AlanPadres
@alanpadres.bsky.social
Pragmatist/Optimist/Pessimist. New Grad Registered Nurse in the Pediatric ICU🙏❤️ Life is like a cake, there’s LAYERS to it! Context matters. GO PADRES!!!
If I’m Schwarber, the only way I sign with Pittsburgh is if they offer over $100 million PER year
December 8, 2025 at 2:51 AM
If I’m Schwarber, the only way I sign with Pittsburgh is if they offer over $100 million PER year
Not unless you’re married to one
December 8, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Not unless you’re married to one
“Analysts argue the vacuum successfully lowers the concentration of household fecal matter.
Critics say it doesn’t deliver what’s promised.
This opinion piece argues why it’s time to address the root cause and for man to get a new best friend, saying bye to Fido . . . and saying hi to F”ai”do”
Critics say it doesn’t deliver what’s promised.
This opinion piece argues why it’s time to address the root cause and for man to get a new best friend, saying bye to Fido . . . and saying hi to F”ai”do”
December 7, 2025 at 8:57 PM
“Analysts argue the vacuum successfully lowers the concentration of household fecal matter.
Critics say it doesn’t deliver what’s promised.
This opinion piece argues why it’s time to address the root cause and for man to get a new best friend, saying bye to Fido . . . and saying hi to F”ai”do”
Critics say it doesn’t deliver what’s promised.
This opinion piece argues why it’s time to address the root cause and for man to get a new best friend, saying bye to Fido . . . and saying hi to F”ai”do”
Happy Holidays Bitch ❤️🎄✨❤️
December 5, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Happy Holidays Bitch ❤️🎄✨❤️
Trump reading this:
December 5, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Trump reading this:
Aliens watching the humans be petty and play war games while they abduct people and do weird experiments on them while tapping into the infinite consciousness of the universe and chuckling at how they used to act like kids too over 10 million years ago
December 5, 2025 at 1:48 AM
Aliens watching the humans be petty and play war games while they abduct people and do weird experiments on them while tapping into the infinite consciousness of the universe and chuckling at how they used to act like kids too over 10 million years ago
Washington Post:
“But should we really believe that a woman who’s dedicated her life to making a positive impact in children’s lives and is universally loved actually wants kids to live?
This author argues why that premise is built on a foundation of sand”
“But should we really believe that a woman who’s dedicated her life to making a positive impact in children’s lives and is universally loved actually wants kids to live?
This author argues why that premise is built on a foundation of sand”
December 5, 2025 at 1:36 AM
Washington Post:
“But should we really believe that a woman who’s dedicated her life to making a positive impact in children’s lives and is universally loved actually wants kids to live?
This author argues why that premise is built on a foundation of sand”
“But should we really believe that a woman who’s dedicated her life to making a positive impact in children’s lives and is universally loved actually wants kids to live?
This author argues why that premise is built on a foundation of sand”
Now nobody can say that the San Diego Padres are going into 2026 half-cocked
December 4, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Now nobody can say that the San Diego Padres are going into 2026 half-cocked
But will Kristi Noem fill out the necessary paperwork in between her Botox appointments and Home Depot raids?
December 1, 2025 at 3:24 AM
But will Kristi Noem fill out the necessary paperwork in between her Botox appointments and Home Depot raids?
The good guys sign 25-year-old-OF Jace Bowen to be the new President of Baseball Operations of the “Presented by WWE Survivor Series and Fanduel: San Diego Padres 🤎💛
When asked why they were going with another “Jace” after the Tingler debacle, Erik Greupner simply responded with a meme:
When asked why they were going with another “Jace” after the Tingler debacle, Erik Greupner simply responded with a meme:
December 1, 2025 at 2:17 AM
The good guys sign 25-year-old-OF Jace Bowen to be the new President of Baseball Operations of the “Presented by WWE Survivor Series and Fanduel: San Diego Padres 🤎💛
When asked why they were going with another “Jace” after the Tingler debacle, Erik Greupner simply responded with a meme:
When asked why they were going with another “Jace” after the Tingler debacle, Erik Greupner simply responded with a meme:
With 71 minutes left to play, surely the San Diego team can still win this game 👍
November 30, 2025 at 3:45 AM
With 71 minutes left to play, surely the San Diego team can still win this game 👍
What Stephen Miller sees before he cums
November 29, 2025 at 12:42 AM
What Stephen Miller sees before he cums
What will happen first?
