Abstrusery
@abstrusery.bsky.social
*Still* only built for Facebook.
F||ck Coldplay.
We don’t need forced kiss cams rooting for infidelity at concerts.
We don’t need forced kiss cams rooting for infidelity at concerts.
July 18, 2025 at 1:45 AM
F||ck Coldplay.
We don’t need forced kiss cams rooting for infidelity at concerts.
We don’t need forced kiss cams rooting for infidelity at concerts.
All I’m “doing for my health” are things I’m not-doing for my destruction.
May 26, 2025 at 2:03 PM
All I’m “doing for my health” are things I’m not-doing for my destruction.
I’m stuck wondering if elitism (projected or claimed) = access to paywalled news sources.
Might be the recipes. What am I going to do with the rest of these coriander seeds, NYT?
Might be the recipes. What am I going to do with the rest of these coriander seeds, NYT?
May 2, 2025 at 10:37 AM
I’m stuck wondering if elitism (projected or claimed) = access to paywalled news sources.
Might be the recipes. What am I going to do with the rest of these coriander seeds, NYT?
Might be the recipes. What am I going to do with the rest of these coriander seeds, NYT?
Shut up and hand me all your chocolate.
🦹♀️🍫🐣
🦹♀️🍫🐣
April 22, 2025 at 4:03 PM
Shut up and hand me all your chocolate.
🦹♀️🍫🐣
🦹♀️🍫🐣
Adam Scott is reintegrating with Tig Notaro and I’m here for it.
April 12, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Adam Scott is reintegrating with Tig Notaro and I’m here for it.
I wear tight T-shirts to eat donuts.
Follow me for more life hacks: #JabbaInTraining
Follow me for more life hacks: #JabbaInTraining
April 4, 2025 at 6:02 PM
I wear tight T-shirts to eat donuts.
Follow me for more life hacks: #JabbaInTraining
Follow me for more life hacks: #JabbaInTraining
I appear to be raising a white dude.
Too late to bow out gracefully. Or abort.
Too late to bow out gracefully. Or abort.
March 27, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I appear to be raising a white dude.
Too late to bow out gracefully. Or abort.
Too late to bow out gracefully. Or abort.
What do you do with thoughts you’re not allowed to have but that are objectively funny?
March 21, 2025 at 7:19 PM
What do you do with thoughts you’re not allowed to have but that are objectively funny?
Is “for better or for worse” a race to the bottom?
Asking for a housemate.
Asking for a housemate.
March 21, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Is “for better or for worse” a race to the bottom?
Asking for a housemate.
Asking for a housemate.
Reposted by Abstrusery
I’ve quit telling people that I disagree with them. Instead, I now say, “I’m gonna have to agree with myself on this one.” It’s self-positive, non-confrontational, and just weird enough to end the conversation.
January 31, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I’ve quit telling people that I disagree with them. Instead, I now say, “I’m gonna have to agree with myself on this one.” It’s self-positive, non-confrontational, and just weird enough to end the conversation.
I’m living with The Cat in the Hat Comes Back.
Figurative pink spots everywhere.
Figurative pink spots everywhere.
February 2, 2025 at 6:09 AM
I’m living with The Cat in the Hat Comes Back.
Figurative pink spots everywhere.
Figurative pink spots everywhere.
“Where do I post my colonoscopy prep complaints?”
- only acceptable reason to keep Twitter account
- only acceptable reason to keep Twitter account
January 28, 2025 at 5:32 PM
“Where do I post my colonoscopy prep complaints?”
- only acceptable reason to keep Twitter account
- only acceptable reason to keep Twitter account
I treasure my marriage. Which is why my “Why is my favorite showerhead disassembled and occupying the sink?!!” is going out to the universe without an intended target.
January 23, 2025 at 11:46 PM
I treasure my marriage. Which is why my “Why is my favorite showerhead disassembled and occupying the sink?!!” is going out to the universe without an intended target.
Only 2 reasons to make bed mid-day:
- Deter naps
- Keep crumbs on top of covers
- Deter naps
- Keep crumbs on top of covers
January 12, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Only 2 reasons to make bed mid-day:
- Deter naps
- Keep crumbs on top of covers
- Deter naps
- Keep crumbs on top of covers
Every time I clean, I’m faced with the sublimated stressor that triggered cleaning.
#Pigpen4eva
#Pigpen4eva
January 12, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Every time I clean, I’m faced with the sublimated stressor that triggered cleaning.
#Pigpen4eva
#Pigpen4eva
Reposted by Abstrusery
January 8, 2025 at 11:21 PM
It’s time to clean myself. Velveteen bunny style.
December 31, 2024 at 1:23 PM
It’s time to clean myself. Velveteen bunny style.
I miss when files were fussier and it was easy to break an annoying periodic report. #TPS
a man wearing suspenders and a tie says uh yeah
ALT: a man wearing suspenders and a tie says uh yeah
media.tenor.com
December 31, 2024 at 1:27 AM
I miss when files were fussier and it was easy to break an annoying periodic report. #TPS
Spawnlet gives my marriage 24 months, “with neither of you dead.”
I need a Gantt chart.
I need a Gantt chart.
December 30, 2024 at 2:29 AM
Spawnlet gives my marriage 24 months, “with neither of you dead.”
I need a Gantt chart.
I need a Gantt chart.
Reposted by Abstrusery
I have been brought here this evening by a poorly timed nap.
December 25, 2024 at 9:32 AM
I have been brought here this evening by a poorly timed nap.
Waking up, I thought I felt great until I articulated the feeling:
“Nothing *surprising* hurts.”
“Nothing *surprising* hurts.”
December 23, 2024 at 12:23 PM
Waking up, I thought I felt great until I articulated the feeling:
“Nothing *surprising* hurts.”
“Nothing *surprising* hurts.”
It’s not a competition, but there’s a clear winner.
December 21, 2024 at 2:33 PM
It’s not a competition, but there’s a clear winner.
I haven’t enjoyed working with anyone I knew wasn’t washing hands after using restroom.
#causal or #correlated
#causal or #correlated
December 17, 2024 at 10:01 PM
I haven’t enjoyed working with anyone I knew wasn’t washing hands after using restroom.
#causal or #correlated
#causal or #correlated