One of which addresses my desire to see more gayness in revenge movies.
I’ve been reading BATTLEBORN by Claire Vaye Watkins. Incredible story collection. Very moving stuff. Highly recommend.
January 3, 2026 at 12:13 AM
I’ve been reading BATTLEBORN by Claire Vaye Watkins. Incredible story collection. Very moving stuff. Highly recommend.
Keep making my world larger. Keep making things. Find out what I’m wrong about and be excited by that.
January 3, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Keep making my world larger. Keep making things. Find out what I’m wrong about and be excited by that.
Honestly the best was when I found out he was the Masked Royal. The episodes where he’s frantically changing back and forth at his own match? The most fun ever.
January 3, 2026 at 12:04 AM
Honestly the best was when I found out he was the Masked Royal. The episodes where he’s frantically changing back and forth at his own match? The most fun ever.
happy new year, everyone
January 1, 2026 at 8:22 AM
happy new year, everyone
let’s ring it in, fuckers
January 1, 2026 at 12:25 AM
let’s ring it in, fuckers
see you tonight sluuuuuuuuuts
December 31, 2025 at 6:51 PM
see you tonight sluuuuuuuuuts