The deportation of every non-white in America?
Or
An extension for AJ Preller?
The deportation of every non-white in America?
Or
An extension for AJ Preller?
November 28, 2025 at 11:54 PM
What will happen first?
The deportation of every non-white in America?
Or
An extension for AJ Preller?
The deportation of every non-white in America?
Or
An extension for AJ Preller?
First Thanksgiving in many years that I’ve spent alone, as I began a new job in the midwest, but I’ve never been happier with where I’m at in my career, family relationships, and understanding of myself.
I have so much to be thankful for, and I’m eternally grateful to have made it to this point 🙏❤️
I have so much to be thankful for, and I’m eternally grateful to have made it to this point 🙏❤️
November 27, 2025 at 11:30 PM
First Thanksgiving in many years that I’ve spent alone, as I began a new job in the midwest, but I’ve never been happier with where I’m at in my career, family relationships, and understanding of myself.
I have so much to be thankful for, and I’m eternally grateful to have made it to this point 🙏❤️
I have so much to be thankful for, and I’m eternally grateful to have made it to this point 🙏❤️
Remember, it’s about being with the people you care about most.
Happy Thanksgiving 🥰🦃
Happy Thanksgiving 🥰🦃
November 27, 2025 at 6:25 AM
Remember, it’s about being with the people you care about most.
Happy Thanksgiving 🥰🦃
Happy Thanksgiving 🥰🦃
If he was a true Christ believer he would whip himself with a cat-0-9-tails like Paul Bettany
November 27, 2025 at 3:37 AM
If he was a true Christ believer he would whip himself with a cat-0-9-tails like Paul Bettany
Don’t know why Shark Fin Soup is so popular when Shark Coochie is far tastier and less destructive
November 27, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Don’t know why Shark Fin Soup is so popular when Shark Coochie is far tastier and less destructive
Saw the last name and for a second figured it was just another horrendous take from this dude
November 25, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Saw the last name and for a second figured it was just another horrendous take from this dude
Empire’s thirst for black blood is never sated
November 24, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Empire’s thirst for black blood is never sated
Found on Facebook mareketplace:
“This holiday season, get something special for the Mets fan in your life” 🎄
“This holiday season, get something special for the Mets fan in your life” 🎄
November 24, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Found on Facebook mareketplace:
“This holiday season, get something special for the Mets fan in your life” 🎄
“This holiday season, get something special for the Mets fan in your life” 🎄
Imai Tatsuya YOU are a San Diego Padre 😎
November 24, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Imai Tatsuya YOU are a San Diego Padre 😎
OG Iron Chef is one of the greatest shows of all time and I’ll fight your grandma if she doesn’t like it
November 23, 2025 at 3:03 AM
OG Iron Chef is one of the greatest shows of all time and I’ll fight your grandma if she doesn’t like it
Keira Knightley scrolling bluesky coming across your skeet:
November 23, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Keira Knightley scrolling bluesky coming across your skeet:
Hakeem Jeffries has endorsed Marjorie Taylor Greene after he condemned socialism:
“MTG may be a small step above Trump, but that’s FAR better than Zohran Mamdani, a sicko who wants to control rent prices and make life affordable for REGULAR people. I’m puking and shitting at the thought”
“MTG may be a small step above Trump, but that’s FAR better than Zohran Mamdani, a sicko who wants to control rent prices and make life affordable for REGULAR people. I’m puking and shitting at the thought”
November 22, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Hakeem Jeffries has endorsed Marjorie Taylor Greene after he condemned socialism:
“MTG may be a small step above Trump, but that’s FAR better than Zohran Mamdani, a sicko who wants to control rent prices and make life affordable for REGULAR people. I’m puking and shitting at the thought”
“MTG may be a small step above Trump, but that’s FAR better than Zohran Mamdani, a sicko who wants to control rent prices and make life affordable for REGULAR people. I’m puking and shitting at the thought”