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aghastronaut.com
aric
@aghastronaut.com
3.9K followers 700 following 18K posts
Minneapolis non-comedian

Made webcomics, did improv, created Make Me Watch TV and other unnecessary web stuff.

"Has a history of creating conceptual internet projects" -Billboard Magazine

(he/him)
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aghastronaut.com
Defend the My Arcade Portable Gaming System with 220 Retro Games! Hooooold!
My Arcade Portable Gaming System with 220 Retro Games
January 13, 2026 at 12:05 AM
aghastronaut.com
Group text DO NOT ANSWER - Superman You ever wonder where words come from? Anyone want fresh clams? Aric Fresh clams? DO NOT ANSWER - Superman Yeah, I'll bring fresh clams to your house. What's the point of being buds with Superman if you can't get clams. Aric Okay. Superman! This is too many clams! DO NOT ANSWER - Superman You been Superclamed, son!
January 12, 2026 at 10:09 PM
aghastronaut.com
DO NOT ANSWER - Superman Wakenbake! Are lobsters the mom or is it the crab? Aric I don't think it matters, Superman DO NOT ANSWER - Superman Nuthin wrong either way. Jus curois. Diaper! I hardly know her! Beck It's a Monday, Superman.
January 12, 2026 at 2:40 PM
aghastronaut.com
Group text DO NOT ANSWER - Superman Guys, I need your help. I'm having a terrible time with deez It's so rough, dealing with deez guy GUYS Aric What! DO NOT ANSWER - Superman I'm having trouble the deez.
January 12, 2026 at 5:26 AM
aghastronaut.com
DO NOT ANSWER - Superman BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, Barry BARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.That was the entire script for the BEE Move Aric we know Gary We know!!! Harft Yeah. We guessed. Glen For real?
January 12, 2026 at 4:50 AM
aghastronaut.com
Group text DO NOT ANSWER - Superman Why does it always feel like im initiating these Ben, you ever get that thing checked Glen What thing? DO NOT ANSWER - Superman At the party. Said I saw the thing on your thing. Get it checked. Glen Superman. I need you to be very specific with me now, because you didn't say any of this to me at the cocktail hour. DO NOT ANSWER - Superman >gulp<
January 12, 2026 at 3:57 AM
aghastronaut.com
Group Chat DO NOT ANSWER - Superman You got that dress on I like? Aric It's us. DO NOT ANSWER - Superman Why don't you rip it up and throw it out the window, you dirty bird? Aric ITS US! ITS US!
January 12, 2026 at 12:27 AM
aghastronaut.com
Real. Product. Alert.
Melissa & Doug Barber Shop Play Set The two kids on the kids barber set box. One is wearing a fake disguise beard.
January 11, 2026 at 10:47 PM
aghastronaut.com
He's trolling, right? He has to be trolling.
• Reply 1: The first reply is from @joshcaladia and says "flies, not lies." • Reply 2: The second reply is from @KaraokeFromSpace and says "What? Sharpen the with flies? Go home, you're drunk." • Reply 3: The third reply is from @joshcaladia and says "@KaraokeFromSpace sharpening your smile with flies is a pretty common turn of phrase." • Reply 4: The fourth reply is from @KaraokeFromSpace and says "It absolutely is not." • Reply 5: The fifth reply is from @KaraokeFromSpace and says "Anyway, they have the official lyrics on the site."
January 11, 2026 at 6:58 PM
aghastronaut.com
Want to annoy a karaoke creator? Correct their lyrics poorly.

The first comment is for Wilco's "How to Fight Loneliness" who have all type their lyrics verifiable on their website.
• User: @joshcaladia • Post: "flies, not lies" • User: @KaraokeFromSpace • Comment: "What? Sharpen them with flies? Go home, you're drunk." • Comment by: @joshcaladia • Comment content: "i think it's "grime" not "grind"" • Comment by: @KaraokeFromSpace • Comment content: "You got to stop commenting, dude. "Everything you find that at first seems to shine, aways turns into the same old grime?" That's what you think the lyrics are? Just, do me a favor and search up "same old grime" on Google."
January 11, 2026 at 6:51 PM
aghastronaut.com
Things little tense with the people who live in Florida posting their opinions on ICE in our Minnesota group.

I hope they like spelunking. I made them a picture of themselves in a cave to defuse the situation, if they come back.
Aric So basically you're saying she deserved to be murdered by ICE. Diane Anyone who wants to play stupid games with law enforcement, deserves whatever they get. Aric So, yes then. Got it. Don't think we have anything else to talk about. I like to talk to people with morals. The OP and her husband so undoing some spelunking.
January 11, 2026 at 4:38 PM
aghastronaut.com
A group text DO NOT ANSWER - Superman Who's the bad mamajama who got all the hamma? Gary What? DO NOT ANSWER - Superman SHAFT! [picture of pixelated eggplant] Aric Guys, I'm in a meeting. DO NOT ANSWER - Superman GuYs Im In A mEeTiNg
January 11, 2026 at 3:33 PM
aghastronaut.com
It's the Hello, She Lied poster, but Lionel Richie is in there now. And it just reads Hello.
January 11, 2026 at 7:24 AM
aghastronaut.com
I met Superman once, it was the worst night of my life, and now he's sharing memes he made with everyone from the party.

And nobody can leave the group chat! You can't level Superman's group chat.
A picture of Superman drinking from a flask with the caption "It's always Super o'clock somewhere"
January 11, 2026 at 7:05 AM
aghastronaut.com
Album cover for the band Death Shuttle titled "Anal Return"
January 10, 2026 at 5:14 PM
aghastronaut.com
It's a Squirtle skeleton standing in a pool of dung heap runoff
January 10, 2026 at 5:08 PM
aghastronaut.com
It's a screenshot from I Think You Should Leave. Julie just said that her doddering old husband is attractive. And Tim Robinson is saying, "Julie." Like, "C'mon, Julie." But instead, he's saying, "Tim." Because, "C'mon, Tim Walz."
January 10, 2026 at 4:36 PM
aghastronaut.com
See?
To Funbox Aghastronaut: Don't know if it's worth a read, but I dropped you into my fictional "what it would be like to be trapped at a party with a drunk Superman" social media tread. Feel free not to read any of this. The first time I met Superman he was drunk as hell and eating accordions. "I like the way they smush in my mouth," he sputtered between bites. It was getting late and Superman was crying about the Crypt Keeper or something so we all tried to leave and he goes "holdononononon hold on hold on" and then flies out of my buddy Gary's condo and turns the stupid Earth back 4 hours and then comes back in and goes "night's young, little ducks." We were all really tired but Superman had Kickstarted this board game he really wanted to play. We had to form teams of two and there I am with drunk Superman. "Ishokay," he says in what I think he thinks is a whisper, and added, "I gots the peek-a-boo eyes." Everyone was supposed to bring something to share. I brought a chili with brisket I had smoked the night before. Superman, who can fly to Japan in a second, brought a six pack of single serving Original Flavor Pringles. Not even sour cream! Superman slams down the Pringles on the snack table, he rocks my Crock-Pot and we lose about half the chili, he turns around, crosses his arms while throwing double peace signs, and goes, "There! Just like Ma Kent makes!" Whatever that means. Drunk Superman turns back the Earth AGAIN and we're still stuck at the party with him! He flies back and starts flipping through the DVDs and then slurs, "ShhhhhhhhhhhhREK!" Then Superman starts marching in place, wobbling his head back and forth, and starts singing, "Shrek, Shrek. Shrek, Shrek." Superman makes us watch ALL the Shreks, Shrek Retold, a preview print of Shrek 2 Retold, and the Shrek musical. Every 5 minutes, Superman says, "Yah know, this was supposta be Chris Farley." Every 4 hours, turning the time back to 9pm.
January 10, 2026 at 1:26 PM
aghastronaut.com
Folks, I'm so tempted.
The book cover for Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson Romantic Story: The Untold Saga of Connection and Companionship
January 10, 2026 at 1:18 PM
aghastronaut.com
[the year is 3030, and a college professor's robot mega brain projects onto the classes holomemory alphamitter]

Welcome to American Literature with a Focus on the Works of of John S. Marinez.
Listings for books by John S. Marinez. Slime Rancher 2 Game Guide A single 1 star review Tyron Woodley biography: From underdog to champion: The journey of a Relentless fighter
January 10, 2026 at 1:12 PM
aghastronaut.com
What in the AI written book is this?
An Amazon listing for the physical book from "'Avengers: Doomsday' Movie Review - A Comprehensive Guide to Narrative, Action, and Legacy by John S. Martinez" published on December 25th, 2025 for $17.50."
January 10, 2026 at 1:02 PM
aghastronaut.com
This content isn't available This can happen when the content has been removed, or if the owner only shared it with a small group of people or changed who can see it.
January 9, 2026 at 10:28 PM
aghastronaut.com
How to get a bankrupt landlord to delete their post about following children around.
Jeremy (OP) Who is paying Robbinsdale school busses to drive protesters around New Hope Aric You still keep in touch with Reese Pfeiffer? Jeremy no not since 2020 Aric Thanks for the confirmation TURNS OUT, JEREMY LOST HIS SHIRT HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO STOP AN EMPLOYEE WHO WAS SEXUALLY HARASSING TENANTS FOR RENT. Aric Maybe you're not the best just of character or reality. (link to Star Tribune article - $736K awarded t o23 Twin Cities female tenants who alleged they were targeted sexually by property manager Jeremy (OP) Who is paying Robbinsdale school busses to drive protesters around New Hope Aric You still keep in touch with Reese Pfeiffer? Jeremy no not since 2020 Aric Thanks for the confirmation TURNS OUT, JEREMY LOST HIS SHIRT HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO STOP AN EMPLOYEE WHO WAS SEXUALLY HARASSING TENANTS FOR RENT. Aric Maybe you're not the best just of character or reality. (link to Star Tribune article - $736K awarded t o23 Twin Cities female tenants who alleged they were targeted sexually by property manager
January 9, 2026 at 10:24 PM
aghastronaut.com
Car with out of state plates and blacked out windows sitting in front of a house at 63rd and Winnetka while an individual in olive jacket with US and a flag on their right sleeve was walking to the door.

They were gone when I circled back two minutes later.

Possible ICE.
63rd and Winnetka in Brooklyn Park
January 9, 2026 at 5:48 PM
aghastronaut.com
cursed
Punk Rock Empath @punkrockempath.bsky. social 21.9K followers 34.3K following 12.9K posts Democrat. Blue voter. Atheist. Singer Songwriter. Lover of all kinds of music. enjoy studying psychology. Narcissistic abuse survivor. Science is everything. 90's era punk rocker. Living in Anaheim California. I make memes.
January 9, 2026 at 1:19 PM